Monday, December 5, 2011

HCwDB of the Year: Bracket 1

Bring it. The first of three brackets of three in the semifinals, to determine our final three in next week’s HCwDB of the Year. Each bracket consists of three Monthly winners plus one Wild Card of uberdouchery that deserves consideration.

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #1: The Smarm Candy and Patti

From mid-March, this Monthly winner brought uberdouchey attitude, Members Only craptastitude, and the tasty girl-next-door gigglefest that is Patti.

This pic is a deceptively simple battle of hottie/douchey cohabit, and should not be immediately dismissed.

Look at Smarm Candy’s face.

Look at it!

Now look away.

Now back at it!

Douche.

Mmmm… Patty’s next door chomple gnaw.

Quality.

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #2: Gynochin and Brunette Rhea

Our first HCwDB of the Month from back in February, Gynochin’s power of stupidface and perfect hottness of Brunette Rhea took down the powerhouse Carla and the Bros ™, and Vegas Staypuft Pantywankers in a Gynochinslide.

But Gynochin didn’t stop gynologizing there.

There was also Gynochin with Perky Peri. And there was

Gynochin and Rhea and Gynopenis Nose.

Yechhhhh. Doucheface abounds like rotting corpustules.

That’s a potent combination of douche face and uberhottness, well worthy of consideration to make the 2011 Finals.

But there’s two more to come:

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #3: The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee

Boobs and Bros.

A potent and toxic combination, captured perfectly in frozen HCwDB dialectic.

Do not pshaw the Tard Bros and Steph McGee’s McGees at taking the first slot in the Yearly finals.

For they are collective real world hiphop wigga Eminem or that flash in the pan Asher kid from the suburbia rot.

They make me diaper crap in my future depends when I retire.

They eat linseed oil.

And puke it up

Okay, one more. The wildcard:

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #4: The Greasepitz and Stephanie and Suzanne

Barely losing in the Monthly to The Smarmcandy, the Greasepitz built up quite a (greasy) body of professsional Paid-to-Douche work over the year. Beginning with Stephanie and Suzanne in February, witness the run:

The Greasepitz Take a Break
The Greasepitz Pump Each Other Up
Crazy Eyes Killa (Real Name is Jared)
Name that Greasepitz
The Greasepitz Pose with the Amanda Sisters
Tommy Greasepitz is not Intimidated by the HCWDB of the Week

Yech. And quality hotts all around.

But enough to win entrance into the Finals of the Yearly?

Now I turn it over to you.

Which coupling most deserves consideration to compete in the HCwDB of the Year?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
6:45 am December, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Yes, regarding how Shithouse won last year’s ‘Bag O’ The Year Trophy, these grease stains how how it’s done: With Hot Chicks!

6:46 am December, 5 Ted Brogan said...

Gynochin and Rhea. While the Greasepitz pictures are increasingly vile (in whichever order you choose to view them), there are just too many of them.

6:51 am December, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Sometimes the horror recedes: Check out the walking semen ashtrays with the Staypuft Pantywankers.

6:59 am December, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea, cause Gynochin is Bag and he knows it, lives it and revels in it, the others don’t even realize that they’re bags. Gynochin is a pro and the others in this bracket are rank amateurs.

7:01 am December, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Smarm candy has a Puerto Rican stank ‘stache which deserves a standing O’ for douchery itself. The Tardopolous brothers make me feel sorry for thier dad’s testicles as they were the fastest 2 swimmers those two smoldering prunes could produce. I doubt when the chicks aren’t around the greasepitz can keep their well oiled paws off one another. I’m going with gynochin on this one, Gynochin looks like the 1950’s version of the Wolfman who spent too much time in the tanning bed and exudes the aura of born rich WASPy shit head entitlement with the doche lips and overly quaffed Paul Mitchell hair and Karl Lagerfeld sensibility.

7:08 am December, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Patty cause she is just way out of his universe and what ever his name is. I love her in a wholesome way. And by wholesome I mean prematurely.
.
I’m honored to have chosen myself as the executive producer of the soundtrack of the 2011 Doucheys. Let start off with today’s and maybe tomorrows guest Jeff Lynne and the sultry hippiesm of Rosie Vela.
.

