HCwDB of the Week
Holiday’s over. Lets do this. It’s an all Pudster/Hott Weekly. Real world choad. Here are your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Andrew’s Bro and Kaitlyn
The first Weekly to be reader tagged in awhile, Andrew’s Bro is all sorts of layabout fratpud.
And his nice assortment of young, fertile Canadian hotts gives him a quality H.C. balance to the wrongness equation.
Witness the run of suburban cheese in Brobag #2. Brobag #3 and Brobag #4.
Andrew’s Bro is the kind who doesn’t worry about the future. And as he was tagged by his younger brother, a rarity in ‘bag tagging, we don’t even have generational disparity to claim a culture gap to excuse his toejammery of posing with the ladies.
Andrew’s Bro is a true wankstabag. And Kaitlyn is all sorts of Canadian accented giggle hott.
But enough to take the weekly? Here’s our next pudster:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Neil Hardy and Marsha Hott
Neil Hardy parties while his parents are out of town at an Insurance Seminar in Aames. Fo’ shniebling, dope.
Later, to prove his hip-hop bonafides to the ladies, Neil Hardy snagged chill nottabrothabag Pete, and Uberhott Heather. Because whatever is in the water in Des Moines is producing serious A-Grade barely legals.
Neil Hardy listens to Run DMC even though he was born well into the 90s. Because retro old school rap is “dope, yo.”
In a related story, Kurtis Blow just castrated himself.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts
The third slot was the toughest to decide on. And by third slot, I mean Kelly gettin’ freaky after too many Mai Tais.
The Breaker Morans are all sorts of Australian war victim period piece Mel Gibson dingo turd.
The Dolla Dolla Bill Yalls offer sweet, perfumed inner thighs that smell like lilacs and sugar plums and scented candle.
Oh Dolla #1. I shall call thee “Foucault” and discuss contested power space. And by contested power space, I mean how far I’ll get to touch after I blow 200 bucks on dinner.
(Dis)honorable mention to The Club Moes, my artistic triumph with the avant-garde masterwork American Typhus, The Vegas crud of Pinky and the Butt, Blu Ray, Suburban Gangsta Darren and the Eurocrud of The Utersladder.
While this isn’t the most pungent week of hottie/douchey partnering, these are all couples that deserve mock. Granted, whomever we pick today is filling the last slot against foes like Brothabag Darren. Still, we got a job to do so lets do it.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Neil Hardy FTW, and Gilligan wants his hat back.
Neil Hardy. Like any member of the proletariat, he is trying the least and yet getting the most. Barely legal indeed. I tip my hat to you, good sir Hardy, by which I mean I fap weakly to the pictures of your 17-year old kegger attendees and then fall down weeping.
First, good news to Baghunters: Heavy Drinkers Outlive Nondrinkers, Study Finds.
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I fuccen knew it.
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I suppose in light of this news I should thank the weekly candidates for lengthening my life.
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He will be crushed like an Amish WomanPlant under the rototiller o’ Fate in the monthly, but for general hanger-on kitchen loitering asshattery I must plug Neal Hardly.
Andrew’s Bro is in a transcendant phase of douche, he’ll grow out of it when Dad makes him start laying bricks. Neil is too young to condemn just for having a party while his parents were swinging for the night.
The Breaker Morans have the Foucault and friends whose pendulums I would like to perform an elementary experiment on. They are also over the top douchebags with the blonde Oriental
Twist and Wang Chung with the face on the right, Breaker Morans for the chin.
@Dark Sock
That was good news indeed. Mrs. Kroeger was forlorn when there was no definition of heavy drinking. I told her it was as much as you can lift. The solo morning kegger has begun.
Morans FTW. That hair, that hair, I went to the mall this weekend with the wife and wanted to punch so many dudes in the face with hairstyles like this. One thing I noticed which made me feel pretty good was that most of them seemed to act gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). So in this case while they are in the extreme close presence of the hotts promised land, I bet they were thinking about getting back to their room at the Motel 6 for a little slap and tickle.
Andy’s Bro FTW. Why? Because he BELIEVES in being a douche.Neil Hardy’s just a junior league asshole, and his girl is pneumatically inclined. The breaker Morons come from money. But Andy’s Bro is just another brick in the wall. He sees douching it up as a way out of his middle class misery. He sees it as fun – the Morons don’t see it at all – they just swim in that realm. And the hardy punk is just useless. So, Andy’s Bro FTW.
