'Bag / Nottabag
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Thursday, July 18, 2013
'Bag/Nottabag: Hackeysack Dave
What say you, reader?
Is Hackeysack Dave a ‘bag?
Evidence of ‘bag:
1. Neckglasses. In reverse neck ‘bag position.
2. Obnoxious retro surfer t-shirt
3. Silly shorts
4. Backwards baseball cap like it’s 1992.
5. Creepy mutant Metaluna toe
Evidence of Nottabag:
1. No douche attitude or hand gestures when cuddling with Innocent College Hott Cathy
2. No doucheface
3. Easygoing, laid back, friendly demeanor
4. Respectful cuddle
What say you?
Thursday, July 19, 2012Douche or Nottadouche?
Mohawk Marv has a pre-emptive bald guy marine ‘hawk, possibly unearned dog tags and painfully cute girlfriend Tiny Tina.
My douche radar is on the blink…what say you, my dickish bunch? Douche or Notta and go in peace?
Thursday, May 24, 2012'Bag / Nottabag: Ed "Too Tall" Bones
What say you? ‘Bag? ‘Notta? I’m probably going with notta. Ed “Too Tall” Bones seems like the best cooler to ever work at the Double Deuce.
Mmm… oh Kelly Back Arch. How your soft pillows arch with distening glew in the Vegas morn. I poke and prod each one with a willow branch to observe skin tautage, and then whimper in a laundry basket for Gozer the Destroyer’s fire and brimstone promises, before softly slipping into a REM sleep dream about butterfly fly swatter butt slapping the Patriots Cheerleading Team.
Monday, November 21, 2011Melvin In the Garden of Hot Chick Eden
I gotta say, good for you, Melvin. Messy mid 70’s Anchorman style aside, your poo eating grin is well deserved and prefectly apropos to the situation of illogic in which you find yourself.
Now bite the proverbial apple, and cast us all into sin.
Thursday, October 27, 2011Is this John Largeman Douching it up??
Could it be true??
Could HCwDB folk hero John Largeman have gone to the douche side to snag a Tiny Dancer Hott?
Or is this an impostor, hoping to besmirch Mr. Largeman’s good name?
Wily Mo Panama lurks disapprovingly.
Friday, September 2, 2011Slash: ‘Bag / Nottabag via the Rockstar Leniency Rule
Here’s an interesting test of the Rockstar Leniency Rule.
This pic is from Slash’s recent wedding. While no one denies Slash’s impact on music and talents as a guitarist, his style has always been part of the dress up performativity from his GnR days. Thus the hat, hair, etc. are a sort of costume likened to a fictional presence, and therefore performative.
That being said, it’s hard not to find Slash pretty damn douchey, as many have debated.
I’m on the fence. Certainly the top hat look was RLR, just as it was for Axl Rose’s mandana thing.
But twenty five years later? Middle age? David Lee Roth knew when to give up the spandex and rocker hair.
Does Slash’s ‘tude cross over and earn ‘bag status? Or does RLR continue?
Thursday, August 25, 2011White Bob Marley Fan is Tall
Okay, he’s probably not a major league yabo.
But I’m in a hottie taut stomach fixation looch spackle phase. So humor me.
And while you’re humoring me, see if you can figure out that banner behind them. “Fill Your Gnawing Dread at Comprehending Mortality in a Limitless Universe By Staring at a Hottie’s Stomach Looch Spackle Here” is my first guess.
And yeah, that last pic was just a little too “error” filled to keep up on the site.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011‘Bag / Nottabag: Sunset Dusty
Sunset Dusty is a tough call.
Do we call douche for the stupidhair and inability to make a tie?
Or do we give him the goofball pass, a shmoey teen in way over his head, out of his league and under his depth, with Perfect Sucklechomp Amanda.
All of 48 hours away from Amanda realizing she could date 30 year olds with jobs, cars and money.
What say you?
Dusty.
‘Bag?
Or Nottabag?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011Big Red is All Growed Up
Only the longest of longtime HCwDB readers will remember pudly ‘bagling Big Red from way back in 2006.
Big Red was going down the tragic path of collar pop and douche hand gesture. The ‘Red even made it to his prom in strange-ass green tie as he slowly grew into a college ‘bagling.
Longtime readers, I bring good news!
Big Red is all groweds up.
And actually looks pretty a-ok while pulling some quite tasty collegiate hotties.
Good for you, Big Red.
A tip of Ubiquitous Red Cup in your direction, and a hearty go in peace.
Wait!!… Is that a… “Shocker?”… Oh, Big Red. So close. And yet so far.
Friday, July 22, 2011Are Tatts Inherently Douchey? The Debate Continues
Fired up by Wednesday’s discussion of whether sleeve tatts are autodouche, an exellent Talmudic debate engaging higher scrotological metaphysical considerations, I thought I’d post Andy and Andrea.
Andrea, of course, is standard issue midwest hard-ass and slightly terrifying wafer milf. An annoying accent and probably terrible in bed, but of the ladies who participate in the Church of the Slutty Mary’s annual bakesale, she’s the way hottest of the bunch.
But Andy?
Andy’s not so much a douche at all. Except for some undies poke, which may be incidental, he really doesn’t deserve mock. That being said, tribal shoulder tatt does equal douche. So is Andy a ‘bag?
Of the pics that I post on HCwDB, I reject dozens a day, and many of them are average bro/shmoes like Andy. So I’m still forced to conclude that most tatts, with the exception of annoying tribal inscriptions and Mayan and Chinese lettering and symbols on people who are neither Mayan nor Chinese (Mayan Eye of Coitus exempted), are not, in and of themselves auto-‘bag markers.
But, as with pigeons and poo, tatts are far more likely to be found hanging in the area of major scrotological behaviors.
So lets mark tatts as warning signs. They might not mark douche on their own. But they’re a likely entrance drug to a larger choadal world.
With a significant caveat: There is a growing catalog of tatts that do, in fact, mark autodouche simply based on the garishness and stupidity of their existence.