7:12 am December, 5 Wedgie said...

Those two shiny guys. They’re just trying so hard to be in it this year; who am I to deny their dream?

7:12 am December, 5 Wedgie said...

^And by that I mean #4.

7:13 am December, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

A most fitting first round for Douchebag of the Year. And by fitting I mean hotties. And by hotties I mean boobs.
.
As I watch my two young tator tots maturing into fine teenage boys, I find my mind wandering more and more to the future. What will it hold for them? What world will they inherit? What opportunities will await them?
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And my eyes drift upwards in this thread to The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee, and my eyes fill with tears and my coffee mug falls to the floor. For their future will be awash with “Bro! ‘Sup bro!?”, and scribbled tats, and crass, mind numbing club music, and the air will be blackened with the stench of Axe, nut sweat, and spray on tan. And there will be hats tilted such that they serve no purpose whatsover save to advertise the same company that produces the shirt and pants beneath. And there will be much parking lot frollicking. Oh yes, there will be frollicking, unemployed homo-erotic, cheap beer fueled frollicking.
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But there will be boobies. Glorious, pushed-up, glowing, shirt stretching, pants swelling, fwap fwaf fwap inducing, bouncy boobies.
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And so their lives won’t be that bad.
.
The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee for the Win, our collective future for the ash heap. In twenty years the Greeks will stop futiley scrounging through Germany’s waste piles for a leaf of moldy cabbage just long enough to look west to what was once the great United States, and say as a collective “F*ck, so glad I don’t live over there.”

7:14 am December, 5 icame isaw idouched said...

Gynochin just because he’s fuccen horrible.

7:15 am December, 5 Leo said...

Finalist #3: The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee

7:16 am December, 5 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

gynochin has a face that could sell louisville sluggers to malaysian chewong.

7:17 am December, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Jeff Lyne’s sunglasses remind me of some hott from last year (2010?) with a great bod, but she was wearing big sunglasses, so there was HoH resistance.
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But that’s not the point. Somebody, The Baron maybe, provided a computer-aided enhanced image of what she might look like behind them too-big specs.
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Funniest goddam thing you ever saw. Can anybody help me out here?

7:23 am December, 5 Mr. White said...

Gynochin and Rhea. I’d elaborate, but I’m getting killed at work, and we’re about to have some Merry Christmas Layoffs. I’ll start writing drug-fueled novellas like Rev. Chad once I get canned.

7:26 am December, 5 Southern Scrotic said...

Gyno-Rhea for the win.

7:26 am December, 5 Southern Scrotic said...

Why does it burn when I pee?

7:28 am December, 5 CB Popped said...

Gotta go with Gynochin, he’s pulling serious Brunette hotts and his douchal purity rate is so high.
He even has his own style take with a “Popped Collar” which I assumed was going out of style w/ izod fratboys and the Norweigan sniper dude.

Greasepitz are hilarious though.

7:38 am December, 5 dhill0125 said...

Gynochin FTW, though Greasepitz are a close second

7:38 am December, 5 Hurl Scheibe said...

A difficult decision, at first blush. But in the end, I’m going with the Smarm Candy.

The Greasepitz (of which there is really only one – Tommy because the pics each have a different counterpart) is just a paid to pose douche. And although he has all the douche signifiers, the roided body, idiotic tattoos, at least he has a smile on his face.

The Tardopoulous Twins are idiots and the Tiara is a dead give away of paid to pose.

Gynochin? Yeah, he’s a true douche bag idiot but he also appears to perhaps have some money is his wallet, which might explain the chicks.

But to me, the essence of this website is what on earth is a good looking girl doing going out with a turd like that? And the Smarm Candy wins this bracket in that regard hands down. For Patti is all that is right, good and innocenct. The girl next door smile, the pearly whites, the puppy dog eyes. All of it spoiled by that fecal remnant that is the Smarm Candy. The jacket, those ridiculous sunglasses and of course that smarmy, pouty douchey kissy pucker that projects that sense of entitlement as if there should be no question that such a man rightfully belongs with so hott a boobie suckle.