Neil Hardy and Marsha Hott FTW. That hat alone gies it to him. What a Tool!!!!
So I never leaned how to spell “gives”. I think I’m the tool
Neil Hardy only owns one set of “cool clothes”. He saved up for 4 months at his Jimmy John’s delivery job to make that happen. He only busts them out on the weekends because his cousin said that washing the Ed Hardy shirts can make the sequins fall off, which is totally not cool.
Fascinating article, Sock. I might live to see 103 after all.
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On to the voting. There are three important reasons why I’m voting for Andrew’s Bro. First, as a lesson to all those who might be blinded to obvious douchery by family ties. Second, the mark of the ‘bag. Thirdly, Kaitlyn. Oh Kaitlyn.
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A’s B and K FTW.
Dolla Hotts FTW. Because Zebra Bikini Hott has a fantastic arse. She is all that is right about HCwDB. She makes mocking these pictures tolerable and worth while.
As for the Moran Twins, they walk the thin line of metro/gaybag on a daily basis. I bet they haven’t even properly appreciated Zebra’s back side. And I bet they HAVE properly appreciated one another’s hair gel and GSR.
None of this week’s ass stain inspire true loathing but perhaps crushing mock of Neal Hardy at a tender age will convince him to change his ways, get that idiot tattoo removed then go on to disappoint his parents like the rest of us with mediocre grades at any of a wide choice of Cal State schools and a soul crushing career in customer service. And Marsha, the daycare closes in 45. Enough time to swing through McD’s in the minivan and get some McNuggets for the brats.
I vote for Kneel’s Heartily.
Neil Hardy ftw because his contributions to society include totaled Hondas and microwaving a mean hot pocket. Another waste of precious oxygen really.
I have to give this one to the Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts. Why? This is the first time I’ve seen the douchebags more bleethed out than the hotts. Their hair is more heavily-styled, their body hair is more meticulously removed, they’re wearing more jewelry, and their sunglasses are bigger. And look at the bulimia-ribs on Moran #2!
That’s right. The “men” in this image are bigger bitches than the bitches.
Neil Hardy FTW. He has it all, hat, shirt, watch, tatt, bleeth and he represents the hope that the current generation will carry the Grieco Virus into the future and provide us with a mock-filled future.
Not much to choose from this week as all contestants are rather underwhelming. I’ll go with Neil Hardy FTW because he’s been infected and I don’t see a cure. Apart from the earrings, chain bling, white watch, and cross tat, what really stands out and seals the deal is his habadouchery leanings. The Ed Hardy nat but that green hat* takes it over the line and what’s disturbing is that it has the word crusher in it. I guess Crushing, Crush etc is part of the lexicon of douche/choad movement.
* Gucci Bucket Crusher hat
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I have to give this one to the Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts. Why? This is the first time I’ve seen the douchebags more bleethed out than the hotts. Their hair is more heavily-styled, their body hair is more meticulously removed, they’re wearing more jewelry, and their sunglasses are bigger. And look at the bulimia-ribs on Moran #2!
That’s right. The “men” in this image are bigger bitches than the bitches.
Andrew’s Bro: He is glistening mark-of-the-bag pudwhackery, with a plaid visor as garnish. Two, possibly three of the girls he’s with are out of his league. His brother reported him. ‘Nuff said.
Zebra bikini’s ass FTW. The rest of the photo can fuckk off and die. Gaybags!
Zebra Hips is HoH , my friends. All these douchebags are equal, Zebra puts her group of ants over the other cock-a-roaches.
The Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts FTW
Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts FTW, in a weak field,on a muddy track….highest Hott:Douchie ratio…nuff said
Morans and Dollas. The Hotts are hot and the Moran’s hair makes me want to hurt them.
Andrew’s BroBag FTW. It’s a close call between him (it?) and Nil Hardy. Both are annoying douchebags, but I feel that Nil Hardy is more of a mother’s-baby-spoiled-bag and that’s easier to ignore and self-absorb-pudwhck Brobag whom I’d like to slap in the face with that piece of plywood soaked in crude oil.
Andrew’s Bro
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I really feel like we can make a difference here. And that difference is killing the corporate branded faux jovialness that the brother of Andrew drinks like a liquid twinkie. Delicious.
