Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Best Golden Globes (Bracket #1)

Here’s a category where we all win. 2011 was so overflowing with globedom, that I’m actually gonna hold two votes, so here’s Bracket #1:

Best Golden Globes Finalist #1: Boobsy McBoobster

Accompanying DJ Dudjbagos, who may or may not be in the picture, from October.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Best Golden Globes Finalist #2: Stephanie McGee

From back in April, these twin mounds of heaving cleavite and plump fertility beckon even the weariest of spiritual travelers. Stephanie may be up for the Yearly along with the Fratbros, but Stephanie’s Stephanie’s also deserve the nom (nomnom) in this category as well.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Best Golden Globes Finalist #3: The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation

From back in late August, these collegiate tanned sunshiney rays of Nativist anti-imperialism are the smallpox blankets to my societal control.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Best Golden Globes Finalist #4: Nayara’s Grapefruits

While not as overt as some of the other candidates, these twin globes require studious examination for aesthetic appreciation of their superior merits.

From early July, a darkhorse contender, but a worthy one.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Boobs.

Boobies.

Vote now.

# posted by douchebag1
6:44 am December, 7 Wedgie said...

Stephanie, because she is in the comments thread sometimes. And you gotta support the regs.

6:55 am December, 7 Hurl Scheibe said...

We stole from them their lands. It is time to give back. Reparations Now.

The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation.

That and I love brunettes.

6:55 am December, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

Boobsy McBoobster’s yogurt receptacles FTW!!!!!

6:56 am December, 7 Douchble Helix said...

None of the above.

6:57 am December, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Wedgie, pretty sure our Stephanie is a smoking hot redhead. And I shalst cast my vote for Titties #4. You know, cuz they’re covered in red cloth so thats what gets my attention. Well played Titties #4, well played.

6:57 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like Boobsy McBoobs the DJ. She has has a smile that says I like to teabag. And by teabag I mean Hot Carl.
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I not gonna get too stoned and drunk like yesterday cause I’m down to a gram, a fifth, and two beers. And I roll large.
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Let’s welcome our first all star band of the day with a nice shout out to Boobs. And by shout out I mean Dirty Snatch. Cause I like dirty snatches and boobs.

Plagos
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.

.

7:01 am December, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

To really be fair we should probably have this vote with just the boobs pictured. Perhaps cropped from each photo and then placed side by side. Who here might be able to do that? If only there was someone on here that has exhibited superior craftsmanship in that particular arena. Oh well it was worth a try.

7:07 am December, 7 CB Popped said...

They are all magnificent,,,is Nayara wearing bikini bottoms? Why is that towel there?

Fuck me, this is way harder than I envisioned.

Fuck it, Ill go with the darkhorse Nayara.

7:16 am December, 7 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

because i like my sweater cannons in the shape of peanut m&ms, nayara for the winnebagos

7:20 am December, 7 YA said...

Darkhorse.

7:24 am December, 7 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Boss, you go ahead and hold two brackets. Me, if I had a choice on holding two things, they would be Stephanie’s McGee’s McD’s. And I would hold onto them as if my life depended on it. Rutger Hauer would have to tie Stephanie to the fifth wheel on his semi-truck and me to the trailer king pin and then goose the clutch while C. Thoma Howell was flailing his arms and screaming for him to stop in order to pull us apart. And even then my pencil thin arms would simply pop out of their Mr. Scrotato Head sockets and dangle like little white paisties from the unparalleled perfection that is Stephanie McGee’s boobs.

7:31 am December, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Guess Peeniest Peen got scrapped again this year. Tough break….for only me I guess. Theres always next year.

7:31 am December, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Fucking hell!!! This is difficult!!!! Stephanies glorious melons are ideal for pumping off some major ropes onto and rather than an a-ooga noise when you squeeze them they sound like a foghorn. Its so difficult to focus though with the two sphincter crumbs flanking her, they remind me of the wigga twins from a whlie back and the fact there is a shocker and what appears to be a circle O hand gesture in the picture. Nayara’s fun bags look nice but I think are just that… to look nice they are built purely for asthetic purposes and are probably hard and cold when you go to noodle them and will end up with a black eye and broken nose if attempting a motorboat. Its a tough call between Boobsy and Holy breasteses… being parital to darker complected ladies i’m going with Holy Breasteses.

7:32 am December, 7 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Stephanie McGee’s Thirst-inducing Sweater Meats FTW.

.
.
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twin midget smugglers.

7:34 am December, 7 Red Headed Woman said...

