Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Furby Gets a Nottadouche

Good for you, hirsute red one.

Long may you party with Freshman.

Long may you run with the generic brand Vodka from Rite Aid.

Until the crap job market harshes your mellow.

# posted by douchebag1
2:11 pm June, 14 Collaz B. Popped said...

The NY Post Headline today ;

OBAMA BEATS WEINER!

2:17 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Furby gets a notta, but not the bird-flipping douchebag on the left.
(Why is it called “the bird” anyway?)

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I’m loving the cheap vodka and 1960’s era dial phone on the dresser.
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Bubba

2:24 pm June, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

Ah damn, this guy drinks my brand! And also, hella sick neckbeard! He probably comments in here. I give this guy a pass and I’m going to ask to borrow his shirt to have a picnic on. Alone. Wait, that sounds pretty sad. For me and him.
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Sweet cheeks.

2:24 pm June, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Looks like a Smirnoff bottle, maybe a melon flavor?

2:24 pm June, 14 creature said...

a ginger sasquatch….screw this furry turd, looks like he’s gonna make Chritina Ricci yak her Miller Lite tallboy

2:28 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Smokie Smurf sez, “Hiyah”
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2:31 pm June, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If he taps that I would even give him a good on ya mate, but that’s an Australian thing so I just gayed myself.
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Chief
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Vancouver in 7.

2:37 pm June, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
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A Che Guevara T… how counterculture. He was so enraged by poverty and despotism that he raised Cuba to be the bastion of humanitarianism, industry, wealth, and equality that it is today. I’m giving flatty McGhettobeer the rare female douche for cultural and historical ignorance.

3:03 pm June, 14 soy bomb said...

Looks like there’s a third tool in the middle, predictably flipping the bird as well. Sweet loft party…to get up and leave from.
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Sparky

3:30 pm June, 14 soy bomb said...

Was just listening to my iTunes on shuffle and the Living Colour classic, Glamour Boys just popped up. If this isn’t a scathing commentary on Douchebags, I don’t know what is.

The glamour boys swear they are a diva
The glamour boys have it all under control
Always dancing and always laughing
The glamour boys are playing the role

The glamour boys never have no money
The glamour boys wear the most expensive clothes
The glamour boys are always at the party
Where the money comes from heaven only knows

I ain’t no glamour boy – I’M FIERCE
I ain’t no glamour boy – (snap)
I ain’t no glamour boy – I’M FIERCE
I ain’t no glamour boy

The glamour boys live off their ambition
The glamour boys have it all figured out
A very, very dubious position
When you got no clout

The glamour boys whole life is a gamble
They might get over or fall flat on their face
But if one does, there’s no need to worry
Another G-Boy will take this place

I ain’t no glamour boy – I’M FIERCE

The glamour boys don’t think tomorrow
The glamour boys just need tonight to play
But just like things you can’t afford on credit
Time catches up and you have to pay

The glamour boys are always on the guest list
You’ll always find them in the hottest spots in town
They’ll be your friend if you have fame or fortune
If you don’t they won’t be hanging ’round

I ain’t no glamour boy – I’m FIERCE

3:33 pm June, 14 soy bomb said...

The Vid.

3:47 pm June, 14 tall guy said...

@ oi! Rev Kroegay: read, learn and inwardly digest, young aspirant. Any attempt to leap aboard a passing bandwagon of mass hysteria that periodically descends in the disguise of patriotism is simply foolhardy. My position is reasonable, honest and correct and I have sufficient depth of passion, logic and biting wit to scathingly cut through any such patriotism which, evidently, regularly evinces itself by crushing small nations to death in order to steal their gold, oil, drug trade etc-etc-etc. Plus I’m 6 foot 4 (i’ll use the special needs Imperial system for you, son), built like a brick shithouse (that’s an outside dunny, sonny), and can fight. Just sayin’, Cletus… Son.
Learn from it.

3:51 pm June, 14 creature said...

don’t fuk w/tall guy, rev!

4:06 pm June, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@soy bomb, I didn’t know the gang from “Cool Runnings” had a band. Its funny how the douchebag phenom has been going on for ages. If we couldn’t stop it in the 80s what makes us think we can stop it now.
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@tall guy, Revs just pissed that we got word of his “My Little Pony” obsession, plus his Casucks are gonna suck sweaty Bruin balls and he’s sorta sensitive about that.

4:39 pm June, 14 spellchucker said...

