Friday Haiku
Shirt of epithet,
Eloquently tweets, like
pixelated poop.
A juicer boy gloats
But hott has other question
$10 for pic
— Douche shower and shave
The only thing real
About this bleethy skank was
Abusive father.
— Crucial Head
If there is a God
these two cannot reproduce
thank him thank him twice
— Anonymous
Douche McClevershirt.
Well, this one’s not that clever.
Whore’s got all your cash.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Spiky leg straps for,
Killing traitor commisars,
Famke’s orgasm.
— wonkydouchey
Today's "To Do" List
Checking off today’s “To Do” List:
* Clean the bathroom
* Vacuum and attempt a cursory de-stain of the living room rug (stupid cheez-its)
* Milk the alpacas, feed the bullfrogs and fondle the goats
* Pick up four boxes of Joe-Joes and two bottles of Blood Orange Soda at Trader Joes
* Set up appointment for collagen pec implants and chest oiling
Oh wait, got my list mixed up with this boat tool.
Today’s “To Do” List
Checking off today’s “To Do” List:
* Clean the bathroom
* Vacuum and attempt a cursory de-stain of the living room rug (stupid cheez-its)
* Milk the alpacas, feed the bullfrogs and fondle the goats
* Pick up four boxes of Joe-Joes and two bottles of Blood Orange Soda at Trader Joes
* Set up appointment for collagen pec implants and chest oiling
Oh wait, got my list mixed up with this boat tool.
Reader Mail: Puerto Rican 'Tagging
—-
what’s up DB1, i’m a fan of your page!!!!
i’m sending you a picture of one of the biggest douchebags in the Puerto Rico party scene… this dude is a class act… he thinks he’s the reason girls party in the island, he skydives to impress them, he has that goatee and typically some bimbos tend to gravitate toward him to get into parties and such…
can you please post him on your site!!!! i want the world to know that the douchebag plague moves faster than swineflu, and that unfortunately it has infected the island of Puerto Rico.
let me know if you post it!!!
thanks dude and keep fighting the good fight!
– Rico Douche
—-
I’ll post it for the sexy boobie reveal alone, just please go easy on the “!” key there, Rico. Thomas Pynchon just registered a complaint.
Reader Mail: Puerto Rican ‘Tagging
—-
what’s up DB1, i’m a fan of your page!!!!
i’m sending you a picture of one of the biggest douchebags in the Puerto Rico party scene… this dude is a class act… he thinks he’s the reason girls party in the island, he skydives to impress them, he has that goatee and typically some bimbos tend to gravitate toward him to get into parties and such…
can you please post him on your site!!!! i want the world to know that the douchebag plague moves faster than swineflu, and that unfortunately it has infected the island of Puerto Rico.
let me know if you post it!!!
thanks dude and keep fighting the good fight!
– Rico Douche
—-
I’ll post it for the sexy boobie reveal alone, just please go easy on the “!” key there, Rico. Thomas Pynchon just registered a complaint.
Image 'Tard
Is anyone having problems seeing the images on the site lately? If so, drop me a line.
Thanks to the usual Blogger publishing software breakdowns (thank you once again, Google, for the shittiest blog publishing program on the planet), I’ve been having to upload my images via Imageshack to get them into the posts.
This means extra work for the DB1, and takes away valuable drinking and sitting around doing nothing and scratching myself time.
Hopefully it’ll get fixed soon. In the meantime, poo.
Image ‘Tard
Is anyone having problems seeing the images on the site lately? If so, drop me a line.
Thanks to the usual Blogger publishing software breakdowns (thank you once again, Google, for the shittiest blog publishing program on the planet), I’ve been having to upload my images via Imageshack to get them into the posts.
This means extra work for the DB1, and takes away valuable drinking and sitting around doing nothing and scratching myself time.
Hopefully it’ll get fixed soon. In the meantime, poo.
HCwDB in the News
In exciting HCwDB news, MTV has picked up my show Is She Really Going Out With Him? for a second season and another twenty episodes. We’re gearing up as we speak to bring a whole new level of hottie/douchey critique to the masses. New locations. New couples. New poo.
I celebrate with a tasty cup of Thunderbird in my trusty Ubiquitous Red Cup. And with a special frozen HoHo I saved for the occasion.
Thanks to all who helped make the show a hit by spreading the word about the show, the site or the book. I tip my cup of ‘Bird to you. And may the next 20 couples be as horrifyingly trainwrecky as the first 20.
For those who haven’t seen it, the episodes are still airing and I highly recommend you check ’em out.
Eric Bana in "Munich 2: Tel Aviv Douchin'"
I don’t know what Spielberg’s been thinking lately.
Eric Bana in “Munich 2: Tel Aviv Douchin'”
I don’t know what Spielberg’s been thinking lately.
