Monday, May 3, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

Three punk-ass beyoches hitting on gropey hotts enter. Only one may win (lose) the HCwDB of the Week.

Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Sperm Edwards and Trish

Appearing in Friday’s Thoughts and Links, Sperm Edwards may have appeared on the site before, as those sperm tatts haunt me like an undercooked pork burrito.

But regardless, this preening doucheclown deserves additional mock possibilities in the Weekly. And so we mock his sorry ass.

Trish sings the praises of cleanly clean chewable clean.

I would lick uponst her doilies at her Grandma’s house while she was out cleaning up after her scotch terrier took a poo on the front lawn.

Her laughter is melodic and mellifluous.

His face is soporific and superfluous.

But are they enough to win the Weekly? And don’t forget, high school readers, the S.A.T. retests are this week.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Old Bernie Schwartz and Kendra

Our second Weekly Finalist to arrive later in the week on the site, Old Bernie appeared as our Saturday post.

It’s rare for a Saturday Oldbag to make the Weekly, but Bernie’s ridic tri-vag chin pubes and sad saggy attempt to cling to the youth market is just too annoying not to deserve collective ridicule.

And Kendra. Yea, oh how I fondle thee.

We’ve had many Kendras appear in douche pics here at HCwDB. But this Kendra is as ivory snow 99 44/100% clean as Trish above. I would wash both softly in an old oak bathroom, and my face would have a lilt of poetic sadness, as if we were in a Vermeer painting.

But oh, that .66/100% dirrty is too juicy not to impeach Kendra’s peaches for dereliction of boobie.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Jack Skullington and Kaylie

Sure Jack’s appeared in the site years ago. But I’m instituting a new rule. If a classic HCwDB douche shows up again hitting on a new hott, and enough time’s past, they’re like new. Re-bro-n, if you will.

Kaylie is naughtier than the other hot chicks in contention this week.

And that’s both a good and a bad thing, depending on how you want your vote to go.

Skullington is classic West Coast Inland Empire shoe scrape. And for that, he deserves mock.

But enough to win the Weekly?

(Dis)honorable mention to Mr. Fromage, who was a little too absurdist to nominate, Danny Who Got Away With It, Dorothy and Toto Poo, and The Minibra, who just wants some more tasty cola beverages, bro.

Now it’s your time.

Which of these three couples is so hottie/douchey in cohabit that we should note them as our Weekly winner?

I need your help. If you don’t wanna vote as an anon, create a profile on the site.

Then vote, as always, in the comments thread to this post.

# posted by douchebag1
7:06 am May, 3 melvil duchi said...

Bernie and Kendra

Members Only – Get Some!

7:21 am May, 3 bigphatnotadouche said...

Sperm Edwards and Trish – bad tats and norwegian blonde Hott.

Get some.

7:29 am May, 3 RAPETIME said...

Trish and Kendra are the same chick.

My vote goes to Old Bernie, and I’m hoping he wins, because from the looks of him this would be the only thing he has ever won in his life.

7:36 am May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

I think an Aristotelian explanation of the philosophy of douche signifiers is in order this week. Mandana’s = hat tilt. Shiny jacket=tat sleeve x 2. Hand signs=bar bracelet=wrist stap. Sperm isn’t trying too hard. Oldbag is trying way too hard. Skullington is already a known nazi douchebag.Blonde=Blonde>dirty brunette.

Bernie Schwarts chin pubes and age inappropriate behavior make him a tragic hero. As Aristotle spoke of Bernie in Poetics.He is poo.

7:42 am May, 3 boatbutter said...

Bernie. As he gets older, the high school girls stay the same age.

7:47 am May, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Ol’ Bernie FTW. Got to show guys my age some…ummm…hate as he attempts to paw sweet, sweet Kendra.

7:48 am May, 3 mr.reeve said...

#2 80’s-Bag is the winner. He’s so bad he’s good. Bad 80’s jacket, way too hot blonde on his arm and mandana. I wonder if he’s wearing white pants too???? You know what they say about white pants…….