No. 1.

7:36 am December, 7 Istandouche said...

boobsy mc boobster .

7:40 am December, 7 melvil_duchi said...

Stephanie McGee

7:40 am December, 7 ehcuodouche said...

Holy breastesses for four reasons:

1. In sympathy for the genocide carried out against our original tribes.
2. They look the least fake.
3. Her bikini is smoking, meaning we could smoke it once we took it off.
4. No other reasons are needed to vote for boobs.

7:45 am December, 7 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Bracket 1: Stephanie McGee. Even surrounded by twice the douche, they still shine like Pearl Globes in the Douchey darkness.

7:49 am December, 7 merle baggard said...

The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation

7:54 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d chew on all these chicks like Judge Judy on a rude knisch at 50% off.

7:54 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d chew on these chicks like Herman Cain on a white woman with financial issues.

8:08 am December, 7 Wedgie said...

@Nancy D.
You mean that girl isn’t a redhead? Oh, I just noticed, you’re right.
But since this vote is for the globage, I’m sticking with my vote.

8:15 am December, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Stephanie because they are the least fake looking and because I am able to maintain my boner despite the fact that she’s book-ended by two of the most odious douches imaginable.

8:19 am December, 7 Wedgie said...

^Wallnuts’ logic is indisputable. Also, my vote is still for #2. Even though it annoys me that she’s so confident she will be crowned the Queen of Boobdom that she already has the fuccen thing on.
.
.
Spoilers.

8:26 am December, 7 Juggalo 6 said...

# 2 even surrounded by pudwack douche her brestices still say lick me

8:26 am December, 7 jonezy said...

I’m gonna go #1 Booby McBooberson because those mammcicles are slightly pressed together along with a coquettish smile- happy happy joy joy, fwap fwap squirt squirt.
.
but I think we all know Stephanie has this bracket locked…

8:32 am December, 7 kneejerk said...

I can only assume the voting populace of HCWD hate real breasts.

8:34 am December, 7 Charles Douchewin said...

Even organisms that don’t have mammary glands would probably vote for Stephanie McGee.
.
.
Jealous monotremes

8:39 am December, 7 Bueller said...

Holy Breasteses Batman!

8:39 am December, 7 Mr. White said...

Iroquois Boobs just work for me for some reason. Possibly because of co-opting of Native American culture. Or possibly because of boobosity.

8:41 am December, 7 Baron Von Goolo said...

Aw gee, “they’re all winners” (pantomime handjob) but on pure cleave Stephanie pulls out in front, pun intended. She looks like Micheal Chiklis and Vin Diesel are fighting to put on the same tank top.

8:51 am December, 7 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Stephanie’s are the most awesome…and make a nice tray from whence to retrieve the alcoholic beverage of your choice.
.
.
.However, The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation are causing a Custer’s Last Stand in my pants.
.
.
.Decisions, decisions.
.
.
.THBOTIN because, as @ehcudouche and Mr. White said, we have a lot to apologize for….and I just apolo-jizzed all over my keyboard.
.
.
.Geronimos

8:58 am December, 7 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I would like a closer inspection of all the contestants. Whaddya mean, that’s “assault”?? ok, fine, I’m not a TSA inspector.
.
Since all I’m getting is a visual inspection, I’ll go with Stephanie “The Rocket Scientist” McGee FTW.

8:59 am December, 7 FredN. said...

Boobsy McBoobster.

She’s just so HAPPY to have those boobs.

9:16 am December, 7 tall guy said...

They all have their merit, although they all have their drawbacks as well. Namely the douche standing beside them. What red blooded male wouldn’t like Stephanie. I get the distinct feeling those jugs wouldn’t drop one 1/10 of a millimetre when set free. And a deserving mention goes out to The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation. What I know about Native Americans could be written on the back of a stamp, but this girl is smoking like a peace pipe. Ultimately though, Stephanie’s gravity defying melons are ripe for the picking so she definitely gets my vote in the bracket. Stephanie FTW.
Also, hey Douche Sprocket, checking out this place for lunch tomorrow. http://blog.vogueliving.com.au/2011/11/29/neild-avenue-the-hottest-new-restaurant-in-sydney/
I’ve been to a few of M. Terzini’s places and never been disappointed. Should be good!

9:29 am December, 7 FlipFriddle said...

Boobsy McBoobster for the win-boob. She puts the “Fun” in Funbags.

Get some boob.

9:33 am December, 7 baffomet said...

Boobsy McBoobster!!!

