Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Militia Max and Carly

Militia Max demonstrates his military readiness and understanding of the horrors of war the only way he knows how.

With a $425 dollar designer t-shirt.

And a gadget watch he saw once in an old episode of “I Spy.” Because that’s how Militia Max rolls.

Carly thinks Max’s beefy arms are “rad!” and “cute!” She just wishes she hadn’t rolled over that dead sparrow in the VIP room.

# posted by douchebag1
11:47 am April, 21 Wheezer said...

That’s “Kitchenbag’s” poofy-bellied cutie.

11:51 am April, 21 Wheezer said...

Hell, is this even Kitchenbag as well, perhaps after a better night of sleep?

12:01 pm April, 21 Vin Douchal said...

They don’t quite look like the originals, but the Jersey Shore exhibit at the Hoboken Wax Museum is a huge attraction…

And remember folks , you can’t spell Hoboken without “HOBO” !

12:05 pm April, 21 Deltus said...

I would eat that dead sparrow off her dress while she was wearing it.

Don’t judge me.

12:10 pm April, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

Jed made me convulse again. Mrs. Kroeger is letting me combine my meds with Tequila today. She doesn’t want the kids seeing me in this state after school. I have to steady my nerves before I throw my fucking laptop at someone who’s dog is shitting on my lawn, even if they clean it up.. And Stackhouse wouldn’t last 10 seconds with me if he exists. I fights dirty with a wrist wired hammer tacker. The big fucks go down like Stacks of potatoes. Like 99% percent of unarmed cops and bouncers, just swole and slow.

I better get back to work. No more Jed please!

12:10 pm April, 21 Soy Bomb said...

Ahhh…back to the basics. A semi-bleethed cutie and a straight-ahead, no BS, full blown douchebag.

.

.

.

.

Nice glasses, tool.

12:12 pm April, 21 Bagnonymous said...

Dammit, Wheez! You crazy savant! I was about to chime in that we’ve seen her before.. in a kitchen.. questionably pregnant. (And then I was gonna ask you to hunt her down and hotlink her, of course.) Jesus, you’re faster than a fifteen-year-old-boy playing “don’t eat the cookie.”

12:12 pm April, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

And I would eat he neatly shaved sparrow as well after dining on balleen’s avatar and rolling rock.

12:14 pm April, 21 jonezy said...

that belt used to fit snuggly over her belly before she got her butt peed in.

.

now it must rest atop

12:22 pm April, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

Her head is so empty that all she knows is that on occasion she sees herself in shiny things. Like this stupid dudes forehead. And she has a spastic colon which is as yet undiagnosed. By undiagnosed I mean I would check her with my anal probe.

If he is active in the military I wish him the best from Canada

12:29 pm April, 21 Mr. White said...

It’s too bad that she replaced her original face with a plastic injection-molded mask, buffed to a high sheen with turtle wax.

It’s too bad the bullets on his t-shirt aren’t turned 90 degrees and embedded in his chest.

12:33 pm April, 21 Crucial Head said...

Meanwhile, in the background, Buffalo Beast and a fellow patron telepathically sparred on the moral properties of euthanasia.

12:38 pm April, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Uh, Carly? You’ve got something that looks like vomit staining your dress.

.

Oh wait, sorry. That’s your self esteem.

12:46 pm April, 21 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

I would floss with Rosie O’Donnells G-string just for the chance to rub a picture of my 13 year old self up against Carly’s sexy poofy-belly.

.

After I disposed of the carcass on her hip.

1:04 pm April, 21 The_Postdouchster_General said...

First off who wears a 400+$ tee?!

Second, don’t make fun of Militia Max! He just got off a tour from the Avatar Planet, surviving the onslaught of tall blue primitives thro pure grit…and by pure grit i mean pure doucheosity!

HA! Doucheosity!

1:21 pm April, 21 Barack O'Bagga and The Audacity of Scrote said...

@Crucial Head is secretly the lead singer of Die Antwoord.

1:21 pm April, 21 clam fist said...

Love the pooch belly on a hott.

1:35 pm April, 21 End the Haberdouchery said...

Those guido sunglasses just scream “I’m classy, and definitely don’t have chlamydia.”

1:47 pm April, 21 Bagnonymous said...

Ahh yes.. just keep them pictures of hotts with big foreheads a-comin’, boss!

1:49 pm April, 21 Crucial Head said...

@Barack,

I am indeed a Master Shinobi. My ninja name is Poon-Tang Ichi Lips. And I fart like a butterfly and make you sting when you pee.

2:20 pm April, 21 massengill said...

I am sure this chick has been on her before, maybe even with the same dude. They were in a shitty apartment and the commentary was rife with speculation about pregnancy due to her “pooch.”

2:45 pm April, 21 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

A belt of ammo across my Hanes Beefy T will make the skanks swoon, MAAAAAA where is the Sharpie

3:12 pm April, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

Fantastic use of testosterone and growth hormone injections. Also, I think the watch is a more recent vintage as it looks like it’s from Ben 10, the kid cartoon.

http://images.bidorbuy.co.za/user_images/807/38741XX3Pi8gjL.jpg

3:20 pm April, 21 DarkSock said...

That’s a tire track where he ran himself over on the way to the Club.

Why is she wearing a fleshtone Guy Fawkes mask with the ‘stache rubbed off?

3:22 pm April, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The. Bullets. Are. Fuccen. Sparkly. I’ll bet he has fuccen Twilight posters all over his room at home.

4:25 pm April, 21 massengill said...

That’s supposed to be a bandolier? I though it was an inaccurate representation of piano keys.

4:26 pm April, 21 massengill said...

*Looks at big-ass watch*

In a moment…it will be…the future.

5:06 pm April, 21 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

Militia Max and Flex Luthor share tastes in inadvisable (and no less douchie) combat gear.

7:38 pm April, 21 Steve L. said...

hey i thought designer t-shirts only go up to $300.

now my faith in humanity has reached a new low.

9:37 pm April, 21 ehcuodouche said...

I’m way late to the party of we saw this deformed couple before.

10:33 pm April, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

Dammit, Massengill, I too thought of piano keys upon spying this shirt… just the black ones.

Or 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

6:02 am April, 22 mr.reeve said...

How does this blown up Guido wipe his ass? “Me arms are big!” Short skirt Guido lover looks delicious to me.

6:39 am April, 22 Scotediddilyumptious said...

That is FOR SURE the same chica but thats not Kitchen Bag, must be playin who’s the daddy? I want to enter! Literally.

11:15 am April, 22 boatbutter said...

He must’ve done this to get that pattern on his shirt.

NSFW link!!

4:23 pm April, 22 Mouse said...

haha isnt that snooki’s boyfriend??

10:03 am April, 29 Anonymous said...

Its is snooki boyfriend or exboyfriend with that ultra trendy g shock watch

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