Thursday, January 27, 2011

‘Bag / Nottabag: The Jordanbag

What say you?

The case against: Sports jerseys are not auto-douche. No hand gestures. Regular cap wearing. General slacker-face but no signs of douche-face.

The case for: Idiotic Asian tribal tatt. Anyone who decides to wear, out of all NBA players, picks the obvi Jordan jersey. The ubergnaw qualities of Heather, the hottest older sister of the hot chick who just graduated Westerburg High.

Granted, the level of hottness of the chick is not allowed to be considered as a case for douchery on the part of the ‘bag.

So I put it to you, Greg. Is the tribal tatt enough?

‘Bag? Or Nottabag?

# posted by douchebag1
2:05 pm January, 27 mr.reeve said...

This must be some sort of test.

2:08 pm January, 27 FlipFriddle said...

I call ‘bag-in-waiting: roids, the beginning of pursed lips, and tribal tats, he’s so close.

And oh yeah, hooray for big orange boobies!

2:12 pm January, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I like the way he is curling and invisible dumbbell. Douche.

2:13 pm January, 27 mr.reeve said...

The age limit for wearing jerseys when you are not at the actual game has to be about 24. I personally do not own a jersey and have no desire to wear or own one. So I say douche. The tribal tatt was enough but wearing a jersey on a date with a hott is autodouche.

2:13 pm January, 27 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

Look, this is no Smoot, but we clearly have a fully developed ‘bag here. Maybe it’s just me, but that “slacker face” looks like a conscious attempt at douchesneer.

And as we all know, douchesneer, even if poorly executed, is an autodouche qualifier. No Mercy

2:16 pm January, 27 retard said...

The “douchesneer” and quasi bicep flex. Guilty. ‘Bag.

2:21 pm January, 27 Deltus said...

He’s a gym ‘bag (see what I did there? har har), and the bicep tatt is plenty douchey. Plus I agree with memphis above, that’s dangerously close to a douchesneer. He’s Stage 1, no pass for him.
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Oh, and? Boobies! *motorboat*

2:25 pm January, 27 Wedgie said...

Borderline nottas for both of them.

2:29 pm January, 27 Wedgie said...

First rule of skin tone: face and boobs should be the same general color.
And if you get Chinese hyroglyphics tattooed on your arm, make sure you know what they say.
“Eat At Moe’s” is probably not what he wanted.

2:34 pm January, 27 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I say BAG. The tattoo alone should be grounds. Anyone who follows like this guy does is a big BAG of dung.

2:34 pm January, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Disgracing two cultures at the same time: check
.
Try to hold back the sneery ducklips: check
.
Narrowing gaze with a “Go ahead and say something to me faggit” expression: Check
.
What we have here is a metamorphasizing bagling. He’s in the pupa stage just waiting until he has enough money to go to WalMart and get his bling.
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Verdict: 0.5bag

2:37 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

I either wear my Gator Greenwell #39, Jose Canseco #33 or Oil Can Boyd #23 t-shirt to games when the BoSawx come out to play Anaheim and Oakland. Game day only.
.

If you’ve got good guns, wear all the tank tops you want , who cares. Notta-douche even with those shitty scrawls on his arm
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….. as for Heather, I’d like watch them boobies slapping all over the place as she rides my vein log.

2:38 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Greatest hi-lite in the history of recorded sports:
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Video Provided by Beaned.com

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2:42 pm January, 27 Captain Garanichode said...

Douchebag – Schmouchebag… She has nice MomBags!

2:43 pm January, 27 creature said...

more of a tool….chinese characters read, “w t f? I belong to no tribe & feel very isolated & unwanted”

2:46 pm January, 27 jonezy said...

she’ll have no problems getting a job as an executive assistant

2:47 pm January, 27 the douche is alright said...

Douchebag. I think that the hat is probably at a 6 or 7 degree tilt. not quite 10 degree, but that’s because he loosely placed it on his head right before the picture. sure enough, he will side tilt that hat before taking that girl to McDonalds

2:51 pm January, 27 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

She has two scoops of perfection and they’re packed with flavor.
.
I’m on the fence about this guy. Going to the gym doesn’t make one a bag. However he reeks of a major attitude problem. Tool box? Yes. Bag? Meh.