Andrew’s Bro FTW. Guy was turned in by his own bro(ther) that tips the scale heavily in my mind.
One of the things I do like about Vegas pool party baggery is it’s safely quarantined. There is no risk of me winding up there, and the douchebags are safely sequestered from infecting any females with potential for good.
So one of the qualities of a true douchebag is his “infectability” – meaning his ability to find glorious unspolied giggle hott and despoil it. Andrew’s bro has it in spades. And the sleazy taint in his eyes reveals true bag zen. Meanwhile, our other contestants are either safely quarantined in Vegas doucheland or are still but baglings playing in a douchebag’s world.
Ayyy!! I say Andy’s Bro, keep it in the family.
The Breaker Morans FTW. Anyone who takes 3 hours to get dressed up for the beach is an auto wank.
Andrew’s Bro and Kaitlyn FTW. Mostly because it seems that he’s trying to reach into my soul and pollute it with Axe.
Upon initial inspection, there’s nothing particularly special about this week’s batch of choads as they are somewhat underwhelming. Which is why I’m voting for Andrew’s Bro for one reason – his own brother is calling him out. This is based more upon potential and/or unseen douchiness, but I imagine the level concern must be high for one to turn on his or her own family. Either there’s unspeakable baggery not documented in the photos provided or Andrew can sense that the Grieco virus has mutated and is taking over at an accelerated rate. Andrew reached out to us because he doesn’t want to be the Michael to his brother’s Fredo, and that’s commendable.
Neil Hardy for the win of course – hanging with hot barely legals looking like a total tool
Breaker morons.
This is a pretty tough Weekly indeed, just like the Boss said yesterday. I’m going to eliminate Neil Hardy right away, though – I think Marsha Hott is just supervising her college freshman baby broheim’s first party and invited a couple of sorority sisters over to “help,” so to speak. They didn’t, though, and left for the bars once Neil broke out his DJ Bello frolicking maneuvers. They were, like, sooooo outta there!
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It’s a toss-up between Andrew’s Bra!! and the Morons. But as much as I’d like another look or 37 at Zebra MILF, I have to go with Andrew’s Bro FTW. Not only did he bring in a gaggle of Canadian goosables(?), especially blue-dress cutie in pic #3, but that look of smug entitlement deserves a tire iron shoved through his nose sideways.
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So here’s to family discord and Andrew’s Bro as Douchebag of the Week! This is our service to all young men and women of the world who are willing to turn in anyone violating the terms of good taste. But we’re going to leave it up to Andrew to help his bro step up his game for the Monthly (by supplying more douchey ass pics).
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And I’m gonna take me, Zebra MILF’s pic, and my right hand on a safari…..
Of course, I meant “douchey ass” pics^^, not douchey “ass pics.”
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And by “safari,” I meant that I’ll pee in that horse more than once.
Why’s everyone got their boners in a knot over Zebra Hips/Boobs? She’s obviously imbibed more meaty phallusi than Takeru Kobayashi. Dolla #3 (we’ll call her Katherine), has her slender hands firmly wrapped around the shaft that is the Hottest Girl in This Picture contest. Oh Katherine, the disrespectfully sticky things I would do to you, and then cry to my therapist about the next day.
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As for the Breaker Morans, I just want to kick their ass for that hair. Hell, I want to kick their hair’s ass for that hair.
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No. I want to kick their hair’s ass’s hair for that hair, and then set fire to their ass hair.
Wait. Did that constitute a vote?
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Meh. I don’t care anymore.
This is a damned tough weekly!
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Gotta go with Andrew’s Bro and Kaitlyn. His face has the sneer of unearned entitlement that the other doucheknobs just don’t have. It makes me stabby.
Neil for the win!
Ladies watch on his right arm, cross tat done with the finest in roller ball ink, with a skull shirt offering up a rose.
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PLEASE
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Neil is the epitome of the Douche Trifecta!
I vote for the Morans. Neil has amassed the base ‘bag accoutrements but lacks the ‘bag ‘tude. Andrew’s Bro’s dead-behind-eyes mug makes my gunnyworks curdle with vomitrocious fury, but not as much as anime hair on Nickeloden tweenster Ken dolls. (See: http://www.nick.com/shows/big-time-rush/)
The Dolla Hotts are definitely the hottest chicks in this weeks competition, but I am calling Gaybag on the Breaker Morans, so no threat there.