It’s wrong and it makes me angry and for that my vote goes to the Smarm Candy. With a Doc Marten to the gonads for the the win.

7:51 am December, 5 Tony said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea FTW

7:52 am December, 5 Nostradouchus said...

Gynochin FTW. It’s not even a contest. I’ve never seen someone fail so badly at duckface in my life.

8:04 am December, 5 Scooby Douche said...

I looked at all the photos, paying close (and rapt) attention to the boobies and suckle thigh. I formulated my opinions, and began to formulate my comments, then decided to read all the other votes first.

And damn if Hurl Scheibe didn’t hit this nail right on the head. My hat is off to you sir! And may a wayward camel in heat mistake Smarm for his mate….

Patti FTW and Smarm for the industrial trash compactor.

8:06 am December, 5 the grateful douche said...

#2 ftw

8:11 am December, 5 SonnyChibaChoad said...

GynoChinballian and Brunette Rhea FTW..cuz Rhea is Insta-Splooge-inducing. Ratio is so high that Gynochin could get a RLR and still win (lose)

8:15 am December, 5 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Stephanie McGee made me mcgoo in my underpants…and may have the greatest covered rack I’ve ever seen…but the hott alone cannot control the subtle interplay/dialectic of desirable chick with offensive dude that is the epistemological essence of this site. Unfortunately, her companions — the Tardopoulous boyz — are just putz’s placed within the aura of her paid to pose perfection.
.
.
.The Greasepitz Bros. are male dancers/whores; paid to pose himbos that populate Vegas in summer like dung beetles in a pile of shit. They are too common, and thus, in what must seem counter-intuitive to some, must be denied any more recognition on this site that they’ve already received.
.
.
.Smarm Candy is just too worthless and generic in his douche-i-tude, and therefore, must be denied the win(loss).
.
.
But Gynochin…oh Gynochin…you are the real deal aren’t you? With hair extended and highly practiced douche faces…not to mention the slick as snot outfits…you are the most smarmily self-aware of all the pudster’s in this competition…a douche who knows, just KNOWS how cool he is. And what could me more hip than putting a penis on your nose? A not-so-subtle reference to those two-pronged dildos that our gay brethren strap to their heads/jaws, allowing for double penetration while they do who knows what with the rest of their face. The difference being, with a jaw-line that’s longer than Tolstoy, you could dispense with the lower half of the apparatus. Yes, Gynochin, that is what you are and all you will ever be: a human chin dildo — a flesh and blood fake embodiment of a real (lame) sex toy.
.
.
Gynochin FTW.

8:21 am December, 5 Sergeant Poop said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea hands down. If not for the sheer hotness of Rhea, for the sheer height of Gynochin’s hair.

Keep in mind people, douchebag alone is not enough to win this award. It’s a real team effort.

8:24 am December, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

Totally Gynochin. I lectured him to douche up in the comments thread and he did not disappoint me. You go Gyno, you deserve it buddy. And Rhea down the road you might wanna consider a reverse frontal labotomy.

8:29 am December, 5 Olddog said...

I just got to go with Gynochin and Brunette Rhea. But each and every one is a winner in there own way.

8:30 am December, 5 melvil_duchi said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea

8:30 am December, 5 Whizzinator said...

All the way with Gyno.

8:35 am December, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Gynochin is society’s afterbirth. Rhea is vapid hot and I could hate fuck her for the rest of my life. Or until she put on 5 kilo. Whichever comes worst. Gyno FTW.

8:36 am December, 5 Istandouche said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea. His face is the most smack-worthy among the strong competition. And Rhea?… yeah…

8:38 am December, 5 Leon Brothabag said...

Greasepitz!

8:39 am December, 5 Charles Douchewin said...

Gynochin (and Rhea) for the win.

The Gynochin’s work, while not as extensive as say the Greasepitz, would make for an exemplary – and unfortunately memorable – HCwDB of the year award.

8:39 am December, 5 Douche of Hazard said...

Gyno. He is way too comfortable with his doucheyness. She doesn’t add a lot to the equation, but it’s enough.

