Thursday, June 2, 2011

Yamo Been There

I’m going full nottadouche and goinpeace for our Jamaican rasta-bro who likes to butt grind Most Expensive First Date Hotts on the dance floor.

Yamo’s Fu Manchu, dreads, tatt and stupid pants just don’t rankle, and feel aesthetically consistent for a brothabag to get away with.

So here’s your notta Yamo.

And I see what you see.

Bethany’s Mayan Eye of Coitus is both crotch-melting and bank account draining in all the most potent ways.

# posted by douchebag1
12:33 pm June, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

A Michael McDonald reference, ok. I also give a Notta but he’s not even close to being a Rasta with real dreads. Seeing that Jamaican music always seems to put me in a good mood I share this with you. Check out when Jimmy Cliff’s “Ivan” has his Ah hah Moment. Toots & the Maytals are the shit. Son!!1
.

12:35 pm June, 2 Bflak said...

Seriously? Not a douche? I respectfully, yet totally disagree, boss. While his demeanor seems pleasant, and he has the fat guy from Jackass looking over his shoulder, this dude is a douche. Incredibly manicured facial hair, incredibly poseurish head hair (if it’s for some jamaican religeous deal, okay, I’ll give him a pass on it), otherwise, douche, jeans torn by 9-year old Chinese factory workers to look oh so vintage and cool, sweatband worn while not playing sports (I mean is he afraid his hand will get too sweaty to hold that drink? WTF?), and arm tattoo, mark this choad as auto douche.

12:37 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I liked her better when her hair was red. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0qy3JHz6X0. And boner.

12:40 pm June, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

In the back corner is that John Largemans long lost Asian cousin Huang Largeming? I could be wrong.
.
Bethany looks naughty but agreed with DB1 account draining expensive first date.

12:42 pm June, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Bethany’s not the only one that can rock a pink dress (don’t know if she has a snaggle tooth )
.

.
Don’t know which one these chicks I’ve the heat for more, Kara or Jewel

12:46 pm June, 2 Southern Scrotic said...

That’s not Yamo from Jamaica, that’s Ernie the Jiffy Lube guy from Cleveland.

12:52 pm June, 2 tall guy said...

I, too, respectfully refudiate (lol) the Notta call based solely on those jeans. Sure the shredding is as artful as plastic mozzarella stacked on ham’n’pineapple pizza… But they’re sitting as low as Sarah Palin’s small-town back dealings, which even when observed from the Southern Hemisphere, appear quite low.
Douche!

12:53 pm June, 2 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Risk/Reward: Jewell- excellent body, she could sing to you, and probably wouldn’t expect too much, but serious scrote damage risk during oral. Kara- Excellent body, take charge/can do attitude, and always well presented, but she may need a fresh coat of paint and osme rustproofing. All in all, I would rail Jewell back to Alaska and live in an igloo and eat nothing but Narwhale and her poon.

Rasta: Notta, but stay the fuck away from my daughter until you get a haircut and a shower.

1:01 pm June, 2 Fist of the Douche Star said...

those are fake dreds. he is a douche just for that alone. A real rasta would machete his dome off.

1:07 pm June, 2 Mandouchian Candidate said...

If that is a brotha wearin dread extensions- that would be douchiest move in history, edging out Benito “il douche” Mussolini, for not only being a pussy, but a fake pussy.

Side note: Why does the italian navy have glass bottom boats?
*
*
*So they can see the old Italian Navy…
^
^
too soon?

1:09 pm June, 2 Fatness said...

Stupid tatt. Stupid facial hair. Stupid pants. Stupid wristband. Stupid black (!) puka shell necklace. He’s a douchebag.
.
And that is more like Bethany’s Mayan Eye of Cocaine. She’s about two drinks away from passing out.
.
Next.

1:10 pm June, 2 jonezy said...

shit that was funny Et Tu D.
.
Is anyone bookmarking Largeman sighting this year? Surely we need a Yearly category for his watchful, observant eyes. Always there, no matter what country or what venue. Watching….

1:45 pm June, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Jonezy
I’m keeping score or at least trying too. Here is his euro cousin

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/03/jan-larggman-watches/

2:00 pm June, 2 Anonymous said...