7:49 am May, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

I vote for Bernie. Justin Timberlake aged like fine wine. Joey Fatone apparently aged like mayonnaise in the sun.

7:57 am May, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Bernie for the win. If you put the effort into making a coat out of your own sperm you’d look that pruney too.

8:03 am May, 3 Claude Douchenburg said...

Skullington and Kaylie hands down the winners. Though Trish and Kendra are def hotz, pure as a new fallen snow. And though Sperm and Schwartz are certainly baggy their baggyness does not go all the way to the soul as does Skullington’s. Skullington went to the crossroads and never looked back. His doucebagness, like his tats, will never go away, only fade. But Kaylie, OMG Kaylie, push away, push away the Jackdouche, break his weak embrace and come to me.

8:16 am May, 3 Douchesquire said...

OBS and Kendra. For the Members Only jacket alone, he should win. Add the mandanna and trifurcated chin pubes, there can be no other choice.

Kendra is very pretty, even with the big arms. She could probably be persuaded to do the thing that your girlfrined wont.

8:31 am May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

DB1 has a thing for Tiger’s wife lately. And by lately I mean he has a boner.

8:39 am May, 3 Douche Springsteen said...

Old Bernie is pretty bad, because there’s definitely something to be said for aging gracefully, but my vote goes to Jack Skullington & Kendra this week. Perhaps my predilection towards brunette suckle-thigh has swayed my vote but my favorite thing about this picture is how it looks like it’s a scene backstage at a Motley Crüe show at the Nebraska State Fair and ol’ Jack is a roadie who is trying to mug the backstage hotts and her palms out gesture says “Back off, bud, I’m holding out for Tommy Lee”.

8:40 am May, 3 Douche Springsteen said...

err yeah I meant Jack & Kaylie, not Kendra. The combination of the repeated initial consonant sound and it being before noon on Monday means that I’m easily confused. Also, boobs.

8:44 am May, 3 Scroberto Baggio said...

Old Bernie Schwartz. Although I sincerely hope, that it’s just Dustin Hoffman using method acting to portray the most sad and tragic onscreen character of his career.

8:47 am May, 3 E-blo's Last Thought said...

Trish actually wants to be with her ‘bag. The other 2 broads look like they’re mocking or trying to escape.

.

As for the dudes; the guy’s tag is “sperm.” He has a money-shot tattooed onto his arm. Using the skills learned in the Jeff Ireland behavioral interviewing school, his future employer – The Dollar Store – may ask:

(…)”why the obsession with male ejaculate?”

.

To which “sperm” will answer – “Um, I didn’t know this job worked with mail. Is that like, uh, a requirement?”

.

And then our taxes will continue to pay for his “lifestyle.”

.

Sperm and Trish for the strain they put on my paycheck and psyche for the remainder of the day.

8:52 am May, 3 gooliano said...

At first i was thinking bernie, but after noting the Mercedes Benz tatty on skullingtons arm, he wins hands down!

8:52 am May, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Sperm Edwards and Trish, for sure. Trish is completely adorable–I wish she’d hug me like that. (Though I’d have to turn to the side a little bit so she wouldn’t feel my stiffy rumbling about.) Meanwhile, Spermy-E is infected with all sorts of smug baseball-bat-to-the-face clownishness. We must make sure that the smegma-tadpoles swimming up his arm die a fiery, yet disinfecting, death before being unleashed upon sweet, porcelain Trish.

9:16 am May, 3 Baleen said...

Bernie FTW, because oldbags never dies they just douche away. Of course, anyone with the balls to don a Hazmat jacket in the club deserves at least a bitch slap an so goes my vote.

9:20 am May, 3 Baleen said...

^ (“die” and then comma.) Shit and I was an Enlgish major.

^ “and”

9:23 am May, 3 Baleen said...

aw fuckit

9:33 am May, 3 mr.reeve said...

Uh oh! Anyone see the new Kobe Bryant pictures?