9:40 am December, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Assumptions confirmed. It’s a good day to have breasts gentlemen. On behalf of women everywhere thank you for your support. Just like a bra, its nice to know you’re there for us and them. Now I’m off to show mine to a guy holding an Open House sign, a retired war vet and an out of work clown. Adieu for now.

9:41 am December, 7 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@tall guy: I gots ta gets ta Sydney! looks delicioso and highly chomp-worthy…sorta like sweet Steph’s succulent sweater puppets…

9:54 am December, 7 Douche of Hazard said...

Iroquois nation. I also cast my vote in advance for the second round for Hot Mom Carol. Those things were aged to perfection.

10:03 am December, 7 The Dude said...

Do we have to vote for them in pairs? I’d like to be snuzzled betwixt Nayara’s left globe and the right Holy Breastease of Iroquois Nation.
.
.
If I gotta vote for a pair, Nayara’s gets mine, which is to say “causes a stirring sensation in my nads”.

10:05 am December, 7 Legedu said...

Stephanie McGee wins the Moterboat Grand Prix.

10:09 am December, 7 tall guy said...

As an moral alternative with a ‘teabag smile’, hoop earrings and boobs matrix that almost sanctifies our ogling, Boobsy McBoobster gets my runner up vote.

10:20 am December, 7 dhill0125 said...

The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation FTW. love her look.

10:22 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What a bracket! While we’re waiting for the next post we were lucky to find that one of our favourite bands was willing to time travel from the past through the black hole in Stephanie McGee’s cleavage to a live gig in Finland.
.
Men
.

10:40 am December, 7 Geoffrey said...

Boobsy McBoobster

10:43 am December, 7 Douche Springsteen said...

Stephanie McGee. ‘Nuff said.

10:46 am December, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

There is not a real pair of tits in the bunch, and that makes me sad. However, Stephanie McGee’s plastic surgeon is a skilled artist and should have his work in a museum. And by museum, I mean my sweaty clawlike hands, and I clutch onto those magnificent mamms and suckle like the a starving lesbian. Stephanie McGee FTW.

10:51 am December, 7 numbskull72 said...

Stephanie!

11:05 am December, 7 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Stephanie McGee’s cheese domes FTW. I would gladly give up my expensive addiction to strippers and scat porn to trade places with that lock of hair, caressing its way down her chest like an octopus tentacle.
.
Well…almost make me give up my stripper and scat port addiction. I’d think really hard about it first.

11:08 am December, 7 I douche, therefore I am said...

Even though I am a friend of natural boobies, and, at least from my vantage point, Steph McGee’s look the most natural, I will have to go with Boobsy on this one. She’s the one that beckons to me the strongest with visions of “Brbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrbrrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr…”

11:12 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’ma getting a bit stoned and got more booze. Another favourite will dedicate a song live for the unknown next post. But if it’s Nancy it may not be appropriate, but the chances of that are like 1 in 16 i suppose. Let us not wait any larger for Marie MacDonald MacLaighlin Lowry the ageless hot chick just plucked from her giant formaldehyde locker and she just hate douchebags.
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Sirs
.

11:32 am December, 7 Tanath said...

this is one of the hardest decisions I’ve made since deciding between Myspace and Facebook stock…stupid myspace, you didn’t even need a recession to bankrupt me…anyway, in the end I think I have to go with #1, but really, it was a tough call…

11:32 am December, 7 Doucheywallnuts said...

The Rev has inspired me to start drinking early today. Makers’ and Ginger helps pass the time on a gloomy, rainy day. And by “pass the time” I mean masterbate. It’s amazing how purple, purple can be.
.
That being said, does anyone have real ones any more? The fake ones have been improved to the point where real ones now feel fake. Real tits have gone the way of the buggy whip.

11:41 am December, 7 Collaz B. Popped said...

Maybe we should have Best Real and Best Fake tits categories?

11:55 am December, 7 idfma said...

Stephanie McGee

11:57 am December, 7 Bob McAdouche said...

I voted for Steph yesterday based on those perfectly enhanced jugs and I will do so again today. Stephanie McGee.

12:01 pm December, 7 DarkSock said...

Finalist #3 – The Holy Breasteses; because I want to be a member of her I-Lickaho tribe.
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Tote ‘um Poles

12:06 pm December, 7 Wheezer said...

I vote for Stephanie McGee’s boobies. Not only do they appear to be the largest (and perhaps filled with the most “assistance”), but her picture is the one where I most want the scrotewank quotient removed.
.
It’s the SQ factor that decided it. Otherwise, it’s a toss-off—–I mean toss-up, because as we all know, I never toss off.