Dude,
;lsfd,caripgjikdlkfIf that is indeed a Che Guevara shirt, I agree.;askgjaoigjwkjvn;asflkvn I’ve seen ignorant young people wearing those shirts because other naisdgfoqiwgjlka sgm 4p3qoiutgjlokrgm ca;sfgnpqw4ouitqowirgjnaslfdkmng who think he’s some kind of ;lsdkgfvaoigjwjrnvahromantic protector of the opressed, when in reality he presided overl;daksjfpaweoi wpcognjklv firing squads and Cuban “labor camps” for thealkwejgacsoijgwkofj people who disagreed with his totalitarianism.
However, I think that may be Bob Marley on her shirt, and if so, I tip my bong to her.

4:53 pm June, 14 Douchble Helix said...

By golly, that *is* a rotary phone. Maybe the photo is from the past?
At first, I thought she had that really bored, “I can’t wait to escape this big lummox” look that I may have seen once or twice. But upon great photo zooming, she’s drunk. And horny. Red’s gettin’ some. From the Rasta chick. Guar-an-teed.

5:00 pm June, 14 The Dude said...

Wonder what young red’s hair would look like if he didn’t live in an attic. Seems to be slanting at a similar angle.

5:07 pm June, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Tall Guy
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What the fuck is your problem? Shrimp burned?
Foster’s shits? Hit by an errant boomerang? Aborigine get your goat? Dingo eat your baby?
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This is no place for nonsense. Oh yea it is. I didn’t understand what you said there.
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Mate. Learn from it

5:28 pm June, 14 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

sure she looks good now, and if he gets to smash that, it will be the best piece he ever had. my advice to him, even though he’s gonna wanna stalk her for decades future, to not.

i see her married to a guy who goes into the family business,churning out enough kids that she has a ready and familiar opinion of everyone in the school district. the type of woman whose response to everything is to frown her lips inward towards her teeth in mild perturbance. he is gonna need to jack off to his memory of her, right now, until he is collecting social security, or can’t afford boner pills whichever comes first. that said i do like my women who can handle a pounder or a bigass beer.

5:55 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

This pic must be removed because technically there’s no male douche. I have it on good word that the ginger sasquatch is none other than Rugs McTeatclampett, president of the She/He International Transgender Political Action Committee.
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When SHITPAC finds out you mocked himher you’ll all think of the 4chan hack as the good old days.
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Bucko.

5:57 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Despotic lesbians groom the unwashed in backroom board meetings. Writhing vaginoskeletons squirm forward on plasticine seats of rubber and gruel, sliding like maniacal slugs across highways of sweat and irritated ringworm. “Free the oppressed,” the critics scream from behind megaphones and falling rooftops while shoving small children over chasms of concrete and ignorance.
Team physicians and clinical psychiatrists lay the fallen gatekeeper on metal tables and eviscerate him, removing organs and brain function. Alien scalpels scrape his intestines of misinformation and lead-based paint in an effort to quicken dulled reflexes and delayed gratification. Forty-five calibre brass brushes are rammed through the bore of the unfortunate penile tube in a ritual cleansing.
In darkened alleys the skittish Vancouver gutter rats lick their whiskers in nervous anticipation, preparing to dine on the discarded offal thrown out the back door of medical labs and training rooms.
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Bruins————————–3

Canucks———————-1
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Hoss

6:02 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

I reserve the right to change my prediction again tommorow night.
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Fella’

6:09 pm June, 14 soy bomb said...

Hermit: I recognize and agree to your prediction-changing terms.
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Pal

6:14 pm June, 14 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

What’s this? The site became HCwNDB today?

6:19 pm June, 14 ehcuodouche said...

Sadly, this gave me a flashback to my old college days. That’s me, there, minus so much red hair and facial fung. That’s my best friend from orientation, later called “faceman”. His bird is really saying, “I’m bangin both of them, and neither one is my girlfriend.” Meanwhile, tubby ginger is going to pass out on his back and douchebag will leave with mousy-hott without turning him over. It’s too bad that all bands today are shit because this generation really could use a Smiths or an Echo and the Bunnymen to properly channel out all that frustration.

6:22 pm June, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@FDD, HotChicksWithNancyDreucheBags is in the works. Don’t tell DB1. I’m gonna claim I came up with it on my own.
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Toots

6:29 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

This kid would be so money in prison.
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Comrade.

6:41 pm June, 14 soy bomb said...

Furby has no idea what a vagina smells, tastes or feels like.
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Amigo.

6:47 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Furby once tore his rotator cuff throwing live poultry through a closed bathroom window.
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Homeslice

6:49 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Furby splashes his sister’s teen perfume on his ankles before supper.
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Bud

6:51 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Furby once milked a live antelope in the parking lot of a Goodwill Store in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan.
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Hoser

6:56 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Furby keeps a pair of soiled. nylon rattlesnakes tucked under his scrotum for additional support.
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Partner

7:01 pm June, 14 Hermit said...