9:41 am May, 3 dogboy said...

If anyone deserves a kick in the nutsack and a brick to the face, it’s Jack Skullington. What an asshole.

I’d spend ten years in a monastery with a cilice and daily flogging for a chance to nibble meekly on her shoulder.

9:54 am May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

Upon review, a megadouche for Bernie. That is my high school’s token Jew. Fail Braunstein. He was our team trainer (waterboy). He did well with the hotts after his dad bought him a nightclub.

9:58 am May, 3 Tits McGee said...

Rapetime is correct… there is a dupe in the weekly. Kaylie isn’t hot, her eyebrows are merely well-drawn. Thus, the vote must go to the douchepocket.

Bernie and Jack have the same mandana, but Sperm and Bernie have the same gesture. So many taintstain qualities are wafting around, I almost feel as though I need to punch an Israeli and steal his gas mask just to navigate this weekly. ‘Stead I’ll just punch Jack and be done with it.

“…dereliction of boobie.” Nice one, DB1.

Jackoff Scrapington FTW.

10:03 am May, 3 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr Reeve

The NBA sucks. Anyone that spends more than 10 seconds a day pondering this ultimate trash sport and the shitty referees that have ruined this once graceful game of humble atheletes with true skills is a moron. Or a recent (within 5 years) immigrant to the Los Angeles area. Fuck the NBA with Fish Slap’s cocck

My mood = dark

Jack Skullington is indeed I.E. crud. I’m sure I’ve seen him at the WalMart, spider tattoo elbow hanging out of the window , aggressively jamming his hopped up pick-up over speed bumps just to see the perturbed looks on the face of Soccer Moms and little girls. He’s a legend in his own mind and he thinks his 4″ cocckk grew a 1/4 inch after memorizing the lyrics to the latest Lil Wayne cd. Truly a douchebag but the hott is “average to Meh”

Sperm Edwards shows me nothing.

Old Bernie Schwartz and Kendra? Now we’re talking. Hollywood Hills Hott that melts with her smile and Bernie the tool.

Facial hair doesn’t sprout out like this on it’s own. It must be conceptualized by a shameless puff with little regard or awareness of how ri-goddamndiculous he looks. And it’s ri-goddamndiculous make no mistake about it

Old Bernie Schwartz and Kendra? FTW and we all lose

10:15 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

So ol’ Jack Skullington things he can mount a new horse and just ride back into Bagtown like he owns the place, eh? Well I think NOT.

Please join me; let’s help Jack off his horse.

.

Wait…that sounded bad…

.

.

Skullington FTW; 2nd time’s a charm. And by Charm I mean Chewing George Lucas’s Chocolate.

10:17 am May, 3 Deltus said...

Jack and Kaylie win it this week, for me. His is the most punch-worthy face, and she is the hottest hott. Christ, the things I would let her do to me, you have no idea…

Jack and Kaylie FTW.

10:23 am May, 3 dbBen said...

Jack Skullington

Anger and insolence for the sake of the spectacle is among the core values of douchedom. Jack nails this in spades. His formerly faux anger morphed into reality for him, and has manifest itself into a contempt for all around him including hotts. This compensatory intimidation built up purely for control is akin to, albeit in miniscule fashion, Taliban attacks on schools.

And because he cheated on that nice Sandra Bullock girl.

10:40 am May, 3 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Sperm Edwards is the classic, prototypical, unvarnished Douchebag, no doubt…BUT

Jack Skullington is twice the bag and, unless appearances lie, twice as stupid. Which is always a nice plus. And Kaylie has that “come hither and do nasty things to me” look that is hard to ignore. The full mandana framing cro magnon low forehead sort of round it out for a piece de la resistence. Jack Skullington, Jack!

10:41 am May, 3 Douchble Helix said...

Dustin Hoffman for his accomplishments in that hit comedy ‘Putzie’.

.