12:09 pm December, 7 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I hate to interject any logic into this but the left holy breastes looks larger than the right and I’m a semetrical kind of guy. I’m still afraid Nayara’s grapefruits has a banana under his, er I mean her, towel. As fine as Boobsy McBoobster is, I have to go with the crowned queen of knockers, Stephanie McGee. They are fantastic.

12:21 pm December, 7 Phil said...

vote for boobs. we all win.

12:24 pm December, 7 Tokyo Sexwhale said...

Boobsy McBoobster Must win! Look at them! Just look at them!

12:25 pm December, 7 Wobbly Ollie said...

Gotta go with Boobsy McBoobster. Booooooiiiiiiiinnnnngggg!

12:36 pm December, 7 skrag2112 said...

Probably not going to win, but Nayara is the one I’d most like to ‘talk’ with.

1:01 pm December, 7 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Milf Nayara’s fun sweaters give me a stiffy.

1:15 pm December, 7 Ted Brogan said...

Boobsy McBoobster

1:59 pm December, 7 Vin Douchal said...

The Triple XXX Rated kinky porn side of my brain says Stephanie. The WOW side of my testes sack loves The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation. Since I do most of my thinking with my crotch gotta go with The Holy Breasteses FTW
.
She’s as purty as Fontana truck stop Annie with most of her teeth

2:16 pm December, 7 Broseidon said...

It has to be Boobsy McBoobster for the win! For it is her bosoms that I want to fleck my sea foam on to.

3:19 pm December, 7 C.G. said...

Stephanie McGee by a blowout margin. and by blowout, i mean: those doubloons are about to blow out of that shirt!

4:55 pm December, 7 Nostradouchus said...

McBoobster FTW in a blowout. Tongue and boobs versus just boobs? No contest…

McGee gets nothing from me. Attention whore, and not even that hot. She benefits from the “I’m the hottest chick in our small, extremely rural Midwest town” phenomenon. In ten years she’ll be a fatty.

5:15 pm December, 7 Lord Whac-a-douche said...

The Powhatan nation sure delivered on this one. I vote Pocahontas and dream of a time past where confederate soldiers could have their way with the suckle-thigh tribes.

5:31 pm December, 7 ilove trevor said...

#1

7:37 pm December, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The angry red tomahawk in my pants is on the warpath for the Iroquois nation.

7:42 pm December, 7 Guns-N_douche said...

Mmmmm Boobsy McBoobster.

I vote for her. And by vote I mean jerk off all over her bewbs. Sorry, no creativity tonight.

8:46 pm December, 7 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Gotta give it the the Iroquois. Least likely to be fakies

10:07 pm December, 7 Whoop-di-douche said...

Stephanie McGee and her fellow Jug Band make a fine roster for BOOBS, altogether now…and she, of BOOBIES alone.

11:51 pm December, 7 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Boobsy McBoobster takes best in class…BOOBS Class, that is.

12:35 am December, 8 Stephanie said...

Stephanie.

1:51 am December, 8 Douchey McDouche said...

Stephanie

3:16 am December, 8 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Holy Breastesses. She could peace my pipe anytime.

3:57 am December, 8 YA said...

Changing my vote from Darkhorse to Boobsy

5:36 am December, 8 Olddog said...

Stephanie McGee. It’s the combo of globes of perfection and camouflager that does it for me. Plus, she’s the one I remember from way back when.

5:38 am December, 8 Olddog said...

Camouflage, my kingdom for an edit button!!

7:08 am December, 8 FoghornLeghorn said...

Boobsy #1, please.

8:20 am December, 8 the douche is alright said...

nayara

10:22 am December, 8 Cmak said...

Stephanie and Baron’s comment FTW!

11:37 am December, 8 riverdouche said...

The holy breasteses. I like the way she holds that can.

2:57 pm December, 8 douche equis said...

It has to be Boobsy McBoobster. As the Holy Modal Rounders almost said, ya gotta like Boobsy a lot!

9:03 pm December, 8 Douche Enforcement Administration said...

Boobsy McBooster’s dance floor bouncybounce.

1:24 pm December, 9 army (ret) douche said...

Iroquois

12:58 pm December, 12 Alex said...

#1 with her wondrous mounds of plastic surgery.

12:41 pm December, 13 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

The Holy Breasteses of the Iroquois Nation despite the aviators which I didn’t noticed the first twenty times I saw the pic.

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