8:43 am December, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I have my mutha fuccin login working again. Mary fuccin shit-mouse and happy poo-fear. God bless. Me.

8:46 am December, 5 Juggalo 6 said...

The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee
Nothing makes my day like we tods and boobs

8:49 am December, 5 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Gynochin and Rhea. If they don’t go through, Rhea needs immediate consideration as Most Expensive First Date Hott and by ‘consideration’ I mean unrequited wood.

8:51 am December, 5 hermit said...

Gynochin’s chin is another graphic example of why tranvestite reconstructive surgeons should go easy on the Fix-a-flat®.

9:01 am December, 5 RAPETIME said...

Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee.

My penis doesn’t hate them the same way it hates Gynochin, but my penis keeps reminding me that it loves Stephanie in a very special way, a way that should be shared with no one else save for a couple of Asian schoolgirl fluffers, a pint of lube, a freshly laundered stack of towels, and a film crew.

9:09 am December, 5 Jeet Kune Douche said...

My analysis forthwith:
1. Smarm Candy and Patti – JESUS CHRIST!!! Look at the FRISBIE on that pustulent gonohrreal Choad’s left wrist!!! Then the stupid hair, steeoopid glasses, face pubes, kissy lips that just BEG for a high speed encounter with a brass knuckled fist……..and all wrapped around a sweet, honeysuckle innocence, a drop of pure sunshine, a blossoming flower, a warm, glowing, pure amber nectar such as Patti…….gawd almighty, it oughta be ILLEGAL.
DEFCON 1 rating for this one.
2. Gynochin and Rhea – those kissy lips need to have an energetic encounter with a street curb, the facial hair needs to be shaved off with a blowtorch, and that bouffant trimmed aggressively with a chainsaw. And GET YER TOXIC METROSESSUAL HANDS OFF’N that slurpalicious brunette vixen before you drive her stage 1 bleethiness into the red zone!
ANOTHER Defcon 1 rating. My god, what a FILTH.
3. Tardopolous Bros and Stephanie – weak. Too obviously posed. I bet they paid Stephanie $100 to have their pic taken with her, after which she ran home and showered whilst the Bros stood at the side of the dance floor, clutching their sasparillas wiht a white knuckled death grip, invisible to the entire crowd.
Not even worth a Defcon rating.
4. Greasepitz and ladies – by comparison with 1 and 2, this seems almost wholesome and innocent. Granted, the Greasepitz are douches, but this could almost be a prom pic. Douchecon 3 at worst.

Final choice:
Gynochin and Rhea.
Gynochin emits a baleful aura that simply invites one to chase him down the street, bellowing like a banshee and swinging a fire axe. Smarm Candy will soon wilt and melt off delectable, pure Patti the way a tar stain dissolves with turpentine under a tropical Sun. But creatures like Gynochin need to be hounded and eliminated from the gene pool like the World Health Organization eradicated smallpox.

9:11 am December, 5 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Gynochin ! Not the “sign of the bag” a.k.a. dick and balls forehead, the guy actually WORE A DICK ON HIS HEAD ! Throw in his accompanying a couple of serious hotts and the douche gets my vote.

9:14 am December, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Gynochin and the bevy of obviously not his girlfriends posing FTW. B Rhea brings the circulation straight to the loinal region and deserves the Bleeth coupling with this mold ridden turd.

9:30 am December, 5 army (ret) douche said...

due to mulltipul douches in the pitz and burbs. (i am a strong believer that bag of the year cannot be awarded to a team) gynochin an rhea have a pass into he next round

9:34 am December, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

I can’t be the only one that just googled “chewong”.

9:35 am December, 5 jonezy said...

maybe I’m just old school, but I feel like the HCwDBotY cannot have a chance at winning with only a single photo entry- so, this bracket is already down to 2 for me, but oh boy do I love the Hotts in those pics.
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Between the Greasers and the Gyno, I’ll reluctantly take Gyno as my vote, as P2P has that aura of ingenuous douching. Even though Gyno looks like he could very well be a gay-bag.
.
Gyno and random Hotts for bracket #1 DBotY (pronounced “duh-boo-she”)

9:43 am December, 5 Bob McAdouche said...

