What Time is It?
Almost time for Friday Thoughts and Links…
Kevin's Wild Years
Sure, Kevin’s about to settle into his predetermined life. A nice, quiet life in Attleboro.
A wife whom he doesn’t really like. A job with Local 402. Watching Patriots games. Enjoying Dunkin’ Donuts. Gaining weight.
Raising his twin boys, Sean and Patrick.
But before he gives in to the confines of his environment, genetics and cultural limitations that will dictate the next 50 years of his existential crisis of a life, young Kevin Flynn is going to party.
With full-on douche hair, douche chinstripe, and even the “wild n’ crazy” douche bling, the rosarie beads.
And Rachel from Cambridge is going to humor him.
Because she thinks his hair is “way rad.” And she’s slumming it with the bad boyz. While her academic parents are at the Cultural Studies conference in Frankfurt, delivering a paper entitled, “Lacanian Crisis and Homosocial Anxiety on ‘Entourage'”.
Kevin’s Wild Years
Sure, Kevin’s about to settle into his predetermined life. A nice, quiet life in Attleboro.
A wife whom he doesn’t really like. A job with Local 402. Watching Patriots games. Enjoying Dunkin’ Donuts. Gaining weight.
Raising his twin boys, Sean and Patrick.
But before he gives in to the confines of his environment, genetics and cultural limitations that will dictate the next 50 years of his existential crisis of a life, young Kevin Flynn is going to party.
With full-on douche hair, douche chinstripe, and even the “wild n’ crazy” douche bling, the rosarie beads.
And Rachel from Cambridge is going to humor him.
Because she thinks his hair is “way rad.” And she’s slumming it with the bad boyz. While her academic parents are at the Cultural Studies conference in Frankfurt, delivering a paper entitled, “Lacanian Crisis and Homosocial Anxiety on ‘Entourage'”.
Hurt Cab for Portly
The Florida State kegger was totally off the hook.
Even Ubiquitous Red Cup was having fun.
Until Dale showed up and started hitting on the Carlita Sisters with requests for everyone to come see his Death Cab for Cutie tribute band, Hurt Cab for Portly.
Friday Haiku
‘Bathroom Doggie ‘Bag,
Like pubes on chin, tatts on arm,
Floormats by Nordstrom.
Hinge on the doorframe
Unhinged on douchbag’s tats
Big knobs on the hott
— Franklyn Dealorno Doucheifelt
Marrissa’s gyno
had trouble diagnosing
until she saw this
— Mr. White
Evil Monkey tatt
Screams for release, Thundercats
Tatt accepts douche pain.
— Captain Bringdown
Nice Gollum tattoo.
Jenna thinks, “you’ll never get
to touch my precious.”
— Sergeant Scrote Stain
Wheelbarrel practice
Would be more helpful if she’d
Lift up other leg.
— boatbutter
Shoulder Monkey Screams
Don’t Look So Vapid! Alas
It cannot be helped
— Douche Plumber Roberts
Hott’s eyes speak to me
“Take the place of pregnant douche”
Me, to the rescue
— John Douche Passos
Chicago Taggin'
PIC DELETED
—-
DB1,
Attached is a picture of a DOUCHE that was at the same bar an acquaintance of mine was throwing his birthday party. I skipped out because I hate the venue (and this only reinforces everything I thought about the clientele), but luckily my friend’s girlfriend was able to snap this shot!
— Ezekiel
—-
That reminds me. Did I remember to water and feed my sunstroke victim this morning? Yeah, I keep a sunstroke victim chained up in my basement. Doesn’t everybody?
Okay, so the girls are kinda scary in this pic. But rarely do we get a first person tag of a douche this shiny and red. So I’m goin’ with it.
Chicago Taggin’
PIC DELETED
—-
DB1,
Attached is a picture of a DOUCHE that was at the same bar an acquaintance of mine was throwing his birthday party. I skipped out because I hate the venue (and this only reinforces everything I thought about the clientele), but luckily my friend’s girlfriend was able to snap this shot!
— Ezekiel
—-
That reminds me. Did I remember to water and feed my sunstroke victim this morning? Yeah, I keep a sunstroke victim chained up in my basement. Doesn’t everybody?
Okay, so the girls are kinda scary in this pic. But rarely do we get a first person tag of a douche this shiny and red. So I’m goin’ with it.
Breaking: Fall Out 'Bag Still Married
In HCwDB “Celebrity” News, the artist formerly known as Ashlee Simpson’s Nose and Sex Wax Boy are still married.
Because I sort-of have heard of these wastes of human form. And celeb sites are way popular. So I thought I’d throw down some mad pop culture game by making a reference to them.
Aw screw it. Who really gives a flying rhesus monkey poo-ball about these shmuckwads? Does anyone? Back to the real world pics, which are far more fun, interesting, engaging and worth critiquing.
Breaking: Fall Out ‘Bag Still Married
In HCwDB “Celebrity” News, the artist formerly known as Ashlee Simpson’s Nose and Sex Wax Boy are still married.
Because I sort-of have heard of these wastes of human form. And celeb sites are way popular. So I thought I’d throw down some mad pop culture game by making a reference to them.
Aw screw it. Who really gives a flying rhesus monkey poo-ball about these shmuckwads? Does anyone? Back to the real world pics, which are far more fun, interesting, engaging and worth critiquing.