And don’t anyone of you assholes call me a nerd, but his Kendra can only be .56% dirty. It’s this thing called ‘Math’. That’s nearly 20% less dirty than originally believed. Still, I’d be happy to tell you one day that she had the whitest teeth I’d ever come across.

.

‘Sperm Edwards’, however, is probably the best name I’ve ever read here.

10:48 am May, 3 Crucial Head said...

We should call this The Groundhog Weekly.

Sperm Edwards was here before. He was The Fig, from 06/04/08… not long after I first started ‘baghunting here. I’ve been in Chile since last Wednesday, so maybe Wheezer already beat me to that tag. Since it’s the same pic with the same hott, I’ll pass on voting for them.

Jack Skullington’s been on here before as well, but at least had the decent sense to show up with a new semi-hott.

I refuse to give an Old Bag a weekly. I love the Old Bags.

So, I’ll vote for Jack. No witty comments attached. I left my wit in Santiago: buried beneath bent steel, twisted rebar, and cracked foundations.

10:54 am May, 3 Left 4 Douche said...

Your math is a bit off, but regardless, my vote goes to Jack Skullington

10:57 am May, 3 Anonymous said...

Sperm FTW – the others are like comparing Gennifer Flowers to Monica Lewinsky – close but no cigar.

10:59 am May, 3 Douche Dastardly said...

@ Vin

Thanks for that link that made my day.

.

On to the hunt. I have to go with Bernie. Some are born douche some achieve doucheness and then there are those that regress back to douche. From grown man to poo. Bernie was your average man with a mortgage once. But that all changed the day he put on that first Ed Hardy shirt and transformed himself into the wrinkly poo before us now. Designer jeans masking old balls… Sigh

.

Bernie my friend we sympathize with your desire to touch the flame of the boobie suckle, but not like this; not like this. This is not your path. There is still time, but you must act soon. No shiny jacket /mandana combo will protect you from our mock.

For our mock is the word.

.I hope for your sake that you return to that house, to that life; utter the words that once seemed empty and routine “Honey, I’m home.” and be reborn. So this momentary lapse of bagness can be all just a bad dream.

I hope this for you Bernie because you can hide from you family and responsibility…

But you cannot hide from our mock.

.

Peace be with you, you mothball smelling, colon blowing douche fart.

11:00 am May, 3 Douche Dastardly said...

In case there was any confusion in my rant.

Bernie FTW

11:08 am May, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Bernie’s expertise with Sharpie facial hair FTW. I imagine that Kendra smells of lilacs and fabric softener. Mmmmm… Now I wanna skull fuck the Snuggle Bear.

11:12 am May, 3 Architeuthis Dux said...

Dorothy and Toto Poo should have at least been in the running. Egad. However, Bernie and Kendra illustrate the ultimate dichotomy in age, physical appeal, and ability to incite my desire to engage in one or more of the seven deadly sins.

11:28 am May, 3 Cleopatra said...

Old Bernie Schwartz for the win. For one reason only — he is way old enough to know better, and yet …

11:29 am May, 3 Cleopatra said...

… there he is.

11:43 am May, 3 scrotum pole said...

I hate to pass judgement on a guy I don’t even know.

I don’t Know Jack, but I know a jackass when I see one.

Jack Skullington and Kaylie FTW.

11:54 am May, 3 colossus of choads said...

Gotta be Sperm. 2 charity bands??? Asshole.

11:55 am May, 3 Düsseldouche said...

when i don´t know better, i just vote for the hottest hott

so KAYLIE ftw

12:24 pm May, 3 Doo Schnozzle said...

The Sperminator.

http://www.flash-games.net/online/4176/sperminator.html

12:27 pm May, 3 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Bernie and Kendra

there will be no Weekend at Bernies II for Kendra

12:31 pm May, 3 Scrote Douche-N-Harmony said...

Sperm Edwards and Trish take this one, best explained in a stat line of Douche Pose Avg./Gear and Tats on Douche Pct./Hott Hotness Plus Evident Love of the Douche

Sperm and Trish are hitting: .354 / .440 / 1.015

12:41 pm May, 3 Father Guido Sardouchey said...

