Saturday, November 15, 2014

If My Psyche Were to Direct a Music Video


It might look like GoGo Yubari by way of Taylor Swift by way of Betty Boop by way of Darksockian horse cosplay by way of hallucinogenic bullet train vending machine sashimi ecto-plasmonic vomitorious technospew.

Or, as Toshiro Mifune might say before committing ritual seppuku at the shame brought upon his once proud culture, ‘Sake it off’…

# posted by douchebag1
3:20 am November, 16 The Dude said...

Small world – I was just watching this while watching the Clippers game on Silent TV™, but I was listening to T. Monk’s Ugly Beauty for my soundtrack. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vofbnkQcW_Q
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3:24 am November, 16 The Dude said...

Holy Shit! Start this Chinese thing 1’25” into the Monk, and the universe folds into an origami.
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7:58 am November, 17 Wheezer said...

I guess hot chicks (literally?) can make me watch anything.
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5631084632

3:44 pm November, 17 Vin Douchal said...

The most amazing about that video is that it’s over 3 1/2 minutes long. At some point the audio engineers had to stab their own eardrums out and some amateurs had to finish it. Obviously
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4:51 pm November, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDocuhe said...

This is what I imagine it’s like in Rev Chad’s head when he’s stoned.
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what was the question?

4:55 pm November, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDocuhe said...

Yoko Ono’s illegitimate daughter finally chewed through the restrains at the “children’s hospital” after 24 years of neglect and this is what we get? Yikes!
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#9, #9, #9

4:56 pm November, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDocuhe said...

What are the requirements to be one of the Rev Chad dancers? Inquiring minds want to know.
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she’s only 17

6:19 pm November, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Does Korean porn pixelize cocks in pussies like Japanese porn? There’s a skinny little Korean babe that visits the business next door to mine.
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Her name is Lee Something or Something Lee and she wears those skin tight yoga pants. He ass can’t be more than a foot wide but it is FUCCEN shapely. I call her “Vicki Vale” and she smiles every time. I’d like to bend her over my desk while Prince’s Batman Movie Soundtrack played “Vicki Waiting” and them leave a bas relief of Korea on her back spelled out with my own biscuit gravy. Biscuit gravy, I says

7:31 pm November, 17 hermit said...

I hope you’ll all join me at the Google home page to meet the chimpanzees of Gombe, Tanzania.
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はた・ち

7:33 pm November, 17 hermit said...

Family

7:34 pm November, 17 hermit said...

Now Google’s pissed at me.
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7:49 pm November, 17 hermit said...

huh?

8:47 pm November, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

All of my hookers wear Hello Kitty pants.
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8675309

8:49 pm November, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Rolling Wang?”
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8:53 pm November, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzI4MtoTfAw
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fucking lucky 16

9:19 pm November, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dr. Bunsen
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All of the non blonde chicks in my dreams are Sacred Cows and agent 99, Son.
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9:20 pm November, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oops?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtedDwFT5lo
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1:18 am November, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

What? What’s this about providing links?

1:24 am November, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

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Whoops! Sorry, wrong one.

5:38 pm November, 18 Vin Douchal said...

@ Jacques
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Are those Korean quims? If so, that answers my question about pixelizing out close-ups of girly bits and throbbing members
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I also like the puddle behind the machine-banging chick. She’s letting go. Squirters are so flattering, they trust you enough and you have the skills to make them just cut loose. Vile bodily liquids everywhere and shit. Son
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14 (age of consent in Kentucky)

11:24 pm November, 18 hermit said...

The first porn I ever viewed was pre-internet, DVD or even VHS. It was a silent 8mm film stolen from the Moose Lodge film room ‘cause I’m old school like that.
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One rainy summer afternoon I took it to a friend’s house who had a projector and whose mom was at work. To our surprise, it turned out that the film was a dog-on-girl sequence, grainy, black and white and superbly edited.
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We sat fascinated as the woman fondled the dog’s genitals, working him into a frenzied state, then kneeled down in the dirt, guiding the eager dog’s slippery penis into her waiting womanhood. The girl was small and nimble with lank, dark hair that hung down across her face in long, greasy strands. Her face wore an expression of sad consternation, but she diligently went on about her task. A real trooper. The dog pumped rapidly, slipping out occasionally, but each time she patiently reinserted and rested upon her elbows, buttocks thrust skyward to receive her lover’s warm embrace.
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We sat, enthralled, as the scene played out before us in silence, save for the sound of the projector ticking away and the whisper of raindrops falling gently on the windowsill.
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The dog, a large German Shepherd, was young and virile, well-muscled and alert with strong bone structure and jaunty ears which seemed to indicate that he was up to the task at hand. He dug his rear paws into the ground, gaining a firm purchase on the loose soil beneath him, while his strong forelegs gripped the woman’s flanks with dogged determination. He pumped rapidly, gaining momentum with his powerful hindquarters, his supple spine thrusting with the steady rhythm of a gallopimg UPS truck during the Ramadan High Holy Days.
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The film ended rather abruptly and without a satisfying climax, and at some point I came to the conclusion that if this chick would fuck a dog, she’d fuck just about anything.
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I knew right then and there, I had to find her, but sadly, I never did.
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2:23 am November, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit
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Would you do the blonde in this video?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDWP4WzbA4c
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My dog’s ghost told me you would know the answer.
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c.c. Mothership
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Sons

2:24 am November, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

26^
…..