2:54 pm January, 27 free music said...

i taste it ‘Bag / Nottabag: The Jordanbag « Hot Chicks with Douchebags at this moment im your rss reader

2:55 pm January, 27 boone doggle said...

nice mam’s

2:56 pm January, 27 boone doggle said...

i’m sorry. what was the question?

2:58 pm January, 27 YA said...

The exposed muscular biceps make him a ‘bag.

2:59 pm January, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

He’s tilting towards the bagside, the subtle tricep flex, the no imagination tribal tatt. Def stage 1 on the flip side it’s still early and hopefully he doesn’t go full douchey.
.
As for the lovely, succulent, Mid Western farm ripened Heather I would hand shuck a 5 acre plot of your dads corn field in the hope that he would invite me on to the back porch to offer me a glass of lemonade and a pat on the back for a job well done, at which point when his back was turned, I would risk his ire and subsequent shot gun blast of buck shot to my back side to stare up at your bedroom window to hopefully catch a glimpse of those luscious melons as you unholster them from the confines of your underwire bra as you head for the bathroom to take a steamy hot soapy shower.

2:59 pm January, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’m thinking notta: no bling, no redonkulous watch (that we can see), and he was probably drunk off his ass and thought the Chinese characters for “I’m a fucking idiot for geting this tattoed on my body” was cool.
.
And I think that’s his step-mom. And he’s desperately trying to get her into his bed. That could be considered a douche move.

2:59 pm January, 27 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Douche everything about his is form over substance- just using tats, snears and jerseys to try to get to Heather, which I don’t disagree with the objective, just the method.

3:16 pm January, 27 HeresJohnny said...

I vote Nottadouche. But Heather is certainly mega-hott. All of a sudden I have a hankering for some Cantaloupe

3:22 pm January, 27 Douchble Helix said...

It depends. Do I have to say it in Mongo’s presence?

3:23 pm January, 27 TheBigLebagski said...

That’s like… you know the face… is…really man… a doucheface. Man. There is more douche there than the tattoo, man. Douche sneer. Too old for jersey. Tats. Douche thou art, Man.

3:24 pm January, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ the douche is alright
.
How long you been a Gooner? Carling Cup final here we come!

3:26 pm January, 27 soy bomb said...

@ Vin: I’ll see your Gator jersey and raise with my custom Carlos Quintana #18 jersey.
.
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Horrific Panasian Tribal-Tat = Autodouche.

3:28 pm January, 27 Nancy Dreuche said...

I would fuck him

3:33 pm January, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He gets a TOTAL Bag tag…And she gets a Nice Fun Bags tag.

3:38 pm January, 27 G said...

‘bag in training – won’t take much to push him to the dark side…she is full fledged hott – I would even go as far as to say HOH material…

4:09 pm January, 27 creature said...

she’s orange, mang!

4:48 pm January, 27 Douchesdownunder said...

Hey the guy can’t help it if he’s11 feet tall, but those tatts? Definitely doucheworthy for someone who’s never been outside Nebraska. And Heather is pure perfection, you don’t let ones like these slip through your fingers.

5:01 pm January, 27 Nancy Dreuche said...

@me 3:28p, oh no we wouldn’t! And hey, welcome back troll me. I was wondering where you ran off to. What’s new?
And here’s why I wouldn’t nail this douche. 1. He’s twice as tall as me. Logistically it just doesn’t work well. I mean its doable sure but still not the best scenario. 2. I hate tattoos. There I said it. No offense to anybody that has them I personaly just don’t like them. 3. It looks like he’s already dating his mom, which is bad. Serious mom issues with this douche. 4. I find basketball to be mind numbingly boring. Again, my own opinion.
.
So in conclusion, no I would not fuck him. He s all yours troll me.

5:58 pm January, 27 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

He’s a douche for being so fuccing trite in his sartorial choices.The well-groomed sports fan knows there’s only one t-shirt that stands out above the rest: The Tekulve
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2316/2075692683_53fb55ddb5_b.jpg

6:40 pm January, 27 Grand Douchemeister said...

+1 for the Jordan jersey
-1 for the tribal tatt
+1 for the worn out khaki shorts
-1 for not smiling in the picture
+/- 1 for the slight hat tilt but not an over obnoxious faux-gangsta tilt
-1 for the tricep flex

Hence, I say a Stage 1 Douche with the potential to head back from whence he came into normalcy or continue on the path into douchiness.

