Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Most Euro Eurobag: Brobot

Our resident drunk nihilist, The Reverend Chad Kroeger, hands out the award:

—————
As I sit here in my deluxe home office in which I do nothing but watch porn, checkout whats on HCwDB, look at escort websites and roll doobies if there is enough room cause of the beer bottles. I grow more irate with time as the Europeans suck the life out of their socialized fish and chips eating citizens and Will and Kate’s f@cking horse faced foetus is the front story of a world crazed with celebrity and excess, I am reminded of Herman Melville who stated in his writings that, “It is the douchebag amongst us who takes delight in the plight of the poor who eat poo and sucheth. They who whine and purr aesthetic while lounging in their testicle baring shorts the very reason why this country was founded by those who were tired of Angela Merkel’s soiled liverwurst-dripping pantywaste and the cornucopia of poseurs in the Europa of Aldous Huxley’s writings.”

A Moby Dick of European stature was very hard to find in this year of austerity and strikes. The economic crises of the Old World (no respect) has led to an exodus of Mulattoes (respect and boner) flocking to North America like so many Hungarian gypsies claiming refugee status in Canada and hiding in boats to cross the mighty St. Lawrence river to the promised land of America. Eurobags are out of cash and they habe no flash my honkies.

British people attended a ridiculous spectacle of Olympic proportions this past summer with those f@cking teeth, f@cking duck I hate those f@ckers. Kenneth Branagh is a world class homo-sucking banger- eating wuss douchebag. Camilla’s face haunts me from a nether world of creepy knights in armour and tales of Belgian soldiers hopped up on poppy dust and dark warm beer-like beverages.

Germany will rise against Holy Israel as these end times approach my brothers. Har’ Mageddeon is near in the festive time of Christian rituals and Yamaha wearing Jews eating their poached and stuffed carp and shit. We will wage war against the Eurobags and win the war against pigs feet and souvlaki platters.

The winner of the coveted and Greek-hating Peloponnesian “Most Euro Eurobag” comes from way back last January on the same day I resumed my studies of higher economics and ‘tang. The one, the only, the ripped jean spectacular of craptastic Polish sausage and schnitzel enema’d European excess and f@cking douchebaggery is The Brobot.

There are no runners up this year. Austerity reminds me of a girl I knew who had herpes of the vag, but she still sucked c@#k with a clean mouth. Oh, to be ten again, Son.

Son
—————–

Well done, Reverend. More Brobot Brobaggery here, here, and here.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
Loading ... Loading ...
# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
3:06 pm December, 12 Vin Douchal said...

“Enema’d European Excess” will push Skrillex off of the club music charts this year. Mark my words
.
Rev, your pick was perfect, however, WTF are you talking about?
.
.
Before you answer, check out Gary Clark Jr. , soul man …
.
.
Then for something completely different, Alt-Country soon to be legends, mark my words, Alabama Shakes

3:58 pm December, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’d give her the time of day.
.
I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire. Especially if he were on fire.

4:05 pm December, 12 hermit said...

Vin ^ When you open Rev’s links it all makes perfect sense.
.
I’m glad he sobered up for this.

6:51 pm December, 12 Charles Douchewin said...

Excellently worded, Rev!
.
I appreciate how your ideas frame an american (Melvillian) view on european culture to capture a historical and contemporary zeitgeist of multi-national angst, and stereotypical iconography to characterize the concept of Eurobag, and leave us on a note of childhood reminiscence.
.
Verily, this diatribe is a fitting tribute to the brobot.
.
Verily, I says.
.
(This appending “I says”, is alot of fun. I says.)

7:29 pm December, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

So I got stoned earlier this evening for the first time in a couple of months. It wasn’t til now that I opened up to this masterwork from The Right Honorable Reverend Chad Kroeger. A brilliant synopsis to be sure however if one isn’t familiar with the Revs style it might takes years to figure out what the hell he just said and that’s all right with me.
.
@Vin
Re; Alabama Shakes, good call that chick has the passion and can belt it out.

8:40 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m really stoned. I says. Son. Vin’s got some good music there. The black dude singing for Alabama Shakes is awesome.But I prefer the Mulatto’s music over the other dude,
.
Tight band. And the snare drum is really tight and shit. That other band the shakes singer looks like he’s growing boobs,
.
Charlie Rose is telling me to drink faster and smoke more doobs.My brain is tellingh me that I should take an aspirin. Thanks for the commetn of the week dB1
.
Sons

8:43 pm December, 12 DarkSock said...

I have no idea what the fuck Rev just said, and I approve of this message.
.
Brilliant screed; let it be written in Stoned.
.
Lucky Ass Coloradans.

9:33 pm December, 12 The Dude said...

I have nothing to say, and I am saying it.
.
Nice job, Sir Reverend!

9:34 pm December, 12 The Dude said...

p.s. – that Eurobag is really quite Eurotic.

12:15 am December, 13 schlicht bindenburger said...

holy that was epic…….i gotz high half way through and went WTF jus happned!

4:19 am December, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Very cogent, Rev. Your indictment of Europe’s ironic self importance while they slide into irrelevance should be a lesson to team North America because they are rapidly approaching the top of the slide. Yes, my Mandarin lessons are coming along nicely, thanks for asking.

7:35 am December, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Melville quote referenced in the Rev’s brilliant soliloquy adorns a t-shirt I wear when I go to Starbucks to deposit a post-Indian food crap in its under-sized bathroom, and not flush it.

4:04 pm December, 13 Billy The Scrote said...

Son of Gator!?

Leave a Reply