Monday, December 12, 2011
Orangest Orange: Dieter
While Orangeness has faded amonst the douchal populace, and that is undoubtedly a good thing, 2011 still saw it’s fair share of turd blossoms of a crimson hue.
And while there were obvious and more garish contenders like The Greasepitz, Clifford The Big Red ‘Bag, Asian Orange, something about Dieter just freaks me out.
From back in March. When he bothered Minnesota Marnie. With a tasy cola on the fridge. Just all sorts of hottie/douchey wrongness dialectic at work here. And thus, the well deserved and surprise 2011 Douchie Award is its.
Dieter is a lesbo.
“something about Dieter just freaks me out.” Yea he’s a she.
Pfft .. tube TV. Get with the program, Dieter. Porn is way better in HD, even the cuckold stuff
I’m thinking she’s more of a burnt sienna.
I just puked orange.
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Chrysophobes
Orange was always my favorite Triaminic flavor
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I’m gonna need some after seeing this shit again
Nice face, liver lips. Somebody call the circus and tell them we found Dieter.
^Damnit. Sorry.
If this was any other ass-ferret other than Dieter, I would say Asian Orange was robbed. But it is Dieter, the trump card in Douche Evolution.
He looks like Gator’s gay nephew
And that chick is homely as balls.
^True. And in a strangely related evolutionary accident, Gater is also Gator’s gay nephew. It’s kind of hard to follow, but maybe Rev. Chad will play the famous “I’m My Own Grampa” by the great Ray Stevens, so we can all understand how these things happen.
This is what happens when you sell anal bleach in the same size and shaped container as ChapStick™.
Dieter says, “Your heterosexuality has become tiresome. You may not touch my monkey. Now iz the time on Sprockets when ve dance.”
DarkSock @11:53 FTW.
I was all fucked up in March. Must have been right before the voluntary committal wash-out shit. But I’m better now-ooooooo.
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Let’s give a shout out to the devil. Live from the Kroeger wing of The Shitfuck Community Health Care Centre. Oh Yea, Anthrax rocks. Anybody got a live Helix to appear at the Douchies would be appreciated.
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http://ww.youtube.com/watch?v=vifMDjJ12ks
And sourdough bread is best made from a starter containing candidia yeast. Am I right Choad TDS.
If Peter Pan were flamboyantly gay, from Germany, and suffering from carotenemia, he would look exactly like this.
Oops.
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I can’t believe this is still a category. It’s called skin cancer people. Fear it.
He reminds me, vaguely, in passing, of Spike the vampire from Buffy/Angel.
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Just don’t let James Marsters or Joss Whedon know I thought that…
His smirk says it all. We have a winner.
A freak that works West Hollywood no doubt. You can’t see the Cheetos he/she sucked on.
Every year before this one it was an election. And I would SCIENTERRIFICALLY prove using photoshop who was the most orange of the provided candidates. Orange is equal red and equal Yellow in subtractive colour space (you learn that crap in kindergarten, remember?) Here in the technical vastness of the Future, we all run in RGB colour space, so we know what red is (255 0 0) and we know what Yellow is (255 255 0) and therefore Orange is (255 128 0)
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And what I would do is select each face and do an average for that area. Whoever was closest to 255 128 0 was obviously the most orange.
I just did that to the “Winner” here, and he comes up 226 149 113. A far cry from 255 128 0. However, when I sample his forehead only, it came up 253 186 145. Which is a lot closer. Still too blue, but not bad.
colour science geek has spoken. Back to my Rum from Barbados….
This is a weak year for orange compared to the year that brought us both Cheeto Man and, hell, I can’t even remember, some other remarkably orange folks. But Dieter just plain bugs me, so I don’t mind him winning.