Neil Hardy is an up and comer, but can be saved or get worse, his choice.
Gotta go with Andrew’s Bro. To mock the ones we care about in hopes of them seeing the errs of their way is true family love. That silly twat waffle needs to re-evaluate his life choices before Andrew takes matters in his own hands and neuters him in his sleep. Justifiably so.
I guess I’ll go with ANDY’S BRO and KAITLYN because a guy in a plaid cap and a wifebeater shirt like that reminds me of bad boy Billy Bigelow in “Carousel.” And though Kaitlyn with her blonde tresses is a far cry from the demure Julie Jordan of the same musical, she appears naive enough to not know she’s hangin’ with a douchebag.
In basing this all on the hotts and going with the Breaker Morans and Dolla hotts. Mmmmm nom nom nom!
Dolla Hotts. Because looking at this photo is like getting beaten with a sock full of quarters.
Since a real life “Douchervention” is taking place here with Andrew’s Brotastic “Pants on the Ground”, ass-gnawing brother, he takes the gold for me this week with Maple leaf flag-waving glory. Any actual oppertunity to stop the spread of the Grieco Virus first-hand, must be taken and trumps all!!!
Boss, hope I’m not to late to cast my vote in the direction of Andrew’s Bro and Kaitlyn. I was at first leaning towards nominating Neil Hardy, but his mom’s already disappointed enough in him. I then leaned (in the most literal sense) towards the Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts, because the Dolla Hotts are hott. However, the effort show by Andrew’s Bro in his douchiness, Kaitlyn in her elbow-suckleness and Andrew in his, err, tagginess leaves me certain that I’ve made the right choice. And Kaitlyn the wrong one.
The Breaker Morans suck in your gut so we can see the lack of muscle
Andrew’s Bro FTBC (for the Blame Canada). for Andrew’s Bro is quite possibly the first douchebag on HCwDB to get collagen treatment for his lips.
Vin:
Zebra hottie is my son’s buddy’s mom. Come on, Fontucky, get your game on!
i’m feeling like blaming Canada today because i’ve been subjected to a long bus trip standing next to to some college girls giggling over their moribund classes and exams. it’s probably no better in the US, but today, it’s Canadian college students that made me mentally decay by 100 years.
A Burberry baseball hat and a Coach bucket hat are the pinnacle of crappy-looking, overpriced accessories, with the possible exception of a Kardashian sister.
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So by process of elimination it goes to the gut-sucking, hair-fwipping, effeminate beach-douches and their pack of community college hotties. The gene pool gets a little shallower…
The Breaker Morans and Dolla Hotts FTW! Why? This picture is a clash of grade Z celebrity worlds colliding. First you have three generations of the Cyrus family in the picture. Gammy Cyrus pulled out her best zebra bikini and put a flower in her hair to hide that smell of stale tapioca. Mama Cyrus goes for the discreet cover-up while wondering why her daughter takes after her Gammy so much. And Miley. Jeez girl, you should get more than a dollar for blowing clam chowder all over Beaver Bieber’s leg. Chase Bieber on the other hand is diggin’ the heady aroma of Gammy’s farts because they remind him of that time on the school bus when he was sodomized by a rusty trombone.
Andrew’s Bro has a creepy, almost androgynous appearance to rival that of douche Lee. It’s something that’s edging its way in more and more lately. Plus, although seated with a poundable hot right next to him, the best use he can put his hands to is a stupid douche gesture. And, are they acidwash jeans? The hat sucks, the wifebeater too. AB FTW.
Gonna give the nod to the Bro this time around. Because Neil is obviously posing with his mom and the Breakers just might be gaybags (those hairstyles are major flame indicators). Bro might not be the biggest choad we’ve seen on this site, but he brings sheer volume to the scrote table.
My vote goes to those Surfers of Buttholes, the Breaker Morans. Justin Bieber’s hairstyle is more masculine.
