Saturday, March 19, 2005

Friday Haiku

hoverbagHe’s Nostril-DumbAss;
Can he predict the future
Of these young ladies…?

*******
It’s a 3-way this week…which is more than NostrilDumbAss could muster that night.
*******

The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
Quartasian Triad
Prepare Monkey Holes for the
Neckbeard Convention.

hermit said…
ISIS soldier stands
sixty-seven virgins short
At the gates of hell

DoucheyWallnuts said…
Despite the Wacky Eye
Middle Bleeth gives me renoB
Sapphic embrace helps

 

 

The Dude said…
Three toss offs from the
Kardashian lab are loose
for halloween prowl

Ed Hardy Har Har said…
How do calves that small
keep white skirt Bleeth’s phenom ass
upright off the ground?

DoucheyWallnuts said…
Hairless Quims await
Impending Meat Curtain fest
Waldouche has no shot

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…
“I am relevant!”
shouts Hakeem over techno
beat. No one else cares.

Vin Douchal said…
Jaleel photobombs
Next, security’s tasers
And zip-tied perp walk
^**honorable fuccen mention**

The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
White skirt hott’s feet so
Small she can’t stand still. Grabs friend
To stabilize tits.

hermit said…
Dude had his last bath
When mama’s water broke
He’s still sticky, Son(s)

Capt. James T. Douche said…
Bottle rats are paid
To pose while Douche McCracken
Poses nostril hairs

Wheezer said…
Predict his future:
He ain’t touchin’ those boo-tays
…..and neither am I.

# posted by admin
2:53 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

“Yo…I smell London,
I smell France, I smell Febreeze
In your pants…S’up, Gurrl?”

2:54 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

There stands Mustapha,
Staring down his nose at them…
Needs a telescope.

2:56 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

Olfactory perv
Who circles the nightclub,
Huffing underskirts

2:57 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

It’s almost Christmas;
Getting in the spirit is
Mannheim SteamHuffer

2:58 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

Eyes darting around,
Nervously wanders the club:
Estrogen Addict.

3:00 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

“Just follow your nose”,
Says Fruit Loops shill Toucan Sam,
“To tight-skirted ho’s…”

3:01 am October, 10 DarkSock said...

DarkSock wastes his time
Posting these Friday Haikus
In 2005…

5:29 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Quartasian Triad
Prepare Monkey Holes for the
Neckbeard Convention.

5:31 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Waste not time you must.
Entertained we are. Yoda
Monkey Hole must touch.

5:34 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wake up early….. Get
Stoned….. Do Haiku again….. Sweet fuck
Look st those spinners.

5:41 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I would fuck them in
A truck. I would fuck them with
A duck. Chop them Up.

5:42 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Stooooned.

5:56 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Herrrmann finds last piece
Of Rev Chad’s sixsome dream
Other two waiting http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21k4xd_remy-lacroix-lexi-belle-hula-hoop-fun_redband

10:04 am October, 10 hermit said...

The Russian mystic
Called “Pencil-Necked Rasputin”
Smells like cheap vödkä

10:46 am October, 10 The Dude said...

Three toss offs from the
Kardashian lab are loose
for halloween prowl

11:25 am October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Despite the Wacky Eye
Middle Bleeth gives me renoB
Sapphic embrace helps

11:43 am October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Three Bleeths walk in club
Barkeep asks, “Would you like drinks?”
Bleeths, “We’re here to pose.”

11:47 am October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

White skirt Eurasian
Offers up her top shelf Pear
Top shelf Pear, I says

11:53 am October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Knock, knock. Who is there?
Three hot Bleeths. Three hot Bleeths who?
Just buy our drinks, Douche

12:00 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Quadroon on the left
Enjoys, “Dogs in the Bathtub”
And “Cajun Hot Stick”

12:04 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“The Bearded Hipster”
Isn’t a sexual move
It’s that douche right there

12:05 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’d be macking Bleeths
Not photo bombing, but then
I’m not a Douchebag

12:19 pm October, 10 Charles Douchewin said...

What’s black and white and
Lez all over? Who can care?
Because: A-List Pear!

12:44 pm October, 10 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

How do calves that small
keep white skirt Bleeth’s phenom ass
upright off the ground?

12:47 pm October, 10 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Andrew Luck peers out
over Bleeth defensive line
No score for Goober!

12:58 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Hairless Quims await
Impending Meat Curtain fest
Waldouche has no shot

1:54 pm October, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I am relevant!”
shouts Hakeem over techno
beat. No one else cares.