7:21 pm January, 27 Mark it Eight, Douche said...

Notta.

7:26 pm January, 27 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Dude is a douche but he gets points for secretly wanting to bang the MILF.

I want to bang the smile off her face.

7:26 pm January, 27 DarkSock said...

For some reason I want to hear the Smashing Pumpkins in stereo now.

7:52 pm January, 27 dbBen said...

^ Subtle. Nice.
.
Bryce’s mom is totally cool.

8:07 pm January, 27 Ted Brogan said...

Retard is correct.

8:10 pm January, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I give him a pass. He was on a trip to play Japan at an exhibition America-Orient Tier three basketball college when his plane began to lose altitude. The stewardess came on the phone (she wishes) and said E is Kayleen I am your ead light attendan, or as westerners call us stewardess. He,He,He,he,he ,he ,he, he,. We fuck you long time Joe. As she stopped bantering about her suppressed Japanese sexual morals, she did mention that monster bukkake parties were filmed with genitals pixelated out, only showing the furious and Mothra-like cum loads that were shot by these little yellow fucks all over tiny little 18 year old Japanese girls faces. I was disgusted and demanded to talk to the Bud-hist monk in charge because I had never seen that video on Cliphunter. Sorry Sir, he is also the navigator and in this storm vaccuum he has no time to spare. Put on your seatbelt and prepare for the remote chance that we may crash near Midway. Midway? Fuck it is happening all over again! Did we go through a black hole or even worse did I ever talk about Bosonic String Theorem when I was in the War having time travelled. Fuck Off! If Tojo new that I had seen the future and I and the basketball dude were still alive would we not rupture the fabric of space-time as Einstein thought. Fuck no that is not it, I told my comely young protege and first officer for the planet Organ, Fallopius. Fallopius had previously had felicity to the equations of a Mr. Max Planck who directed work at disproving Einstien’s equation E=
mc2. Composed of particals! Fuck Max I’m a doctor not a theoretical physicist you coccksucker. I got Scotty to put him into the transporter and send him to Rigal-5 the fuck because everyone knows that Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle rocks and his school had the drunkest, slutiest, and I mean get it on while they are still virgins because Captain Kirk doesn’t roll with the dildo’s and condoms. I like it old school bare sexy, sex, Brotha. So when I’m flying in space and has me a little green spinner to she-bang, I prefer Sly and The Family. Stoned. So that’s how we rolled in the seventies just before the disco hit because we new that the Kingdom of Mordor was preparing to launch a hit on us in the 1960’s. The only way that I was getting back to Woodstock was if I could find a way to get back to the 1970’s to film Midway. So I hires me a bunch of actors and we make a three hour low-resolution time specific film that history will believe had come from recent years although I was Parsecs away and looking at the film’s review’s in the past. Well the film did OK and Midway was a success due to a flyer with the picture of a young dude named Charleton Heston of whom I have never heard and Henry Fonda. Many years later was caught in a film by a fat Romulan bent on ruining the ancient nation of the USA, His name was Michael Whore I think. We are sending space centurions worthy of the task to go back in time and kill him soon because the fat cunt can’t live much longer with that belly and disappearing weenis. Enough about his Weenis, the Interplanetary Council got into some doobage one night, excuse me for a moment. We didn’t want to mess up our suggestions, needed to have a puff of M-49 w/opium (prescription blend 2567) and were parched for a drink. The consensus is ancient North American for supper so we will be having the Bright’s 74 Special Tawny this evening. Fuck does nobody take a joke anymore in 2593? I
.
.
.
.
.don’t
.
.
.
.want you to forget about me Bones. Now have I shall be wishing aways. Yes I’ve off the Republic Fuckplanet up.com in the way the lights yourself the fake. I must a real brake yan da. One a those Easter gonna received nice underground.Farm poor ancestors.
We were never animal feature
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Jim, you have lost an epic battle led by your underselver from another learned at the early of flight. A flight today less it wasn’t just you taste.
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.lead 30 new number 2

8:15 pm January, 27 dbBen said...

@Darksock
.
One of the first songs I learned on the guitar. Now I directly associate it with orange lady boobs. And I can’t say that I’m mad about it.

8:19 pm January, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I know this guy.

8:26 pm January, 27 Nancy Dreuche said...