Dishonorable Mention – The Utersladder
While the douchosity and basking pulchritude displayed above causes me bag-related malevolence, and the honeeeez do stir my loins…
NONE of them can compare to the horror of The Utersladder…
That pic alone is likely to cause me to find a Buddhist Retreat where I can then Drop Acid AND eat ‘shrooms; just so I can attempt to gain redemption by reliving my past life as a B-17 pilot dropping destruction upon EuroBagBurg…
The Hardy boy looks autistic and is still dressed up like that. I don’t know whether to blame him or whomever dressed him, but someone is responsible for this sin. Also, what the fuck is that hat? Is he trying out for Cypress Hill or something?
Oh, yeah, AB’s Mark Of The Bag is the most luminescent I’ve seen for a while.
Andrew’s Bro FTW, cause he reminds me of all the assholes who mocked my skinny, nerdy ass in high school.
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Ha! Who’s employed now, Assholes!!!
Gotta go with Andrew’s Bro, in the hopes that Andrew will show him the error of his ways, then give him the good smackdown that he deserves.
Heather is NOT uberhott. Also the other blonde of the same douche is NOT hot. Just clarifying. I think DB1 has got vision problems or something provoked by the excess of choad he’s constantly exposed to due to his fight.
I vote for the Breaker Morans because the girl on the right in their picture is the only Hott I am seeing in this weekly.
Have to go with Neil Hardy. Because we haven’t seen a wankster midwest choad represent for quite a while.
I pick #3 this week. Just cause.
Andrew’s Bro
Andrew Bro just looks stoned. Neil Hardy, while a cock just looks to be posing with his older cousin after he’s snuck from the basement to steal a beer at some sort of what I beleive you yankees call a ‘kegger’.
So the vote goes to The Breaker Morans. Jesus bling shorts, some sort of wrist cuff leather thing, the derp smile, that suggests some sort of early life lobotomy. And then theres Jennifer Love Hewitt hott in the middle… I’ll whisper to her ghost, then run when after she claims to have contacted the other side but really she’s called the police on me.
Although Andrew’s bro is my sentimental favorite (and assuming one can use the word ‘favorite’ to describe the repulsive), I have to do with the Dolla Hotts and whatever those are in the pic with them.
I’m not sure how the Utersladder didn’t make the cut, looking as he does like the European E-Blo. And to these eyes, much more annoying.
At first glance, I wanted to give AB a pass. But after viewing the three supplemental picks, he definitely gets my vote. I would also like to give him a size 11 steel-toed boot to the head in a effort to test the resiliency of his ever-present but unwarranted look of smugness.
I went to the mall this weekend with his wife and tried to punch as dudes in the face with hair like that. One thing I noticed, which made me feel really good is that most of them seemed to act gay (not that there is something wrong with that
I know that every vote counts, so pencil me…no, ink me in for Andrew’s Bro for the win. It’s a special case, with the younger brother outing him, and I feel something as powerful as that should be recognized.
In 10 years Neil will get a call from a lawyer telling him he’s inherited the Ed Hardy empire. The ensuing celebration will last nearly a month and result in the death of 12 platypi and 42 mountain goats, and the land filling of 15,325 red cups. Unfortunately Neil will be unable to pay the inheritance tax and so will be forced to sell off the entire business. But why anyone would want to purchase a contaminated child labor textile mill in Haiti, a warehouse full of moth eaten v-neck shop rags, and a distribution contract with All-A-Peso! is beyond me.
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In the meantime Andrew’s Bro get’s my vote because Kaitlyn is all sorts of girl I think I could get a second look from and I just want to kick Neil in the nads to get the failure balls rolling.
Only one of these douches is douchey enough to cause a family member to metaphorically say, “Hey, bro, stop being such a douche.” And Kaitlyn makes me want to paint her face like a Pollock. Andrew’s Bro and Kaitlyn FTW.
Although the Breaker Morans have the better punny name and are probably more toxic, they have to be a particularly elaborate performance art troupe, right? Their cause is not helped by the appearance with the Dolla “Hotts”.
Hello boys!!
neil hardy is such a tool every part of his ensemble could be useful for just about any household task… whether you need to unclog a toilet, dislodge an object from the garbage disposal, test a socket or dispose of a rodent, neil has you covered.
neil hardy FTW
American Typhus is clearly the best pic of the week, even though it wasn’t nominated. Hopefully it’ll be part of the HCwDB exhibit in the Guggenheim in 2023.
This week I’m gonna have to vote for Neil Hardy and Marsha Hott, just for how fucking YOUNG they look. It looks like that with the right amount of training he could develop into a hall of scroter someday.
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