The Tard Bros. Stephanie’s unattainable hottness pushes them over the edge.

9:47 am December, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The voting is hot today and so is this number from Jeff and Rosie. I’d lick Jeff’s dead taint to take a crack at the now 57 year old Rosie.
.
Take it away kids:
.

10:06 am December, 5 Red Headed Woman said...

No. 2.

10:21 am December, 5 James said...

I was gonna vote for Gynochin but upon closer inspection I realized that Smarm has his eye CLOSED when the picture was taken! That is creepness to the wazoo. This is pedophile/rapist territory when one enjoys the reverse bear hug so much, probably burying his 3″ boner between patti’s cheeks. Smarm FTW.

10:50 am December, 5 Redneckbag said...

The very name of the site HCwDB puts our priorities in order for us.
Hot Chicks.
The hottest Hot Chick here is Stephanie McGee. That alone is enought to warrant a vote in their, um, favor. The Tard-bros are generic Douche Bags,m but then, aren’t they all?
#3 Steph and the Tard-Bros FTW.

10:57 am December, 5 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Despite the Preparation H slathered abs of the Greasepitz, I’m throwing my vote (and shoe) at Gynochin and Brunette Rhea.
.
Doe-eyed Brunette Rhea is all that is perfect about soft clavicle nuzzling innocence. I would unquestioningly commit sepuku with a jelly dong rolled in fermented barley malt syrup and twisted bits of broken staples for the mere chance of getting to be awkwardly fondled in a flooded boiler room by Rhea’s middle school orthodontist’s creepy uncle, Ted.
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Gynochin is pompous kissy-faced, squinty-eyed bombasticy of the umpteenth degree that makes you want to take a pair of knuckle dusters to his scraggled face testes until (insert Jay Leno chin joke here) his face!

10:58 am December, 5 idfma said...

Two things:
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–DB1 please put Stephanie McGee in a separate category. The Tardopoulous Brothers are non-entities, even as douches. Stephanie is the embodiment of surgically enhanced beauty.
–I have to choose between Gyonchin and the Greasepitz? That’s like choosing between getting head from Stephanie or from Rhea…can’t I have both?
.
No, I can’t, so Gynochin it is, and I know I can’t have either, but I still wouldn’t like choosing.

10:58 am December, 5 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Props must be given for Stephanie McGee’s boobs. Even her hair is trying to get in on the tit fucking action.

11:11 am December, 5 skrag2112 said...

Gynochin, or as I call him, Mumps.

11:33 am December, 5 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Gynochin FTMDOACITM and the Bracket 1 victory.


Doctors

11:59 am December, 5 tall guy said...

While I appreciate the down home purity of Patti’s face’n’smile her slightly less than exacting features don’t escape my critical eye. Disproportionally skinny legs – c’mon, they’re nearly as narrow as those truck stop waitress arms – and the makings of a gut indicate the insidious yet elementary spadework of a 10 megaton starch bomb will not be stopped even by the vomit inducing repulsiveness of smarm candy’s 18lb watch. #3 has its merits i.e. the breastiliciousness of Stephanie. Unfortunately the pierced navel has not does not nor will it ever augur well with my world view of what’s cool, what’s desirable or simply, what looks good. It’s like that fat chick I see at meetings whose name rhymes, unsurprisingly, with nanny. As phoney as an Arab at Yom Kippur and as try hard as her wannabe tough guy boyfriend. Hey bitch, you know I’m very fit, what you don’t yet know is just how much damage i’ll do to his already damaged face so jump in your Jeep and drive off a cliff. Next! If Greasepitz on right were a solo he’d probably score my vote. If only in the semi-final category. So horrid so brash. Clearly, he so doesn’t get it. Unfortunately he’s tandem and, as was mentioned when the pair made their debut, he’s from Brisbane, Australia (unconfirmed). Based on that they’re losers (wieners) losers. I hate Brisbane. And Queensland. And all who live there. So obvi it’s Gynochin and Brunette Rhea. Rhea is all that’s lovely in dumb brunette, face jizzin’, hair pull (well not by me) and Gynochin validates, justifies and above all rationales his own presence with such unabashed glee (the filthy cretin) that to overlook him as the winner (loser) of this round disavows all currently available logic and intelligence regarding the future of the species. Gynochin and Brunette Rhea FTW.