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

2:03 pm June, 2 jonezy said...

you know, I’ve kind of always wondered if maybe John Largeman had a daughter, Janet, pensively waiting in the midst of our favorite Everybag, Ricky:
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/12/douchiest-everybag-ricky/

2:07 pm June, 2 jonezy said...

also, John Largeman’s wife

2:13 pm June, 2 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Wow Jonezy- Mrs Largeman reminds me of Meatwad from Aquateen Hunger Force…

2:13 pm June, 2 Mandouchian Candidate said...

http://media.photobucket.com/image/meatwad/sk8erLG/meatwad.gif

2:16 pm June, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I don’t know if she’s that expensive, boss. I think you were fooled by the bedazzled shoulder bling. When I think expensive, I mean a pending bankruptcy in high heals, I expect a slinky black dress (no bubble-gum pink!), a bit more precious metal around the wrists and neck, and champagne in place of whatever the hell that is she is drinking.

2:24 pm June, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Jonezy
I’m convinced John Largeman has a somewhat hot chick maybe wife. Nothing like what you posted.

2:27 pm June, 2 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I agree with (Run) DMC- a bedazzled dress from Ross’s and a Smirnoff Cosmo may give the allure of high class, but from the looks of surroundings/other females, she is probably getting groped at the waiting area of a Red Lobster. Her machine washable dress will look good with butter and jizz stains, balled up in a clothes hamper on top of this guys dreads.

2:41 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

This guy doesn’t fool me with his receding hairline dreads. I agree with Southern Scrotic, he’s from Cleveland and the closest he’s been to Jamaica was that time he drove to Cincinnati to pick up a case of bearing grease for the Jiffy Lube.
He ain’t Rasta, doesn’t smoke enough ganja. Our own irreverent Reverend Chad could bong-hit him under the table.
.
And by bong-hit him, I mean hit him in the head with a table leg til it goes “bong” and steal his weed.

3:23 pm June, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Notta, even though his dreads probably smell like Chewbacca.
.
He needs dread deoderizer.
.
http://www.knottyboy.com/shop/product/natural_mistic_lock_deodorizer_fragrance_spray/

3:32 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

John Largeman can detach his asshole and flick it like a throwing star.

3:35 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

John Largeman can make waffles with his ass crack, once fingerbanged Yeardly Smith and can sprint 340 yards underwater.

3:37 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

John Largeman tipped a waitress in Vegas once with a human head.

4:08 pm June, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

I’m gonna go with douche on this one for the reasons Bflak listed above. And I shall call him Billy Dee Marley. And she’s probably $100 tops. More if you want anything extra.

4:15 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

John Largeman closes his eyes when he drives through tunnels.

4:16 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

John Largeman can stamp hubcaps for a ’87 Buick with his forehead.

4:16 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

John Largeman can reproduce bird whistles with his foreskin.

4:18 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

John Largeman uses kerosene and floor wax for salad dressing.

4:18 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

John Largeman eats dried prunes and shits out tire tubes.

4:20 pm June, 2 Hermit said...

John Largeman seduces troubled teenage girls by vibrating his chin against a paper towel tube.

4:22 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

John Largeman’s penis was retired yesterday after it’s final re-entry,

4:23 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

John Largeman skateboards on the Texas panhandle.

4:24 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

John Largeman uses his razor to skim toxic waste of his ocean.

4:25 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

John Largeman knows the truth behind the stain in the pink panties that Sarah Palin gave Geddy Lee backstage.

7:44 pm June, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

This’d make a great Pepto Bismol ad,

8:11 pm June, 2 soy bomb said...

He gets no Cultural Leniency Pass (CLP) from this ‘bag hunter just because he’s a brotha’. He’s displaying several adouchements, and if indeed he’s wearing hair extensions that might qualify him as one of the worst douches ever. nopassforyou

8:19 pm June, 2 creature said...

this gal crushes scull with her thighs

8:33 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

John Largeman downloads cholesterol from iTunes.

9:23 pm June, 2 Stephanie said...

Hipster dreadful.

4:18 am June, 3 Hermit said...

John Largeman read this article with great interest.

4:19 am June, 3 Hermit said...

John Largeman sprinkles stool softener on his poached eggs.

4:20 am June, 3 Hermit said...

John Largeman eats doughnuts with a coal shovel.

4:53 am June, 3 Hermit said...

John Largeman was a blind gospel singer and slide-guitarist who played in black churches and juke joints in northern Louisiana and Arkansas until 1978 when his vision was restored after his spleen erupted.

7:27 am June, 3 Douche Meridian said...

Fake dreads. Douche.

I just noticed I have the same belt he does. I’m going to have to do something about that.

8:36 am June, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

John Largeman knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

8:38 am June, 3 Troy Tempest said...

That’s not Yamo from Jamaica, that’s Dwayne the guy who installed my cabinets. He’s really a very good carpenter.

3:47 pm June, 4 idfma said...

I was not able to read the whole thread, but autodouche = Milli Vanilli lookalike.
.
My apologies if someone already made the observation.

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