Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Night Oranger

Sister Christian

Oh the time has come

And you know that you’re the only one

To say he’s not a douche.

Where you going

What you looking for

You know those ‘bags

Don’t want to tan no more with you

It’s true

You’re scrotering!

What’s your price to flirt

In finding a pud that wears a shirt

You’ll be douchebagged tonight,… because that guy’s a creepy orange shirtless douche in a puka shell necklace…

Drum solo.

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

This boy’s suffering from MSCF:

.

Mandana Skullet Conceal Fail

.

Now get your ass back to work, Lil’ Gallagher. The Tiki Lounge tables aren’t going to bus themselves.

7:12 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Her drawers are pulled up so high she has to fart through her belly piercing.

7:13 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Her drawers are pulled up so high her bikini top doubles as the belt.

7:13 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Her drawers are pulled up so high 80 year old men are making fun of her.

7:15 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

One of the strategies the chain-smoking Maalox chuggers at BP are considering for their oil spill down here is to absorb the slick, which is now larger than Jamaica, with Human Hair. (not making this up…).

If we could wring out Paco’s mane here he’d make a hell of an oil mop.

7:16 am May, 11 Bag A said...

“scrotering”…..Classic!

7:16 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Why are all the comments in italics now? Am I high?

7:22 am May, 11 Wheezer said...

(You Can Still) Scrote in America

7:26 am May, 11 douchebag1 said...

Whoops, had an open italics tag. Fixed it, Mr. Sock. Carry on with 80s references in mocking this orange turd and lusting after Sister C.

.

– management

7:28 am May, 11 Wheezer said...

Damn, I was going to try closing the italics tag in a post. Oh well…..

7:29 am May, 11 Margaret said...

Good Lord Moose Knuckle!!

7:34 am May, 11 Bagnonymous said...

I once had an open italics tag. A couple visits to the dermatologist and some antibiotics kicked that sucker right out!

7:40 am May, 11 Anonymous said...

I never EVER want to see male cameltoe again!

7:40 am May, 11 mr.reeve said...

It’s Dance Fever 2010! Fernando is sporting his greasey mullet, chickdana and gay porn stache while competing on Dancing with the Stars Columbian style with ride high Sister C.

Pass Fernando the Soul Glow he’s losing his shine! Oooooohhhhh yyyeaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!

7:41 am May, 11 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

His drawers are so tight in the crotch he turned orange.

.

He needs a kick in the package with these.

7:47 am May, 11 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

I like her. Despite her wearing gramma’s undies.

7:51 am May, 11 bigphatnotadouche said...

This picture is full of fail. The greasy choad has cameltoe which was previously mentioned, D Sock saw the mandana, I’m wondering if this an ad for Jeri – Curl.

The non hott must be getting a wedgie from the pants and too big plastic belt.

I don’t remember seeing any of this crap in the 80’s.

7:52 am May, 11 Bagnonymous said...

Jesus titty-f*cking Christ, if I wanted to see this much white-spandex-covered man-package I’d have taken my wife to the ballet last Christmas.

7:52 am May, 11 boatbutter said...

Here’s how you torture this greasebucket.

7:53 am May, 11 Wedgie said...

He looks like the illegitimate son of Inigo Montoya and Rosie Perez.

Prepare to die.

7:54 am May, 11 Wedgie said...

His is the lead singer in the Night Ranger tribute band, Rump Ranger.

Now headlining at the fabulous Troubador, San Francisco, CA.

7:55 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Thanks for the fix, Boss.

.

But to be fair, as it turns out I am in fact high this morning. Damned extended release pills.

7:57 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

When he rides a motorcycle without a helmet (which I hope is often) his head looks like a pubic comet.

7:59 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Jake quickly realized that his new career as a Weird Al impersonator was a poontang goldmine.

7:59 am May, 11 scrotum pole said...

Fecal incontinence is on the increase among female twenty-somethings.

A boon for the manufacturers of Depends undergarments.

8:00 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Tony never could explain how the cockk ring wound up around his neck.

8:01 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Tony’s twinkies rode safely in the groin of his spandex, away from the snack thieves.

.

The irony escaped him.

8:02 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Tony managed to wriggle his lower torso into the Magnum condom but with a loud *snap* the base ring detached around his neck.

8:15 am May, 11 scrotum pole said...

Gino noticed a marked improvement scoring with the ladies, after he began placing chicken gizzards in his pants.

8:23 am May, 11 Cheesesock said...

After filming “Adventures of Babysitting,” Elisabeth Shue just couldn’t manage to pull the quality beefcake anymore.

8:36 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

The knuckle of the drumstick that Alejandro stashed in his groinular region allowed him to slot conveniently into his boyfriend’s spine without a saddle when they performed in the Viking Yogurt Rodeo.