12:13 pm December, 5 Sir Douchalot said...

Gotta go with Gnochin. He’s got the George Michael 80’s douchelook going. He’s quarter midge and pulling hotts like that. And I can’t tell if he’s doing the kissy lips, has lip implants, or his chin is so enormous he normally looks like that. Probably all 3 which makes him so worthy of the ultimate prize!

12:31 pm December, 5 Troy Tempest said...

Gynochin. Why? Because I can tell he’s trying not to hurl from having guzzled a 750 of Goose, and he makes me want to drink a 750 of Goose and hurl too.

Vomit and nausea is the order of the day for these two.

Rhea? Well, she’s about as dumb as they come, but when she comes, that’s when the fun starts.

12:44 pm December, 5 DarkSock said...

Stephanie McGee’s Dairy Queens are working hard to hold aloft their own mighty mammarian majesty; alas they are not enough to carry the Tardopoulous Bros.
.
I ogle Patti’s peppermint-peen palimpsest of poonanny like a slow-cruising Sandusky leering through the dirtly windshield of a wood-grain paneled PT Cruiser at a playground; “next door chomple gnaw” indeed; but she is reduced to being this Choad’s Smarm Candy, and he invokes vanilla reflux instead of rage.
.
BUT the final two…The Huge Man o’ Pee of it all…
.
The Greasepitz exhibit a body of work that while impressive also appeared to all take place at the same place in the same night, and there’s a certain inverted je ne sais quoi about them that makes me toss around French phrases I don’t quite understand…but I smell Paid-To-Pose on these Choads of Colossus. And Preparation H. Lots of that. And a dribble of Santorum.
.
But then there is the insufferable Gynochin and sweetness on a stick, Brunette Rhea, who poops butterflies and lilacs…
.
Back in my hazy freshman year of college in architecture school there was this one egg-dick of a rich-kid prick named Paul (is it just me or is every guy named Paul a fuck-stick?). He was the prototypical trust fund gimp, pantomiming his way through college until he turned 21 and got the keys to the Kingdom. And by “keys” I mean “cocaine”, and by “Kingdom” I mean “gold-digger vagina”. Anyway, this primping fop drove a brand new Nissan Z-300, had the best drafting tools (we drew by hand back then…), lived off-campus in a swank apartment, etc. I remember him going out of his way to park next to my $400 beat-in ’73 Toyota Corona which had an $800 stereo in it (priorities…) just to show me the sound system his Dad’s aerospace engineers installed in his brand new ‘Z, just to suck up to the Old Man. It sounded like ass; all tweeters, no bass…but he went on and on about the pristine sound. My ride could shake your chest from 50 feet but he merely said “that bass muddies up my envisioning of the sound stage”. He could ignore reality, pretend his wack shit was gold, and when he (predictably) dropped out of architecture studio after the first month of 80-hour weeks and Monday due dates (aka you can’t take your laundry home for Consueala to do) his ass left, no doubt to become a Wall Street Douchebag that sent the US down the toilet.
.
Paul looked just like this asshole. In fact I do believe this IS Paul. He is smugness incarnate; a modern-day Arfy white-manning and glad-handing his way through a falsely privileged life, oblivious to his uber-schlort failiarity on a level not observed since that pin-beaked Arthur Kinkade wannabe actor narcissist dude we mocked last year, or whatever his name was…I want to imbed an M-80 in his chin-butthole and detonate it so his jaw meat looks like a frayed meat version of his ridiculous hair-don’t.
.
It makes the dichotomy of his pairing with sultry nibble-kitten Brunette Rhea all the more maddening.
.
Gynochin and Brunette Rhea’s pristine, perfect ball-draining chesticles FTW.
.
Queenslanders.

1:08 pm December, 5 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

No contest. Gynochin wins bracket one in a landslide. This perfect specimen of soul rot really should have had a first round bye

1:20 pm December, 5 SonnyChibaChoad said...