Furby’s pubic hairs are fiber optic, and therefore not compatible with modern shampoos and conditioners.
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Girlfriend

7:03 pm June, 14 Stephanie said...

Ginger dude must say “awesome” about 100 times a day. And Furby’s holding up the item he loves more than chicks,and that’s the cheap ass vodka.

7:26 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

Furby atones for ‘bation time by slurpin’ the doodi P.
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Muchachos.

7:26 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

Furby dug up Micheal Landon and stole his hair.
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Heifer.

7:52 pm June, 14 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

this guy looks more like scott farkus than scott farkus does now.

ol chaps

8:52 pm June, 14 creature said...

Furby ia actually a rainbow assed babnoon…doin a handstand…walking backwards…cleansing his bottom with cheap vodka…Sport

8:55 pm June, 14 creature said...

babboon…jackass!
I also bathe my backside in alchohol…red label…& by backside I mean tonsils…& by bathe I mean torrential dowmPOUR

8:57 pm June, 14 creature said...

^habitually keyboard challenged…fellah

9:04 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

Furby’s testes are reminiscent of Ho-Ho-Kus and Weehawken: The Twin Jewels In Jersey’s Crown.
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Jack.

9:05 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

And DAMN YOU, Creature; I was saving “sport” for something special.
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Egg Dick.

9:21 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Furby sniffed the captain’s chair for left over scent of Vash’s brown star methane remnants
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Dope Slap

9:29 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Furby jacks his meat to Cousin Serena from Bewitched duringTV Land reruns
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Colonel

9:37 pm June, 14 creature said...

it’s true, I fuck eggs
pardner

9:38 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Furby fills a gym sock full of his goo whenever Pauline is on the Batman TV show.
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Sistah

9:39 pm June, 14 creature said...

then I return them to the grocers shelf
scooter

9:42 pm June, 14 creature said...

ginga sasquatch treats wombat ass like the bat cave
scout

9:46 pm June, 14 creature said...

furby jerks off with razor blades…cuz he was told love hurts
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daddio

9:48 pm June, 14 Douchble Helix said...

I don’t think that’s cousin Serena. Who was a brunette. Because Samantha was a blond. And Elizabeth Montgomery played them both.

10:43 pm June, 14 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

what she is really thinking is

“does this t-shirt make me look arafat”

chulo

11:09 pm June, 14 creature said...

edith…you’re a riot
jefe

12:03 am June, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“Ginger Sasquatch” Furby (thanks Darksock) in addition to mocking the slanted ceiling with his hairstyle, echoes the ski-slopes of my winter-mind with that slanty haircut of his…as if I need any more reminders of the pleasures of swooping down the fresh layer during the hot summer days of 95 degrees plus.

12:05 am June, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

…or, as the fickle finger of douche-fate intimates, ‘UP yours, and down Furby’s.”
ANd be careful not to crunch the hott, while you’re at it.

4:15 am June, 15 Hermit said...

Furby’s hair conceals a collection of vintage WWII era sub machine guns and a wine cellar.
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Gentlemen

6:36 am June, 15 Anonymous said...

When Furby finishes off a zesty Batin session, he likes to stick his own finger into his Browneye, and give himself a little mustache, Dirty Sanchez style.

Esse.

6:38 am June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx -7:52 pm
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Scott Farkus! What a rotten name!
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Gringo

6:44 am June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

Furby allows Grackles to breed & nest in his hair
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Chumley

6:51 am June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

It once took me 3 strokes, using my 56 degree Cleveland lob wedge, to get on the green at the 4th hole at Ponkapoag Municipal Golf & Deli, from the rough that is Furby’s hair. True Story!!!

7:37 am June, 15 UFO Destroyers said...

Good grief, when did Tim Tebow downgrade hotts and turn into the Heatmiser?

8:20 am June, 15 DarkSock said...

Whoop-di:
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Actually Creature coined “Ginger Sasquatch”.
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stepchild.

8:38 am June, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Things I just noticed:
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1) When the beer can is just about as big as you you either going to have one hell of a night or you’re going to find your underwear spackled to the ceiling.
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2) Is this a douche nursery school? Romper, bomper, stomper boo. Tell me, tell, tell me who… Seriously, we’re drawing on the walls? And badly at that? Flowers? And random shit? At least we used to draw having box lunches at the Y and tuna tacos. Kids today…

8:38 am June, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ muthafucckahs

9:18 am June, 15 Baron Von Goolo said...

Douche or not, that ginger hair geyser makes you look like a deer’s ass.
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Sporto.

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