Monday, August 29, 2011

Oldbag “Sir Ivan” Approves of the HCwDB of the Week

Oldbag “Sir Ivan,” seen yesterday in the noxious spray of white man entitlement that was our Sunday Movie of the Week, wanted to stop by with a couple of barely legals and say something:

Sir Ivan: “I’m the product of centuries of wars, plundering of the natural world, ethnic hierarchy and structural patriarchy that privileged Western white men to build vast fortunes, pass it on to their children, and then have their children’s children’s children lecture the rest of the world about hard work and libertarian by-your-bootstraps individualism. Now I will bang hot chicks I seduced with daddy’s money while I pretend it’s because of my merits as an individual.”

# posted by douchebag1
9:58 am August, 29 Chunky Pooster said...

No wonder this dudes nailing all these broads. In the second pic his peen goes above his navel. Daaaaaaaaaamn.

10:03 am August, 29 creature said...

not ‘hattin’ on Ivan….he’s douche, to be sure, but, rich dudes bangin’ a walk in closet full ‘o hookers may draw some creatch envy….but also a pass
go man go

10:09 am August, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That “Stop the Insanity” diet babe sure can pull high quality bleeths.
.
http://www.nndb.com/people/572/000030482/Susan_Powter.jpg

10:11 am August, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sir Ivan looks like a bloated Stephen Baldwin in his quintessential performance as a young Barney Rubble in the piece-du-resistance cinematic wonder Flinstones 3: Viva Rock Vegas. It’s true. See for yourself. Do not watch this if you love the Flinstones!!!!!!!
.

10:14 am August, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Susan Powter! I remember many drunken sleeps on the couch interrupted by her and Tony Little shilling their crap.
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Did you get damp in the carnage DW?

10:16 am August, 29 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The one on the left may be barely legal…but the one on the right could be her Mom….or her Madame…it matters not when dealing with low-rent publicity whores.
.
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Kardashians

10:43 am August, 29 Hurl Scheibe said...

I quite certain I scooped out Sir Ivan out of my cat’s litter box this morning. He was a bit desiccated.

10:56 am August, 29 tall guy said...

Both bleeths are fairly horrible. Ivan’s simply a tosser. No less a douche, though.

11:06 am August, 29 troy tempest said...

DB1 nailed it on this one.

11:13 am August, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

^I am in the dark, but not damp. Tree on deck and tangled in power lines, but my basement is a dry as Oprah’s crotch at a Chippendale’s show.

11:21 am August, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Add “bootlegging” to Sir Ivan’s statement and he’d be talking about Joe Kennedy Sr. and his delightful brood.
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Peloponnesains

11:21 am August, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I just saw the other picture of Sir Ivan. His disgusting outie belly button – clearly visible through his rayon “shirt”- moved me to projectile vomiting.

11:21 am August, 29 Hurl Scheibe said...

^@Douchey Walnuts – lots of small limbs and leaves but no damage to house or cars. Still no power though. That’s the bad news. The good news is that like you, my basement is as dry as Gayle King’s vajayjay at the same Chippendale’s show.

11:37 am August, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dry as Maria Schriver’s cunt at a Schwarzenegger marathon.

12:20 pm August, 29 Da Ganja Samurai said...

Henry Winkler is such a douche.

12:44 pm August, 29 Stephanie said...

What will women do for money? How low does it go? Peace sign Ivan makes me want to hurl.

12:45 pm August, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

I have an overwhelming to pull the tampon out of my snatch and start beating him all over with it. Gross? Yes. But I would love to destroy that gay-ass white suit with foul clots of gorgon uterine lining.
.
,
Spelunkers.

2:47 pm August, 29 Hermit said...

Then Sir Ivan, in an effort to assuage his guilt for being a part of the most successful, prosperous system in the world, made a shitty peace video and decided it would be nice to re-enslave the ethnic minorities. So he and other patronizers, (with the use of other people’s money,) began handing the poor slobs a pitiful government check and a squalid, government-subsidised apartment on the outskirts of the Gleaming City, in lieu of pork rinds and a shack, far out of sight of the Columned Plantation House. All he asked in exchange was their vote and the promise that they never attempt to better themselves
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Then, puffed up with self-righteous pride, he patted himself on the back for helping the poor unfortunates who were obviously too stupid to help themselves.

3:10 pm August, 29 Crazed Aborigine said...

The almost see-through white dress demands all aboriginal attention. Is there something else in this pic? I hadn’t noticed.

3:48 pm August, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I will now go and drown my sorrows with bourbon whiskey.

8:11 pm August, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

In his aged wisdom, Oldbag here has ID’d the women that mean the most: tall, long-legged and lean.
Lean meat.
Meat.
Juicy cuts.

8:19 am August, 30 Douche Wayne said...

White-on-white crime.
(Take that any way you deem applicable.)

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