.]..

k,,

..

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2:58 am November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I’ve seen that same grainy, black & white dog fucking film, hermit. Although in my experience is was a multi-generation VHS copy with Skinny Puppy overdubbed as the sound track. We didn’t know what it was called, it just started and ended abruptly as you described with no subtitles. We simply referred to is as “Dog Fucker”, and it was played on the TV at my friends apartment as sort of initiation for any unsuspecting partiers that were unlucky enough to get to drunk to leave of their own accord. I can’t even remember how many boozy puke fountains that movie started. That and the GG Allin documentary we also made people watch.
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My first porn experience was actually a classic SoCal title named California Blondes 2. I traded it for three Penthouse Forums and a torn out Playboy centerfold back in 6th grade. It was a pretty clean VHS copy, only second or third gen with little to no tracking issues. The cassette was not labeled, and the first 40 or so seconds of the tape was a clip from Star Trek TNG dubbed with bad reception, designed to throw the scent of any snoopy parents or siblings. It was your standard ’80s porn plot. Neighbor comes over to borrow a cup of sugar from hot blonde neighbor in the middle of Jazzercizing, they strike up a conversation, he starts rubbing her titties, they bang. It wasn’t so much a turn on as it was fascinating and hilarious.
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We came up with nicknames for the male actors, Mario, Luigi, and Bendy. The first two because they were vaguely Mediterranean looking with mustaches, one guy being shorter and fatter than the other. And Bendy earned his moniker from being completely unable to get fully hard throughout the whole video. Good times.
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Don’t know what ever happened to that tape. Still wish I had it.

11:00 am November, 19 hermit said...

@ Rev 2:23
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Yes, I’d fuck everyone in that video, including the dude and the medicine balls
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Good to know the classics are still out there Jacques.

1:15 pm November, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I may bone her instead of a hooker on my annual week of exams in Ottawa.
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5:16 pm November, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Just a little PSA for everybody
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http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/9873757f97/porn-star-net-neutrality
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5:19 pm November, 19 The Dude said...

The first porn I saw was in my dorm lounge in the dungeon at UCLA’s Dykstra Hall. Called the dungeon because it was below the lobby (built on a hillside, you know – The Hills of Westwood), but it was the 1st floor so people were always there by mistake. We had boiler rooms and I had floor mates with nicknames like Wild Man, Animal, Beef, Spike — y’all would really like these guys.
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Anyway, I watched a pron called La Machine with these fellas. I was seventeen years old and quite confused by the whole thing. What if I get a boner in front of these guys? What if I don’t?
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Being bookishly smart but kinda stupid around girls, I tried my best to erase the memory of La Machine as I engaged a few nubile Bruin gals in pillow talk during my 4 years there.
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Being an avid reader, I was into magazines back then.
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9:05 pm November, 19 Vin Douchal said...

And BTW , this fucking video above “Rollin’ Chick Chick” ^ is a manipulation by electronic and manual means meant to flood YouTube by big money marketeers and hype factories in an all out effort to show how many clicks any piece of garbage can attract if you get Huffington , MSN, AOL, Yahoo, etc. to say it’s important and make it build on itself.
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Almost 8 million clicks? Have we gone in-fuccen-sane as a society?
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Honestly, it sucks, it ain’t funny and the machine that has foisted it on our consciousness is using all the available I.T. tricks. It’s the next chapter in pop culture saturation like the way “Payola” fueled the radio hit market in the 50’s-80’s until government conspiracy charges tried to halt it (to no avail, they just pushed it to the backrooms).
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It also makes me think that Db1 was contacted, too, to generate clicks even though our little gathering place here no longer has any interwebs juice. But I doubt it, just a conspiracy theory floating around in my brain.
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There are honest efforts out there, organically finding their way into the mainstream/sub-mainstream. Maybe the best examples of this are the ever zany, Flight of the Conchords, or the products that come out of Adult Swim. If you haven’t watched Black Jesus, you’re missing out
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Best Adult Swim thang IMHO is the weird “Too Many Cooks” , an eleven minute parody barrage of hokey 80’s themes and TV theme songs.
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It takes awhile to get cooking , give it a good 5 minutes or so, then the action gets going:
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TOO MANY COOKS
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Plus this chick, Kayte Giralt, is in it for a moment. MORE KAYTE HERE

3:10 am November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kayte=Goodness=Snow=Buffalo=FUCK YOUbOBAMNA
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4:13 am November, 20 The Dude said...

I’d Mayte with Kayte any time. Flight of the Conchords Foo de Fa Fa reigns supreme
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4:47 am November, 20 DarkSock said...

Replaying until I run out of lotion…

4:51 am November, 20 DarkSock said...

Oh, right…the reason I came here is to direct you towards George Michael’s stunt double wayback in March 27th, 2005:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/03/81803/

12:40 am November, 21 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I miss you guys.

12:36 am November, 25 DarkSock said...

Public Service announcement – for the safety of you and YOUR loved ones (and RevChad) back in 2005:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/?p=81814&preview=true

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