Friday, December 21, 2012

The John Largeman Award: Wise Black Man Howlin' Cat

JohnLargeman

The great Et tu douche? hands out the award for the lurking mocker of all things douche:

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For the 2nd year in a row I’m pleased to present to this esteemed audience the John Largeman award for best person, persons or inanimate object in the background. JL, as I refer to him, burst onto to the scene and has since been revered, adulated and an inspiration for all of us in the never-ending mock of DBaggery. So with out further ado I give you the winner of the 2012 John Largeman award.

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat, WBMHC follows in the footsteps of JL cause he is as equally disgusted to witness such unnecessary baggery. Clubbaggery in this case. On this ill fated evening all WBMHC wanted to do was don some of his finery, slip on his gators, get out of the house and head out on the town to enjoy a few adult beverages, see what he could get himself into maybe run into some of his old running buddies. WBMHC, a responsible man, hadn’t been out in awhile as he had more pressing business to attend to such as life, family and work. Back in the day he and his boys would head out looking natty from head to toe to enjoy some nightlife, a few cocktails and maybe some good music. Back then it was referred to as a Club, not Da Club, where, depending you might catch a band or a DJ who spun actual vinyl. Seeing as he hadn’t been out in years he was not prepared for the travesty that befell him. Bottle service, autotune voiced music being played via an iPad, and guys wearing garish tee shirts in lieu of actually dressing up or in this case Dbag with pursed lips sporting a laminate signifying supposed VIP status. While he laughed at punks like this what really got him was a hot, young, succulent, alabaster breasted woman such as Adriana being attracted to such nonsense. Had things really changed this much? He thought. Yes it has WBMHC, yes it has and you’re not alone in thinking so. If it’s any consolation WBMHC your obvious look of disgust is felt by us all and for that you have earned the 2012 John Largeman award.

Coming in a close 2nd is Chet Largeman, Photobomber extraordinaire, and contortionist at the sideshow tent for whatever festival this was.

3rd place I give you Dim Nabors, Poor Dim, it’s bad enough he has some elephant man type growth on his forehead, now he has to witness shirtless clubbaggery. At least he has a soul mate in despair further down the bar in pallid Anya.

Honorable Mention:

Kip Largeman

Dancing drunk chick with levitating URC

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# posted by douchebag1
9:42 am December, 21 Douche Wayne said...

Drunken idiots d-bags keep telling WBMHC he looks like Dave Chappell. WBMHC has heard the name “Dave Chappelle” but doesn’t really know what he looks like, so he can’t agree or disagree with these total strangers who keep giving him their unsolicited opinions, and loudly. So WBMHC simply assumes they’re being racist.

9:46 am December, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

WBMHC plays bass. Acoustic or electric, you may want to know… The answer is both. At the same time.

9:58 am December, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

WBMHC is the only man in the tri-state area who looks good in a beret, and he carriers a license to prove it.

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WBMHC just got Adiana’s phone number, fax number, and Facebook address (whatever the hell a Facebook is).

10:20 am December, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

There’s no better person to pick this esoteric award than Et tu. And by that I mean I wish there was something in this photo that gave me a renoB.

10:29 am December, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

@DW

Thanks and are you kidding me? check out the cleavite loveliness that is Adriana’s supple naturals.

10:34 am December, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

One thing I forgot to mention in my original submission. The beauty of the Kip Largeman submission is the 4th comment by the one the only Vin D. To me he nailed it, as I can just picture Kip with an entitled, booming New England voice uttering those words. Carry on.

10:36 am December, 21 The Dude said...

Adriana’s pillows are what gets me up in the morning. She has – friendly boobs.

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Adriana’s boobs tell you it’s okay to stay in bed and be late for work.

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Supple mentals

10:39 am December, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I just realized WBMHC has like size 18 pointy-toed loafers on. They are so far out in front of him, they heard last call while he was still at happy hour.

10:49 am December, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

To Adrianna, I says ‘Meh!” Meh, I says. Hair that looks like it comes from a Barbie Doll is a renoB kilL.

10:57 am December, 21 hermit said...

Well written and researched by Et tu. That Howlin’ Cat is one bad disembodied mutha’……….shut yo’ mouth.

Chet Largeman looks like some kind of animated character.

11:07 am December, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Wallnuts, Adriana has hair? That’s very observant of you. After her delightful s-curve and that top that looks to be individual tailored and sewn around each of her rib protectors, I did not notice.

12:26 pm December, 21 Wheezer said...

@Et Tu Douche?:

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That is a fantastic write-up, mah broheim! Thanks for taking us on this trip into the mind of WBMHC as he righteously wonders what’s wrong with society.

12:59 pm December, 21 Rev Chad after finally finding WBMHC said...

It took me five minutes to find WBMHC. When I found him it hit my frontal cortex like, WOW so esoteric of a character, and I bow to Et Tu’s finding of WBMHC.

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Wild Black Man Howling Cat ate three plates of extra spicy Shrimp Etoufee when he was helping clean things up a few years ago and played trombone in a funeral dirge with his ass while walking in jodhoppers. Dark Sock knows.

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Great choice.Son.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yt_pOf1QHDY

1:45 pm December, 21 Vin J Douchal said...

Alabaster breasts always bring the Largeman clan a-milkin. Nice work Et Tu on the award. It can be dizzying looking at so many collossal assholes . A year’s worth sounds like torture

1:54 pm December, 21 Wheezer said...

Just had a thought, mainly based on this treatise from Et tu…..we need to rename our award winner “Wise Black Dude Howlin’ Cat.” Why? Check the initials:

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WBDHC

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It’s a fitting anagram.

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