Wednesday, February 9, 2011

HCwDB of the Month: Gynochin and Brunette Rhea

Taking down even the mighty douchal power of Carla and the Bros ™, not to mention the Vegas Staypuft Pantywankers and creepy theatricality of Ronnie the Rivethead and perfect sucklability of Woo Girl Kelly, this was a Gynochinslide.

Witness the supplimentary academic texts in support of the thesis:

Gynochin with Perky Peri.

Gynochin and Rhea and Gynopenis Nose.

The voters speak:

Dude McCrudeshoes: Gynochin must be recognized for his impressive body of work. And Rhea must be recognized for her impressive body.

UFO Destroyers: He makes watches stop when he plays in traffic and she makes angels sing when in her presence.

Wedgie: The Chin for the win. Wolverine’s retarded cousin cannot be ignored.

Antony Scrotus: Gynochin and Rhea FTW. Gyno looks like such a big toolbag. I laughed when I saw him. Rhea is fine beauty. The other trash girls don’t even come close.

The great Bagdini: Gynochin for the win, he personifies the ‘bag without being over the top. And by top i mean ridiculous hair and penis glasses.

Troy Tempest: Gynochin. Because just looking at him puts my brain in stirrups and a speculum in each of my eyes.

shish kebag: I would have raging squirrels run through my pants for hours just to get the chance to massage her body for days, then for her to tell me she prefers my brother!!!

Dude McCrudeshoes: Rhea wants your vote! She also wants to know who snuck all the W’s into her bag of M&M’s.

smackdouche: The others are trying, but it comes naturally for Gyno/Rhea. See what I did there? Gyno/Rhea?

Hermit: According to the ancient Biblical text: “Sampson slew a thousand men with the jaw bone of an ass.” Recently uncovered scrolls, along with the above photographic evidence suggest that Gynochin was the ass who lost his jawbone.

Douchelips: Gynochin and Brunette Rhea FTW! He’s the most original by far. Plus he looks like he spends his life looking down a hairdryer.

Guns-N-Douches: Gynochin brings the chin pubes, the hair, the expression, the sunglasses at night and wears a penis on his nose, so he is douche… but what helps him get to the top of Mount Choadwank is Rhea. Rhea is all that is good in this world, like puppies, rainbows and open bar at a wedding where all the bridesmaids are hot, single and in need for some serious deep dicking.

the douche whisperer: @rhea: why?

soy bomb: I wonder if there’s some physical deformity that Gynochin suffers from that makes it look like he’s gargling ballsac.

Stephanie: I’m developing some severe hate for gynochin. But it’s like a car accident you must look at when you pass by it.

teh_abominable_snowdouche: Excellent spread. But as I scrolled down and saw Gynochin, something inside me faded. Like that fuzzy thing right behind your penis. *sigh* Gynochin FTL.

Douchesquire: Heatmiser Gynochin and Rhea for the win. He fuels the ire as I would stoke a coal furnace to warm the cockels of her heart. And by heart I mean Boobies.

Southern Scrotic: Gonna have to go with the superhott Ubergnaw and Ditchwater Gynochin FTW.

jonezy: Gynochin’s hotts are certainly lust-worthy and very expensive and I think we all hope his “career” as Guy Pearce’s stand-in will lead to many more fruitful nights explaining to his dates exactly what a stand-in does before more intricately explaining why said “career” doesn’t enable him to pay for her portion of the expensive meal they just consumed.

Mr. White: The Rivethead is compelling, but not as compelling as Rhea and her hypno-eyes/hypno-boobs. She’s like a hott version of The Hypnotoad. All hail Hypnotoad!

Well said Mr. Wh… all hail Hypnotoad! (ahem) But the others found their support, with Carla and the Bros ™ coming in second, Ronnie and Kelly third and the Staypuft turds a lonely and distant fourth:

Luis Douchuel: In the end, I have to go with Carla and The Bros, because despite Carla’s blandness, and despite The Bros’ gaybaggery and probaggery tendencies, they have demonstrated true douchiness, that is, douchiness of the mind and of the written word. And isn’t that the root cause of all douche?

I R A Darth Aggie: Carla and The Brows™ FTW. Mostly to piss off Sabio the Sabot, and there are hotter Hotts (like Brunette Rhea and Woo Girl Kelly).

dbBen: “The Bros”. Because they have broken the fourth wall.

MoeDouche: Carla and the Bros FTW. Just to goad them on to come back and make asses of themselves again.

FoghornLeghorn: I’m voting for Carla and the Bros. Sure Gynochin is a fantastic douche and Rhea is… well, Rhea, but the sheer number douches in the Bros out weigh them both. If Carla had somebody look into straightening her cervical vertebrae, I think she could even challenge Rhea.

Choad The Douche Sprocket: Ronnie the Rivethead is all I love about HCwDB… by which I mean I love to look at super hot, perky (Debby Reynolds-in-her-heyday) hotts being humped from behind by barely pubescent pudwacks who keep their underwear on during their aforementioned anal adventures.)

The Reverend Chad Kroeger: It’s gotta be Ronnie. He’s really taken a shot at it. And by shot I mean like the hillbillies shooting at Bugs.

Ronnie’s headwounds and the others all had their shot, but this was the real world hottie/douchey dialectic in full force that trumped performative “pro” ‘baggery and brought back real world punch-face in presence of a hott that we would, as Medusa Oblongata puts it: lick melted butter from between Rhea’s toes.

Their win is impressive. Most impressive. But they are not HCwDB of the Year winners yet.

Chalk up our first coupling to make it to the Yearly. And the DB1 for sugar enhanced Chex.

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am February, 9 Wheezer said...

Will Gynochin ever swallow that load of Gyzz?

7:21 am February, 9 mr.reeve said...

Congrats Ole Dickchin. You deserve this win. Rhea, I too would lick melted butter from between your toes. If a camel was in there somewhere.
I am still recovering from a 3 day drunkfest that ended Monday. I don’t know what I am typing. “Get some” son

7:23 am February, 9 Deltus said...

This was a case of the hott side being so hott that the douche side, although douchey, played only an insignificant role in the win.

7:56 am February, 9 boone doggle said...

amen deltus. amen.

8:25 am February, 9 Wheezer said...

Rhea and the Bros™ woulda been a landslide, and perhaps a strong Yearly contender.
.
Unless Gynochin does something incredibly heinous (such as starting his own poorly-written blog page talking about “elder child cocks”), he’s going to get smoked in the Douchies. And I know we have 10 short months to go.

8:25 am February, 9 DarkSock said...

I dub his hairstyle….”The Pompadouche”.

9:14 am February, 9 Anonymous said...

^
Wasn’t Pompadouche a former prime minister of France?

9:30 am February, 9 Captain Garanichode said...

I second the “Pompadouche” (with or without a Gynochin, this is indeed a Pompadouche)

9:30 am February, 9 Luis Douchuel said...

I’m pretty sure Gyno is just at a wax museum, and Rhea is an ethereal representation of Madame du Barry.

10:24 am February, 9 John Creasy said...

I didn’t even read this whole thing, it seemed wholly unnecessary after the leaning tower of hair shot.

1:44 pm February, 9 Stephanie said...

Donkeyface

2:59 pm February, 9 Captain Garanichode said...

that face is called the “Punchemindapuss”.

3:04 pm February, 9 Beltman713 said...

Dude looks like he got his lips stuck inside a vacuum cleaner hose.

4:07 am February, 14 Motorcycle Parts said...

I’m pretty sure gyno is just a wax museum, and Rhea is a representation ethereal Madame du Barry.

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