Tough choice this week. Jack is most assuredly a more disgusting ‘bag than Sperm, but Kaylie doesn’t appeal to me quite as much as Trish. My choice for hottest hott this week was Mr. Fromage’s Kim, but they’re not even on the ballot. Bernie’s a distant third.

Screw it. Jack for the weekly, and Kim for poetry readings, Korean barbeque, and 237 seconds of embarassing fumblings in the back of a Hyundai.

1:09 pm May, 3 bizarrodouche said...

Bernie. That thing on his chin is scary.

1:11 pm May, 3 Southern Scrotic said...

Kaylie and Jack FTW.

I likey naughty.

1:19 pm May, 3 Peter Ilyich Doucheovsky said...

I’m tempted to vote for Jack and make some lame Jesse James look-alike joke, but my vote must be for Bernie. Seriously, Bern? A Paisley mandana? And what the Hell is up with the zippers everywhere? In the words of Senor Chang from “Community,”

“Dude, even I know you’re lame – and I’m a tenured professor sitting in a bean bag chair.”

1:23 pm May, 3 Sir Harry S. Flashdouche said...

Jake Skullinton.

1:30 pm May, 3 ehcuodouche said...

I’m voting for Bernie because his hott is the most in focus. And the jacket makes me crack up. I bet you could hit it with a baseball bat and it would shatter the bat. Much more the reason to aim for the head.

And the lack of a viewable shirt, from which it may be deduced that he may be wearing the jacket in direct contact with his skin gives me a creepy sensation that cannot be described or washed clean.

1:36 pm May, 3 Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach said...

I’d like to use this picture of Jack in a PSA about the dangers of methamphetamine. Kaylie is quality dirty suckle, the kind that makes you dramatically revise downward your own personal freakiness. Unfortunately, this photo would probably sway some adventurous kiddies to try out some meth, in hopes of drawing a hott like her. I think all I can do in good conscience, is vote Jack and Kaylie for HCwDBoTW.

1:45 pm May, 3 doucheywallnuts said...

Bernie Schwartz. When in doubt go with the douchebag wearing the Members Only jacket. But Bernie is much more than a one-trick douchebag, with his Mannydanna, jacket, chin strap/anchor facial hair he is as douche as douche can get. And Kendra is bleethy goodness that helps Old B S earn the win.

2:08 pm May, 3 justadouchalo said...

Jack Skullington and Kaylie ftw. ~Note to self: Insert something clever here perhaps suggest hitting Jack in his mouth/face/heart with tire iron/bat/hay bale hook. Comment on how ”naughty’ Kaylie looks~

Get some.

2:42 pm May, 3 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

The choadface Sperm Edwards gets my vote

An exemplary example of douchely scrote

With that kissy lips face, Ed’s not lacking of charm

How could he not be with sperm tats on his arm?

2:51 pm May, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jack Skullington and Kaylie FTW! Why? He is a mish-mash of cliches. Mercedes Benz and Iron Cross tatts show his softer “Final Solution” side while the mandana says “Don’t fuck with me bro. That is once I find you.” And the leather wirstbands are just the coup de grace’. Her face screams ” I NO WANT! I can haz overdose of heroin now so douche let me go?”

2:59 pm May, 3 G said...

Gotta go with ol’ Bernie. He should know better at his age, and by his age, I mean that he is an old douchebag.

3:06 pm May, 3 jonezy said...

‘Ol Bernie and Kendra, aka the Essence of HCwDB.com

3:31 pm May, 3 Justin said...

I’m goin’ with Jack Skully this time. His hott is just the right kind of skanky purdy bitchiness to get me excited. I’m not sure if that’s eyeliner on Skully’s face, but it looks like it enough to piss me off. His sneer is also very punchable.

Skully/Kaylie all the way.

4:07 pm May, 3 Mr. Bagoo said...

Jack Skullington and Kaylie FTW.