Who needs TV when you’ve got The Rev? Holy Jesus. My favorite thus far in your ongoing series Rev Chad. You make me feel normal, and I thank you for that. And what the hell is an underselver?!
.
Favorite quote: “Fuck, does nobody take a joke anymore in 2953?
.
Part of me wants you to sober up and another part of me doesn’t.

9:41 pm January, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

I shall go by the bicep-to-head ratio. If it’s bigger than the head, then douche. As we can see it is a close call. He still has that flair of innocence that gets him a notta, but has wandered far off the straight and narrow into the forest of douche.

10:19 pm January, 27 DR.FUNK said...

TOOL ‘BAG. He’s in training to join the upper bracket of championship -level douches.Wait until hott introduces him to her personal tanning consultant.

11:07 pm January, 27 chuffy pest said...

Armflex and puffy chest=auto douche.

11:55 pm January, 27 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

His type is nowadays about as familiar as a brown paper bag.
Douche in training.

12:22 am January, 28 tall guy said...

Familiarity has bred contempt though. Sure it’s a common enough, but no less douche because of it.

He gets a bag from me and she’s totally hot.

12:25 am January, 28 tall guy said...

‘common enough look’

5:41 am January, 28 FoghornLeghorn said...

Bad tattoo, yeah, but I give him extra credit for the jersey. MJ is still the man where I come from. Plus he’s reaching for the stars with his friend’s older sister. Notta.
.
@Vin–that Canseco video is classic. Sometimes I have days like that.

5:42 am January, 28 gigliott2000@yahoo.com said...

@ Dr. Bunsen,

been a gooner for almost 9 years now. Freddie Ljunberg’s curler against chelsea in the FA cup final in 2002 was what got me hooked

6:00 am January, 28 Collaz B. Popped said...

Stage one DB,,,sneer, semi flex, Bball is boring and overrated,,,,,,Im with Dreuche on that.

,,,,,,amazing natural breasts. Fuccen rope worthy.

7:05 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

Douchey, trendy tatts
and ‘hard-ass’ look make this guy
a Stage-1 at least.

7:42 am January, 28 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Given the colossal ‘bags on this site…this poor dweeb is nowhere near a BAG. Hate him, kick his ass for various foibles…but: NOTTA

7:44 am January, 28 Jean Luc Scrotetard said...

Note the tense arm in an effort to show off the meager attempt at tricep building. Oriental symbols trying to appear worldly. Steely eyed stare…………he’s a bag of the highest level of baggery. Strange that he’s even being considered to be one of us.

8:13 am January, 28 DouchYouWannaDance said...

When you don’t smile for a photo with your hottie girlfriend but instead pose with a feux-defiant smug-mug, add the tribe-tat, and the “I can’t name a sports star from this decade” jersey….

Autodouche.

9:26 am January, 28 Dooshspotter said...

bag, trying hard not to let bloom his full bagginess in a photosession for his mom, who is only trying to document his teen-aged conquests of hotts for his future doucheprogeny, or whomever else he may need to show.

11:16 am January, 28 Tanath said...

not just the tat, but the hat, and the dumb face too…bag

11:17 am January, 28 Daniel Calvert said...

Answer: Douche.

Our man of the scrotal hour is a chameleodouche, a slippery version of a stage 1 in denial. The jersey is being worn solely for its sleeveless properties, so that he can prominently display his inkbag needlework on artificially enlarged testostero-douchebulk. Never mind the obvious that his patchwork outfit has no level of style or appropriateness when standing next to his (and probably no longer after this picture) hottie. While the lack of dyed, greased-up hair + elementary bangs suggests his cranium is unaware of his own bagginess, the failure to execute a complete douchiness of presentation does not disqualify him from the general merit of actively seeking bagdrudgery.

1:34 pm January, 28 Douche Assassin said...

Bag. His Chinese tatt doesnt even mean anything.

6:40 pm January, 28 Cheesesock said...

Fucking douchebag!

9:15 pm January, 28 Stephanie said...

Tribal tats are auto douche,he’s just starting out though. That stupid look on his face is also auto douche. It means the lights are not on at home.

5:52 pm January, 30 lovetoracecross said...

Total douche. Thats a mullet!!

those are some nice big orange titties though.

8:41 pm January, 30 blah said...

Douche

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