Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Understanding the Postmodern Riff

RiffRaff

Two weeks ago, in the Riff Raff thread, Douche questioning all… asked:

———-

What if:

Riff Raff is the purposeful manifestation of the absurdity of pop culture. Far removed from the simple (and probably tweaked out) ass wipe we may see him as, what if he is us. Perhaps the most effective way to end this plague of bagitis is to force the infected to look into the mirror and confront their own ridiculousness.

To this point, I say we must promote Riff Raff. We must encourage it, this thing, this abomination. Because only once it has run its course, this glimmering beacon of ass-hattitry, only once it has infected the goose drinking, hot fondling tool bags we love to hunt, will we be able to carry our message on to new frontiers. The quest of Riff Raff is a painful, shame filled one to watch, let alone encourage, but has the war on douche not been painful, has it not been shame filled?

If we are to win this war, it will be through unrestricted douche warfare. We must find opportunity in the darkest (douchiest) of places. Riff Raff could be our key, our DMD (douche of mass destruction), and we owe it to the casualties of this war, all the hotts that have fallen victim to the plague, to use all the weapons at our disposal. Gentlemen, it is with a heavy heart that I say we set out on this endeavor, for once we venture in to the rabbit hole there is no telling where we will come out, or what kind of shape we will be in once we arrive.

None-the-less, if we are aiming to win the war and simply not just continue to fight it, we must sacrifice. DB1, you must go to that show.

————-

Well said, DQA. The Raff is spectacle as irony in post-Situation America.

As the one who inadvertently unleashed Snooki uponst the masses, I still owe penance despite my many noble years of douche mocking in both literary, internet, and televisual form (should’ve been theatrical as well but New Line did not let me lord over those rings).

Methinks I must go to this concert. Go to witness.

For if HCwDB is the primal scream against the injustices of product-centric spectacle culture, then Riff Raff is our proverbial “White Wail”.

# posted by douchebag1
1:40 pm May, 28 The Dude (remote loc) said...

*sigh* – the answer is no. Or 42. You decide.

2:31 pm May, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Db1, you’re gonna go.

.

You’ll buy the $10 “E” in the men’s room.

.

You’ll be tripping balls as fuck as you dance with chicks and dudes to maniacal beats that would make an African tribe that has never seen a light bulb or a white man blanche at the absurdity

.

Your face will be sore from the non-stop smile/grimace you’ll wear

.

You’ll nearly die from dehydration but while barfing , you’ll ingest enough toilet water to survive

.

You’ll see Yahudah, in all his corn row, tatted, abs revealing glory and offer to shine his leather sandals

.

You’ll , unfortunately, remember everything but fortunately not tell us (that’s a request, BTW)

.

Go, go…. it sounds fun… like having that ingrown toenail forcibly extracted with a scalpel and shears

2:36 pm May, 28 ANUSTART said...

This is gonna be great. Remember, let the douchebags do all the talking first. Then lower the logic boom. They might not get it at first (Spoiler alert: douchebags are so consumed with themselves they often mistake sarcasm for flattery.). Anyway you’re gonna do great DB1, because you’re quick witted and all your ideas are totally on point.

2:41 pm May, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

Kinda like what Skweezy was to whatever he was satirizing. I believe DQA is spot on or I least I hope he is.

2:45 pm May, 28 Morbo said...

No opinion on the concert. Just wanted to say that 14-year-old Jungle Hott is about to follow the same path as her 19-year-old methed-out sister Melinda there, ride the Riff Raff train to statutory rape station, and spend the bulk of her early adult years dancing with pasties on her nipples in a puritan strip club in suburban Memphis.

2:46 pm May, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Thanks for the reading material, but you lost me at Ri.

2:50 pm May, 28 ANUSTART said...

And uh, nothing will ever make up for Snooki. Thanks again.

3:01 pm May, 28 ANUSTART said...

Also didn’t DB1 say yesterday that wars themselves were douchey? Henceforth, thereto ipso fatso the “War on Douchebags” is in itself a douchey pursuit. Hey, I’m no wordsmith like some of the bros here but I think you can smell what I’m stepping in. Anyway, you should definitely go to that concert and feel what its like to be surrounded by clueless idiots. It’s the cheapest high there is.

4:16 pm May, 28 killdoucher said...

the horror……..the horror!

4:42 pm May, 28 dickey fingers said...

Hi Nancy

I like new moniker

4:43 pm May, 28 dickey fingers said...

It is pronounced anus tart right?

5:14 pm May, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I me, I think them girls would be kind enough to give an old dude a blowie for a few grams and some good pizza. But the younger one doesn’t like anchovies cause they remind her of bad vagina (respect). And I just saw a tall light-skinned black dude obviously wasted on pain killers on Cajun Pawn Stars with a kink in his neck trying to pawn some antiquated yet awesome tube amp. Anybody heard from Dark Sock? Anybody think he’s a brother? Homies.

7:26 pm May, 28 creature said...

anus tart? most accurate handle yet

9:00 pm May, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I have done all kinds of things with my Tube Amp. Palmed it, but never pawned it. And I’mst not too proud to say its seen its share of bad vagina, to boot. As a matter of fact, one chick from Findlay, Ohio had a vagina that looked like a boot. Or was it a boot that looked like a vagina? Either way, I nutted a Sploogie hither and yon that night, my friends.

9:11 pm May, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmm………..Tube amps, as a matter of fact I gots me a Pilot AA-901 mono-block in mint shape a few weeks ago that along with a kick ass mint Bogen Challenger that will be converted into a guitar amp.

.

Tube amps remind me of why I dig the occasional older dames, they ain’t to fussy & need minimum maintenance.

10:37 pm May, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I said once that Lenny couldn’t hybridize dope to make it any stronger. I was wrong sons. Stoned and passing out I am. Whoa! I’m as stoned as a bad vagina. So anll”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””dssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssllld/;lrlprllrllrss;;rllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloops

10:06 am May, 29 FredN. said...

A Nu Start. And it’s an Arrested Development gag.

1:06 pm May, 31 speechless said...

The stars… on the shins… some things can’t be unseen. He’s a prime candidate for that tattoo reality show where they fix bad tatts…

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