DarkSock had the whole box of Comment-Wheaties today.
.
.
.
Neposians

1:31 pm December, 5 Doucheywallnuts said...

Gyñochin. He and his bleeth double the displeasure offered by the GreasePitz and their herpettes. The others didnt stand a chance.

1:34 pm December, 5 Blind Squirrel said...

A sock full of padlocks swung into Gyno’s face would be delightful. Gyno FTW.

1:38 pm December, 5 FoghornLeghorn said...

I gotta go with Smarm Candy. He’s far greasier than Gynochin, and he attaches himself to the back side of unsuspecting teenagers. Poor Patti will probably never get the stain out.

2:07 pm December, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea! Why? Any hott that is willing to get her face speculumed by this failed proctologist is OK in my book.

2:16 pm December, 5 tall guy said...

@ Dark Sock, not wanting to be controversial but that above is better reading (for me) than your CPoNS sub. You’re good.

2:33 pm December, 5 Anonymous said...

Smarm candy FTW, I hate tjhat guy.

3:00 pm December, 5 Wheezer said...

Gynochin looks as if he has taken the sole of a steel-toed boot to the face, but it wasn’t my shoe! That pisses me off, and so does he, so he gets my vote.
.
Perhaps the Mighty Thor will find me worthy of using his hammer Mjolnir so I can crush Gyno’s—–hey, wait a minute; that’s not what I meant! Guys? Hello?

3:09 pm December, 5 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

#3 and #4 really seem to deserve each other, so there is no wrongness there. They are out.

Take away the smarm from #1 and you have nothing. Just a stupid haircut and some sunglasses he got for $2.00 at a flea market. If the camera snapped a few seconds later, the picture would barely be weekly worry.

But the choad runs clear to the bone with Gynochin, as he shows with a solid hat trick of pudocity. And I want Perky Peri to be the next estranged Mrs. Douchely.

3:45 pm December, 5 Douche Springsteen said...

I have nothing but turgid adoration for Stephanie McGee and her rack (which should be tough to beat for Golden Globes) but the other 2 boobs in the picture are bush-league. The Greasepitz make a strong case but are a little too over-the-top and I’m not entirely sure they’re attracted to the women. If it was up to me, this bracket would go to Smarm Candy and Patti. That smirk alone is enough to angry up the blood, but combined with the faux-hawk, aviator shades indoors, and the Members Only jacket, he’s at least a level 3 bag. Patti is all kinds of real world, girl-next-door hottie suckle thigh that should be nowhere near this pile of steaming poo.

4:19 pm December, 5 C.G. said...

The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee

firstly, the rack is A++ (the extra A is for the extra succulence). and even though they may appear amateurish when it comes to douchebags, this isn’t a possible instance of impromptu/accidental douche-face smirk like the other candidates. these two are losers …all day …every day …for the rest of their lives.

4:23 pm December, 5 Mr. Biggs said...

Gynochin’s smarmy self-satisfied smirk trumps all. It is all that is toxic and rage-worthy of the HCwDB coupling.

5:13 pm December, 5 Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabbadouche (formerly One for the Choad) said...

I hope my new name doesn’t infringe upon any existing commenters….

This one really goes down to the hott. Patti’s nice, but we’ve had dozens of GND hotts walk these halls who are far more worthy. Stephanie McGee – no. Stephanie and Suzanne look like every other girl in da club, with no distinguishing features. Death to the whole Stepford babe trend. It’s all right to have curly hair, ladies.

This leaves Rhea, who looks stunning even though you just know that isn’t even close to being the best picture ever taken of her. Also, Gynochin is rocking at least four signifiers of douchedom. Gynochin and Rhea ftw.

6:19 pm December, 5 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

I still want to hit Gynochin. In the face. Repeatedly. With Medusa’s car. Fuck, I hate him.

6:35 pm December, 5 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Three words: Guy No Chin!
.
If this DB doesn’t win this bracket going away I will hang up my internet and live on a commune in the Himalayas.

7:01 pm December, 5 Stephanie said...

Rotting face Gynochin and Rhea.