8:37 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Ever since releasing Load, Kirk Hammett starting seeing a marked decline in the quality of poon backstage.

8:39 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Her pants are pulled up so high the crotch is in her ovaries.

8:40 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Her pants are pulled up so high you can smell her pantyliner when she burps.

8:45 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

I believe this thing just has two balls and no cockk. That’s like going to battle with bullets but no gun.

8:49 am May, 11 mr.reeve said...

In honor of Fernando’s

greasey mullet .

“Just let yo Soul Glo! Just let it shine on through!”

8:51 am May, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

Her pants are pulled up so high, the pants in his groinal region is too tight. He looks like he’s smuggling a small farm animal in his pants.

And while the universally known Camel Toe is appropo, for males I am particular fond of the less-well-known terms “Melvin” and “Walking the Dinosaur.” And when using Camel Toe to refer to a male, when writing, it should be Ca-male Toe.

8:56 am May, 11 Wheezer said...

@Margaret, 7:29 a.m. –

.

Did you mean “mouse” knuckle?

.

Grieco Suave here looks like he’s been writhing around with Cheeto Man.

9:13 am May, 11 the motley douche said...

Grieco Suave…that’s it, wheezer…way to nail the Girardo ref…I can’t compete, so I won’t even try…

9:14 am May, 11 Claude Douchenburg said...

Screw him but Gull dang it I like her and her high waist.

9:29 am May, 11 massengill said...

Nice bloomers, tootse.

.

I heard about the “hair” cleanup solution via Facebook: my friend’s wife has a dog grooming service and she called out to other groomers and stylists to donate clean animal and human hair to the cause.

.

What? The pelican feathers aren’t enough?

.

I say we all boycott BP. And by “we all” I mean “everybody in the whole fuccen world.” I know, I know: maybe they will be a responsible corporate citizen and make this all better. I say “fuck ’em.” If’n they do resolve the problem, then we can reward them buy purchasing their petrol. Until then, though, my chainsaw is getting filled with gasoline from Exxon Mobil. That’s right, Exxon Mobil: dolphin-safe for almost 20 years.

9:52 am May, 11 boatbutter said...

“Moose knuckle”????…..she wears that huge suit to cover her walrus chin.

9:55 am May, 11 Deltus said...

Her pants are pulled up so high they require buckytube supports.

10:02 am May, 11 Fatness said...

Her pants are pulled up so high she could walk through Nashville and not get ’em wet.

What?

11:24 am May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

That cocckksucker stole my hair. I have an excuse for looking like that. I’m a chick. What a scrote. Anyone who is not female and wears their hair like that is either Kenny G, or a total douchebag. Wait, isn’t that a bit redundant? I, however, do not look like I just sopped uphalf the oil in the gulf with mine. Taker a hint, Grieco Suave (I heart you, Wheeze), and use a hairdryer next time.

.

Otherwise, here’s two examples of Fail Pants. What are the odds?

11:54 am May, 11 Adi said...

What the fuck is up with his hair? It looks like a brillo pad that’s been coated in hot pan drippings. The sparse facial hair and do-rag also make him look like a gay pirate.

12:15 pm May, 11 lupus john baton said...

dancing with the stars, jersey style

12:28 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Who’s lookin’ at his purple-lit side curls? It’s merely a new fascination among the Orthodox Jews, along with the yarmulke-mandana.

He is clearly a pool-guy or handyman of that persuasion. Let’s face it, there’s no circumventing a circumcised boy-toy in tight white spandex. His little knockers are more attention-getting than her pink-covered average Janes.

6:01 am May, 12 Wheezer said...

Thanks Medusa (11:24 a.m.) and the motley douche (9:13 a.m.), but I shoulda known that I weren’t the original originator of Grieco Suave here, natch…..

Eagle-eyed reader Grieco Suave spotted a D.B. car in Minnesota.

12:37 pm May, 12 DB-60 said...

Am I the only one that thinks she’s really really good looking? Once you get past the Jusy Jetson getup she’s gorgeous!

12:37 pm May, 12 DB-60 said...

*judy

3:39 pm May, 12 Steve L. said...

fuck i actually forgot to pay my respects to Sister Christian.

her pants are pulled so high her vagina can crush your penis with 400 MPa of compression force.

and that idea is actually very arousing to me.

6:39 am May, 13 Jessica said...

Why the fuck does that douche have camel toe? !! Really I love this site but it makes my vagina sad every time I come here. What is wrong with woman that they are willing to have anything to do with these dicks?

I just said that and realize I and my exes would fit in this site so I think it may be bad bad bad man choices from the past that haunt me. grrrrr

Here’s to the future and no fat guys with ink and their duffus hand gesturing. Hangs head in shame.

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