Him for simply (and intentionally) looking like a guy who would cheat on Sandra Bullock …

… and her for being really good at lookin’ bad.

4:25 pm May, 3 notadouche said...

Old Bernie Schwartz FTW. He is a rare vintage 97 pinot noir of douchebags.

4:26 pm May, 3 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Bernie for the weekly. He looks like a CAA agent on the downhill slope of his carreer, trying desperately to hold on and prove that he is still hip to lure in the young clients. Kendra looks like she just got of the bus into LA from Ames, Iowa the week before. Her sweet-eyed innocence next to his cialis laden desperation is the great dichotomy this week. And it makes me weep.

4:27 pm May, 3 notadouche said...

And by rare I mean a massive tool of douchic proportions. The power of his douche would blast clean the foulest of smelly twats. I’m talking sweaty 20 dollar hooker douche power.

4:34 pm May, 3 Soy Bomb said...

I’m changing it up a little for this week’s vote and am “Hanging my Chad” on the hottest hott. I’m forced to do this because the three choads suck equally. Kendra and Trish both appear to be pure and bleeth-free, eliminating dirty (in a good way) Kaylie, but I’m horny at Kendra’s smile a little bit more. Kendra and her old ‘bag for the weekly!

5:01 pm May, 3 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Are you sure Trish and Kendra aren’t the same person?

Sperm has the most ridiculous tatts of the week (are those paisley tatts?), so lets find an extra-tall spermicidal full body condom and bag this ‘bag.

5:34 pm May, 3 Justin Doucherer said...

Kaylie is too far gone, so she and Jack are out of the running. It leaves the Innocents and their respective mates. While the oldbag has a lot of interesting traits, I have to say that Sperm Edwards is quitessentially douche. Kendra and Trish are both upper echelon, but generically attractive blondes. In close calls like this, we have to judge the composition. Which picture boils the blood more? While we all like to laugh and have fun here, and Old Bernie is easy to laugh at, which picture illustrates the greater evil. Ask youself this, and you’ll note that Kendra’s pose is just that – a pose. An “Okay, I’ll get my picture taken with this old greasy guy wearing a mandana.” They are too close for my comfort, but her right arm rests loosely at her side. Even Bernie, feeling his age, doesn’t think enough of himself to put down his drink and give her a squeeze.

On the other hand, Trish is in full embrace of Sperm Edwards, whose left hand has pulled Trish towards him by the small of her back. Aaaand it’s over. Sperm and Trish FTW.

5:38 pm May, 3 Troy Tempest said...

I vote for Skullington, because I have it on good authority (Manny – the guy at the car wash next to that big prison out in Lancaster) that Skullington has a tatto of a taint ON HIS TAINT. Now, if that don’t beat all. Also his girlfriend is almost as crappy as he is, as her skill at plucking her eyebrows looks about as adroit as her choice in men.

5:51 pm May, 3 Marshal Philippe Petaint said...

Committing to a lifetime of cum stained arm just for the chance to grope at Trish who recently arrived fresh from the midwest to work on her modeling career? That’s Sperm Edwards. Skullington’s arms might be equally fungal but the only thing hot about Kaylie is her mess of STDs. Sperm Edwards and Trish FTW.

6:17 pm May, 3 opie sardonicus said...

Gotta be Old Bernie and Kendra ftw.

Bernie’s geometric spray-on trident of “I can be sold ANYTHING” hair takes one’s focus away from the rest of his pudgy presence. A mixed blessing. And Kendra is fetching in a generic blondy-with-dark-roots bad girl way. But this is Bernie’s show, no mistake. He reeks.

6:43 pm May, 3 Steve L. said...

Sperm Edwards FTT (for the Trish).

okay if Trish isn’t enough, Sperm Edwards will also make you fail your SAT. how’s that?

