Monday, March 12, 2012

HCwDB of the Week: Mickey the Polyp and Savannah

With a two week backlog of doucheritis to chew through like a masticating arthritic cow cudding a salt lick, it wasn’t an easy task to pick a winning (losing) couple.

But pick, I did, with pickled picklings.

Wait, that sounded vaguely inappropriate.

We saw Rusty Trombones and all sorts of crap, Oldbag Harold and Herspter LaVar.

But none were more spleen plexing and perplexingly spleeny than Mickey the Polyp and Savannah.

Chalk ‘em for the next monthly.

And your grizzled narrator for oatmeal with raisins.

# posted by douchebag1
7:50 am March, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

If I’m not mistaken that is some mullata goodness that even the Rev Chad would hit.

.

The Polyp is rockin’ a Rebel Spirit shirt and by rockin I mean he is neither a rebel or has any spirit sheep that he is.

http://www.rebelspiritclothingstore.com/SearchResults.asp?Cat=1909

8:39 am March, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d hit it in a minute. Tight young body. Crooked nose she wants fixed so she hangs aroung with this fung face cause he said he’d buy her a rhinoplasty when he gets his new Devil Bank Jimmy Fallon no credit check required gold card. Dr. Schminkle don’t work cheap yo.

.

God has continued his smackdown on Canadian skiiers. Two dead and Whitney too? Come on God I don’t need that shit. Curling on TV was riveting last night as Ontario’s Howard rink kept Koe to a steal in the 10th end for a one point win in the Tim Horton’s Briar finals. Good times.

.

Douchey Wallnuts humour is a hit in this shitty town. Everywhere I go, I find many people but mainly myself ending every proclamation of truth and tomfoolery with the universally accepted affirmation of speaking in the first person. “I says.” I says.

.

Good times. Son. I says.

8:48 am March, 12 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I hate to be disgusting this early in the morning…but that thing on Mickey’s face looks like something you’d get from licking another man’s anus.

.

.

.I’m sure she shits nothing but strawberry yogurt…laced with the residue of crystal meth.

.

.Salad Tossers

9:05 am March, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

I just crawled out from under my rock and saw they’re making a 21 Jump Street movie. Now who is going to play Greico?

9:35 am March, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Smelt. Not the fish, but what he texted her the first time they met, “I smelt your hair mixt w the gas station fumes n fell in luv.. U R mine”

10:20 am March, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Carefully and gently excise that cancerous polyp with a biopsy knife and place it in a strong solution of formalin in a specimen jar and send it off to Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche Labs for douche analysis, categorization and indexing then placement in the Grieco wing of douche curiosities at the Smithsonian Institute.

10:35 am March, 12 tall guy said...

Dreuche, I have thought you were a real fan of Da Street.

11:23 am March, 12 The Dude said...

Maybe Greico can make a time-travel appearance like Leonard Nimoy did in the Star Trek remake with the guy who went on to do those Geico ads. See kids, this shit keeps rolling around like a life stew.

11:59 am March, 12 tall guy said...

I was never a fan of Mickey the Polyp and Savannah. Mickey’s taste in belt buckles alone deserves mock and Savannah reminds me of a porn “actress.” That said I’d nail her in an heartbeat and punch on w/- Mickey afterwards.

5:20 pm March, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Could the lack of comments on this thread be a sign that the populace is unhappy with his pick of DBotW? For the record, I think this is a worthy pair. And by worthy pair I mean they make me want to projectile vomit.

5:42 pm March, 12 ehcuodouche said...

I typically feel that if you’re a man and you’re dealing with a male douche, you should punch the guy in the face. It’s only sporting. However, here is a perfect specimen for a good cock punch. Typically, Latino douches are good Catholics and start breeding like rabbits by their early 20s. You can best thin the herd at the source.

Other things that call for a cockpunch are 1) he’s big, 2) he’s hiding slightly behind the hot and nuzzling too close to her, and 3) goddamn those boobs are distracting – best not to be looking anywhere near them.

Plus, with some luck his drink will end up splashing on her chest and you can help her outside the bar to clean it off, if you know what I mean.

A good cockpunch starts as if you’re rolling a strike at the bowling lanes, run straight forward and whip your hand so it grazes the ground, and then whips up on follow through, impacting right in the nads. I have a special glove made for this purpose, and its only $25 at http://www.douche-punching.com if you order now.

While your down there, check under her skirt to see if she packing anything, if you know what I mean. It won’t make much difference except in your drink choice. You will hit that. My grandma would hit that.

Anyway, he won’t be getting up for awhile, and when he does, it will be for medical attention. She will like a sangria and you can order a Modelo in a can. Mexican beers taste better in a can, especially after you’ve punched a douche in the nads. I don’t know why.

8:05 pm March, 12 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Such a pretty face, yet so Bleethed out akes me a sad panda. Savannah would look amazing in business attire.

10:54 pm March, 12 Whoop-di-douche said...

Er, Savannah’s too planned-out to be a Bleeth, but the two of them make one polluted oil slick. Even the leather dads are running for their lives.

11:08 pm March, 12 army (ret) douche said...

ahhh the brier. fuck them and their ability! curling is about drinking! that’s the way my stones curl… wait that didn’t come our right.

.

.

approve of the choice

11:20 pm March, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

Brad Garrett is lookin’ pretty weird these days.

.

Guess that means that chick is REALLY tall.

.

Go on.

.

No, I’ll do it.

.

.

TRANNY!!!!!

11:21 pm March, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

She shoulda spent less on the tits and more on those janky-ass hair extensions. There’s a right way and a wrong way.

Leave a Reply