3:23 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Vegas escort deals
All mention “Girls Escorted”
This dude’s seen some shit

3:24 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

That babe on the right
Once banged a chick looked like that
Nah, no I haven’t

3:26 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Jaleel photobombs
Next, security’s tasers
And zip-tied perp walk

3:30 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Tonight’s club contest
Sarah Shahi Look-a-Like
Me thinks we all win

3:34 pm October, 10 The Dude said...

Hark! The squishy squeek
Of bleethy thunder thighs comes
When they hit thirty.

3:35 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

ALALL ALALLA!
ALA ALA ALALA
I WILL KEEL YOU ALL !

3:42 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kim Jung Il’s hairpiece
Found on hipster chin. Girls say me
No bang Mustapha.

3:45 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

White skirt hott’s feet so
Small she can’t stand still. Grabs friend
To stabilize tits.

5:12 pm October, 10 hermit said...

Dude had his last bath
When mama’s water broke
He’s still sticky, Son(s)

5:17 pm October, 10 hermit said...

Some folks snort cocaine
Through crisp hundred dollar bills
This dude snorts whole grains

5:19 pm October, 10 hermit said...

ISIS soldier stands
sixty-seven virgins short
At the gates of hell

5:50 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bigger calf muscles
Needed to support the Pear
Or else she will fall

5:54 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“You are decadent,”
Shouts the mullah over the
Din of the party
.
“Alllahu Akbar
Motherfuckers,” or some shit
Screams Ahkmed in back

5:56 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Play the race card
Now that pertinent Bleeth jokes
Have been offered up

6:03 pm October, 10 Dickie Fingers said...

Giggle hotts think he
is Taliban or ISIS
he’s just really slow.

6:05 pm October, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

ISIS hotts show off
their latest trophy in club. Too
bad it’s this dorks head.

6:28 pm October, 10 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Monkey can’t decide
which hole. Asses like ball under
cup. Which one to pick????????

6:51 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d pay two grand if
I could have foursome and get
To chop off his head.

6:54 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His neck grew times two
Since the gyroscope was put
In their Monkey Holes.

7:43 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bottle rats are paid
To pose while Douche McCracken
Poses nostril hairs

7:44 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bottle rats queef in
Morse code while he remains a
Illiterate tool

7:45 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

^an

*Irony

7:53 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Neckbeard foreshadows
What’s lurking beneath short skirts
Muffs of a feather.

7:57 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Faux Kardouchians
Troll for peen and free drinks while
He cleans crabs from beard

7:58 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Their menses are synched
Bummer for you neckbeard as
If you had a chance.

8:02 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The Bleeths smell like booze
And paternal shame while his
Beard just smells like ass.

8:29 pm October, 10 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Wouldn’t the threat of
takedown lawsuit from these three
make all of our days!

8:38 pm October, 10 Dickie Fingers said...

Smiles left their faces
they slowly turned and shouted
“Beard just smells like ass”

9:09 pm October, 10 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

We so horny we
love you long time. Will cost this
beard-douche a year’s pay

9:52 pm October, 10 hermit said...

Cpt. James T. @ 7:45 FT the self-deprecating W.

3:26 am October, 11 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

What, three Asian broads
and not a single lady
boy / tranny reference ?

10:32 am October, 11 hermit said...

When this fellow hears
Pakistani techno-rap
His cobra neck swells

10:34 am October, 11 hermit said...

This dude’s dick gets hard
At the smell of goat urine
Pavlovian, Son(s)

1:38 pm October, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Why don’t we all dress
in black and white and pick up
Some guys?” ..”Awesome sauce.”

1:40 pm October, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“I will take my long
Neck and go out looking for
Asians.”…..”Ahula ….;”

7:54 pm October, 11 hermit said...

By the power vested in me, by absolutely no one, I hereby declare the Haiku portion of this post over.
.
That being said, I’d belly crawl through blood puddles in a Liberian ebola death camp for a brief whiff of White Top’s undercarriage.

7:59 pm October, 11 hermit said...

Dude’s freakish neck length
Would make giraffes and E.T.
Green with envy, Son(s)

10:56 pm October, 11 Wheezer said...

Predict his future:
He ain’t touchin’ those boo-tays
…..and neither am I.

10:36 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ebola Nurse has a
Nice Quartasian thing going on.
I’d hit it..Later.

11:17 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

FEMA camps in parts
Unknown filled with walking ghouls.
Soylent Green is good.

11:17 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Militias to be
Called from Missouri to fight
Obama tyranny.

11:18 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nancy Snyderman
Spreads germs about Manhattan.
Entitled liberals.

12:54 pm October, 14 hermit said...

Rev, your input is needed at The Mothership.

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