7:17 pm May, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

The eyes have it, namely theirs: Kate and Jack Skullington FTWeekly. His very presence destroyed her sparkling eyes and smile, but nevertheless she remains a hottie with a body and a ‘tude.His spook stare made The Maltese Cross/Blue Max petition to be removed from his bicep; Mercedes is too frightened by it to make a factory recall; and the mandana, failing to contain his eyeballs ,does singular duty holding his skull together so the brains don’t fall out.

7:19 pm May, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

OOPSIE, I meant Kaylie, not Kate (as in Middleton)..

…must have that girlfriend of Prince William on my mind.

8:11 pm May, 3 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

Old Bernie and Kendra have garnered my vote. It would be a simple matter for OB to ‘step away from the douche’– discard the mandana, erase the middle dribble prong on, and tone down the severity of, the meticulous whisker trident, and to lose the hazmat-motorcyclist-whatever outerwear.

But instead, he embraces it wholeheartedly. Plus, Kendra’s dentition is immaculate

OB and K FTW.

–VS

8:56 pm May, 3 creature said...

members only has always been douchey… one vote for the old jew Bernie & his hott shiksa

10:42 pm May, 3 Bob Mcadouche said...

Sperm Edwards. Dumbest tattoos and hottest hot get the nod. Oh, and dual club entrance wristbands are douchey too.

11:07 pm May, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

Kill ’em all, let the regs sort ’em out. I don’t even know what to say. I’m gonna give it to Bernie. He seems the wrongest of the wrong, the most pathetic of the pathetic, almost deserving my pity, but not enough to not earn my disdain. Bernie FTW and by that I mean Free That Woman.

11:08 pm May, 3 Douches Wild said...

tsk, tsk. All second tier manques. This field reminds me of the old schoolyard conundrum: if you were up to your nostrils in owl shit and someone threw a bucket of dog shit at you, what would you do? Each pretender woefully deficit in his/her own way- A grudging vote for Skullington and Kaylie.

12:20 am May, 4 Dicy said...

I’m going to go with Old Bernie Bag and Kendra. His chin pubes haunt my soul and Kendra is just oh so sweet.

4:06 am May, 4 Douche B4 Dishonor said...

May the Schwartz take the weekly

Bernie ftw

6:10 am May, 4 curbyourendouchiasm said...

Bernie Schwartz because ‘pathetic and old’ is waaaay underrepresented here on HCwDB in the weekly and the monthly. I know there’s representation, but it’s thin, we need to flesh it out, and this greasy tool is a really good way to do that. My man should be at his (grand)kid’s soccer game or something.

10:44 am May, 4 Mr. Biggs said...

Oofah. It’s a close one between sperm and skullington. And btw I’m convinced those are peacock feathers tattooed on sperm’s arm. He’s literally looking like a peacock.

We will have to abandon the rulebooks and go into deeper analysis to find out why sperm edges out skullington. The two hotts seem equally engaged, but Trish beats Kaylie for next door purity of hott. Thus sperm wins for what I call “freshness of taint.” By pulling a much purer hott to engage his stinky peacock smirk, sperm seeps that much deeper into our collective unconscious, and makes us weep with baby Jesus.

11:50 am May, 4 Jimmy said...

Gotta go with Old Bernie and Kendra. She is angelic hottness and he is 40 year old recently divorced douche who just got a new makeover from his gay buddy Bruce

7:43 pm May, 4 CoolHandDouche said...

Bernie’s got my vote. She’s got to be his friend’s daughter or niece or something. She’s just too sweet to say “no” to the photo with drunk old Uncle Bernie. I refuse to believe anything else!

12:05 am May, 5 Wheezer said...

I’ll go with Jack Skullington FTW. Any turd that can keep floating to the top of the bowl deserves an extra flush.

.

.

.

.

And I’d like to watch Kaylie and Kendra wrestle in chocolate pudding. Just had to throw that in there.

12:06 am May, 5 Wheezer said...

Aren’t you all glad I forgot my closing HTML bracket?

.

Where’s the fuccen trash can?

6:45 am May, 5 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Bernie, for the Members Only/Karate Kid mandana combo. And for sweet Kendra.

Bernie FTW

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