Thursday, July 18, 2013
'Bag/Nottabag: Hackeysack Dave
What say you, reader?
Is Hackeysack Dave a ‘bag?
Evidence of ‘bag:
1. Neckglasses. In reverse neck ‘bag position.
2. Obnoxious retro surfer t-shirt
3. Silly shorts
4. Backwards baseball cap like it’s 1992.
5. Creepy mutant Metaluna toe
Evidence of Nottabag:
1. No douche attitude or hand gestures when cuddling with Innocent College Hott Cathy
2. No doucheface
3. Easygoing, laid back, friendly demeanor
4. Respectful cuddle
What say you?
The Nottas outweigh the Douche attributes, and ICH Cathy obviously drinks her milk every day. She’s one of those smartie college chicks who likes to cut loose with an occasional hippie skirt.
She loves his “Uncle Andy Toe Fuck” skills. But what chick wouldn’t?
Notta. All of the bag signifiers other than the backwards glasses could be explained by red/green colorblindness.
Notta. No tatts or neck bling.
I’m thinking he picked up her up at a bar last night, and these are clothes her older brother left when he moved out 8 years ago…….
Notta – If he had the least hint of Bleeth my answer might be different
You need to do the Bud test.
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What is a Bud test? offer him a Budwiser (not lite) and see if he asks for a PBR in a can instead.
Odds are good he’s a PBR swilling hipster douchebag, but until a Bud test or further reports, we won’t know for sure. So provisinal notta.
Granola-bag and organic soy vegan bleeth. They don’t bother me, but she can keep her natural and musky smelling superbush the hell away from me.
Public service announcement: Chinese made counterfeit Birkenstocks have been know to cause gorilla toe.
Stifler-bag
Go-in-peace.
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I don’t know of a good analogy, but that movie, The Endless Summer, is awesome. If some dude was wearing a Die Hard t-shirt, for instance, you’d be like “go on with your bad self, brotha”
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I’ve been watching a lot Die Hard lately. One or another of those movies seems to be on tv every day this month. Can. Not. Not. Watch it.
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Lots of Lethal Weapon too.
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point being, good for him getting sexy Cathy to snuggle into him.
I gotta say notta….
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…..just like I gotta say I gotta lotta knot in my shorts the second I saw College Hott Cathy
The last Diehard was an abomination, J.
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Reminds me that I’m looking forward to Pacific Rim. No not that one. The monster movie. I’m pretty sure Del Toro is hip enough to get the double entendre and I dig him for sticking with the title.
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Way back before the days of skipping second period to get baked in my buddies car. Even before the days I had to masturbate furiously for hours to the image of a single, silky brown pube poking out from the side of my girlfriend’s bikini bottoms… I remember being a boy of about 6. Rainy afternoons I’d sometimes pull out a container of cheap “made in Taiwan” plastic monsters and dinosaurs that I’d collected a dime at time from coin-op vending machines. Drop in a coin, twist the dial, and get a plastic egg shaped container with a critter inside.
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What do plastic monsters and dinosaurs like to do? Team up and fight to the death for new good reason. That’s what. Dialog was mostly triumphant roars and the whimpers of the mortally wounded waiting for their death blows. And after the pink and yellow colored dudes, and silly looking dudes with lobster claws, or the dudes that got broken and were fighting injured went to the great monster bin in the sky, some righteous blue colored dragon or tyrannosaurus would be the ultimate monster fighting champion. And he’d be entitled to a victory stomp on the corpses of the vanquished.
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I’d go back to those days in a second. Even if it meant mom would still in the next room drunk on boxed wine and ready to explode. I’d go back. So bring on Pacific Rim, I don’t care if it is geared toward 10 year old retards. I’m gonna watch it.
Notta. Probably just a surfer dude. Old surfing tshirt may in fact be real and not ironic. Go in peace brah.
I would say the neckglasses are a sign of a nottabag because the alternative, unnecessarily wearing sunglasses when not in the sun, is decisively douchey.
Fuck all that. He’s a fuckin’ freak with that toe.
notta…GIP
Nottadouche.
No Billy Idol-face. No gaudy tatts. No hand gestures.
And she’s Nottabaguette. For the same reasons he’s Nottadouche.
Justadudeandjustagirl.
(website idea)
IF I’M GAY THEN FREDDIE MERCURY WAS GAY
Notttabag. Hell, he might be the first ink-free guy I’ve ever seen on this site.
go in peace.
Can’t we all just get along and share the Cookie Crisp?
Not a bag. All douche traits are minor except glasses.