7:15 pm December, 5 ehcuodouche said...

Gynochin, the guy’s working on quite the portfolio.

7:23 pm December, 5 Douchey McDouche said...

It’s the Smarm Candy and Patti for me.

7:28 pm December, 5 soy bomb said...

For personal reasons, I limit my votes to pictures of one hott and one ‘bag; eliminating The Greasepitz, Stephanie and Suzanne and The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee. Sorry folks, but ‘dems my slightly-OCD rulez. The Smarm Candy and Gynochin feature two of the most “Cinderblock to the Head Worthy” faces we’ve ever seen ’round these parts, and should be awarded accordingly. I trust the committee who decides these matters to do the right thing. In the meantime, I’m allowing the HC to sway my vote a bit, due to the “photo finish” quality of our douches. Brunette Rhea has an aura of naïveté around her which indicates to the viewer that she really doesn’t know any better, and is thusly being taken advantage of on a deeper level by our antagonist, Gynochin. Gynochin and Brunette Rhea FTW.

8:45 pm December, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Indy Choad–take both cars. Wanna make sure you finish the job.
.
Gynochin is the embodiment of all the world’s unfairness; the janitor gets canned and loses his life’s savings while the CEO of the company gets a 14 million dollar bonus. The young couple in the suburbs struggles with infertility, while the crack whore in the ghetto shits out her seventh baby and beats it with a belt until the state takes it away. Walmart sells Hot Wheels cars to joyful American kids for a buck; the man in Malaysia who made the car will never be able to afford one for his own child. Bill Hicks dies while Carrot Top lives. And Gynochin snickers into his fizzy girl drink, manhandling Brunette Rhea while real men are home alone. I weep for all the world’s suffering and inequality, and cast my vote for Gynochin.

4:25 am December, 6 CB Popped said...

Damn straight Medusa.

9:22 am December, 6 SauceOfTheDouche said...

I have to give my vote to The Tardopoulous Brothers and Stephanie McGee. All the other douches in this round look like they come by it naturally, but the Tards are really working at it to the point that their hands cramp up. Exactly what gangsta sign are they trying for? And poor camou-clad Princess Steph demonstrates her worthiness by twisting herself to minimize contact with these tools. She smiles because she knows she can do better. With those lovely pillows, I know damned well she can!

10:01 am December, 6 Douche Enforcement Administration said...

Gyno’s tool attitude is deadly serious. His douche maneuvers have a proven track record of hott-pulling. His self-assuredness has grown bigger than his ball-sweaty chin. Out of these four, he is clearly the greatest threat to our suckle-thigh supply.

Rhea has splooge-inducing starry doe eyes.

7:39 pm December, 6 Douchelips said...

Gynochin and Brunette Rhea FTW!

11:30 pm December, 6 JK said...

I hereby vote for
HCwDB of the Year Finalist #2: Gynochin and Brunette Rhea

7:06 am December, 7 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’ve dragged my heels long enough. Time to get voting.
.
And by voting, I mean Brunette Rhea FTW. And ol’ whathisname. Gynochin? sounds like an affliction, not a name.
.
As is fitting, all the hotts are hott. The MILF sisters are the least bleethy of the lot, ‘Boobs’ McGee probably has the IQ of a turnip (and now that I’ve said that, it turn out she’s actually a rocket scientist), and Patti ought to know better, but engages in the lifestyle voluntarily. Sadly, Rhea has that vacant stare: the lights are on, but no one is home. Perhaps it’s the effects of the roofie that ol’whathisname slipped her earlier?

11:28 am December, 7 I douche, therefore I am said...

While I find the Greasepitz most disgusting, Gynochin is just so much douchier. And putting the Hott into the equation, there’s just no way past Rhea.

8:12 am December, 8 the douche is alright said...

gynochin and rhea

1:13 pm December, 8 douche equis said...

Gyno-Rhea indeed. Southern Scrotic, my hat, if I wore one, would be off to you. They are my pick as well . . . although he will not win the Yearly, the urge-to-punch-in-face, my infallible indicator, is strong with this one, and Rhea, well . . . call me.

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