Friday, June 28, 2013

No Thoughts and No Links

CrudBag3

Mobile Home Dave and Trashy Sophia.

Still living the rock star dream. On credit cards.

Hard at work on some new stuff that could be cool. Or it could not be cool. Or it could be cool as ice.

But anyways, I gots no links. Do not judge. For alpaca fondle won’t pay for itself.

So instead of links I leave you with the words of the great Vin Douchal, who wrote this poetic soliloquy on the dead end nature of thug life in the Pukeface McAsshole McSucksalot McIHatethisguy thread:

———–

This tool is that friend of your’s friend’s cousin that shows up with them on a chill Saturday when you’re looking to spend a few hours watching the NCAA Tourney or a football game or the like, hanging out with no big plans.

He comes empty handed and instead of drinking the community Bud/Coors/Miller in the cooler goes to your fridge and drinks your Hoegaarden out of a frosty mug he found behind the frozen peas all the while complaining that there’s no orange slice to dangle on the mug rim. When the joint gets passed he slobbers on it and, unfortunately hands it to you as you are next..

On a trip to the bathroom he detours into your room and comes out with your iPod asking if you have any Steve Aoki on it, then takes a swig from the Cabo Wabo Bottle from your memorabilia case, the one that Sammy Haggar autographed for you when you had backstage passes , that you weren’t ever thinking of opening.

He puts his head back and tosses a vicodin from your medicine cabinet down with a mug draining.

When he sees your family photo on the mantle he points to your sister and says, “Man, I’d tear that motherf@#ing shit UP !!”

At some point you pull your friend aside and say, “I’m gonna take a leak. When I get out that dude’s gonna be gone, okay?”

———–

Brilliance.

Oh, and buy some stuff to support the site.

And, of course, have some Red Pear.

# posted by douchebag1
12:54 pm June, 28 hermit said...

Yep, I remember taking note of Vin’s observationsons. Everyone knows that tool. Nice.

12:59 pm June, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I second Hermit’s sentiment.

.

Pear should be Red Tranny Pear.

1:08 pm June, 28 DarkSock said...

I will slip in some links tonight if I can do it before I get drunk. Like this one:

1:09 pm June, 28 creature said...

they both holster wang for a living

1:25 pm June, 28 The Dude said...

Red Pear is also Red Cans. God I hope she’s gotta real pink taco under there.

1:26 pm June, 28 The Dude said...

Which one is M.H. Dave?

1:41 pm June, 28 Troy Tempest said...

Technoviking in the news:

http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/technoviking-matthias-fritsch-lawsuit-ruling/

2:12 pm June, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Hey! Thanks for that Db1.

.

That almost makes all the time I waste each day looking at Latina Supermodels worth the business I lose like the oil spilled each day from the ’72 Ford Maverick that idiot parks in front of my office three times a week as he looks for cans in the trashbins.

.

.

Pear fans

2:26 pm June, 28 The Dude said...

“waste each day” hott is really really hot. Congrats Vin!

2:32 pm June, 28 Douchble Helix said...

Good rant, Vin D. Nice chiquitas, too.

2:44 pm June, 28 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I’m confused. Is that really a dude with the dark hair in the picture?

If so, why is his skin whiter and softer-looking than hers?

And while we’re at it, why does he smile like a woman?

.

. I mean I was born at night, but I wasn’t born last night. I know hot, cheap, blonde robo-babes who poop strawberry yogurt have a thing for filthy, stupid, greasy, drug-addled “rockers” who spend their days picking their noses and screaming in English accents, but most of those 120 lb. nancy-boys (respeck) at least look like dudes.

.

.WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? (or should I even care?)

.

It’s back to the bath salts for the Old Choad. This is just too fucking much.

2:48 pm June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like the chicas the same way I like my Mulattos…. on my face. And Choad good luck with the salts. Don’t eat faces on your site.

2:55 pm June, 28 FredN. said...

CTDS, check out the Black Veil Brides or whatever the schlocky groups calls emselves.

3:20 pm June, 28 creature said...

ay caramba, vin!

5:27 pm June, 28 The Dude said...

5:59 pm June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What are the chances I’d be flaming the bad pipe and come in and see that Flaming Badpiper video? Wow. son.

6:08 pm June, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Is flaming the bad pipe code for sucking dicK? God, I hope not….

6:42 pm June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sorry DW. It’s the other thing.

.

@Dark sock

.

I found your ex-ex wife for ya , … http://biloxi.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/student-nurse-massage-and-more-super-special-rates-41/4844747 ….and shit.

6:48 pm June, 28 gmoke said...

Orgling – the resonant noise made by mating alpacas to encourage ovulation.

7:29 pm June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Five year old Reverend Chad made a pact with himself that every twenty years from this day when he was three yesrs older, being then eight, play a 20 year old song while stoned but not too far gone to type on the medium of the day. So this the the second and likely last time this anniversary pledge thing occurs. N,mean.. Last time was in my station wagon with cassette stereo.

.

http://biloxi.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/student-nurse-massage-and-more-super-special-rates-41/4844747

.

Chubbie Girls

7:35 pm June, 28 FredN. said...

Rev Chad, that’s a classy hooker. She always arrives ‘freshly showered.’ Does that cost extra?

7:40 pm June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oops. I think I may be starting to get stoned. Funny thing when you take drugs and drink while travelling with Lenny , checking out peoples workplaces and shit all day and they have no fucking idea why you’re in their place for a week, fucking working and then you take different ones when you get home. And some prescription shit. You get really stoned and think differntly every few beers. And sometimes the family becomes the enemy and the axe looks sharper and you feel more nimble than you did when ya looked three times ago as the anger builds. It’s getting pretty quiet but the ducks and geese are still pretty loud and could cover up a few screams. I suppose, but I’m too stoned to think about that shit. Oh, the song.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmVn6b7DdpA

.

WowArt Bog

8:01 pm June, 28 DarkSock said...

I think I know that woman….

.

Is Is flaming the bad pipe code for Slurpin’ the Doodi P? God, I hope not….

8:01 pm June, 28 DarkSock said...

I never forget a facial…

8:26 pm June, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmm…………Latina Supermodels

8:36 pm June, 28 strangdouche said...

Thats some good pear

Eureka jacques

12:06 am June, 29 The Dude said...

I can never get

My head around the Friday

Haiku, boo-boo-san

.

Sincerely, Never Mind. San.

1:03 am June, 29 The Dude said...

Flaming the bad pipe

Doesn’t make Reverend Chad

Gay, or does it? San?

1:04 am June, 29 The Dude said...

By the way, I am

Stoned like a sonofabitch

Ready for some sleep 🙂

1:26 am June, 29 The Dude said...

Chick in the Friday

Haiku is a horrid bitch

So is the blonde chick

9:42 am June, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Are we sure that is actually a “Dave” and not a tranny hooker, or a chick?

11:27 am June, 29 Wheezer said...

Boobies

.

https://www.facebook.com/boobs.69

.

I can’t decide whether or not they’re all bleeths. Perhaps you guys can take a look and help me decide. I’m guessing they are, but extensive research is necessary.

1:30 pm June, 29 The Dude said...

Boobs do not make the bleeth. The bleeth makes the boobs. And destroys my ability to think about anything else.

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