Purple Nurple
If there’s one thing that cures a woozy DB1, it’s a pic this enjoyably incomprehensible.
She has melons that would transcend mortal coil through mortal coitus. I would Florence her Nightengales, even in my post-accident state of confusion.
He’s a turd cancer.
Boy Wonderbread is My Battle Cry
I may be injured, but I am not giving up the fight. I cannot rest on my laurels.
For ‘bags like Wonderbread are out there. Hitting on sweet girls.
I may be banged up, but the war against the Ed Hardpocalypse has just begun.
Okay granted, he just looks like a scared boy who wants his porridge here. But not neglect the “Z” head shave. No excuse.
Smoot Wreck
Updates will be spotty today, as your humble narrator was in a nasty car accident last night. Seems my moronic New York cab driver decided to turn into a cement divider while going 70 on the Williamsberg Bridge. I spent a lovely night getting stitched up and hitting on my hott Asian nurse.
But all is fine. Just a bit of whiplash and some new scars to impress the ladies.
Since I’m recovering today, half conscious and jacked on pills, I thought I’d honor a car wreck with an equally horrific culture wreck.
That’s right. Smoot + Hott + Small White Puppy.
And don’t give me that “Smoot doesn’t look so bad here,” or I’ll slap you with this cranial awkwardness.
His neck looks like my neck feels.
Boy Wonderbread
Gotta hand it to B.W. His shiny new mandana, beads and stupid shirt look like they’re freshly unpacked from a Douchekit he bought at Nordstroms.
But he managed to tug a true Kimmy Hott. So for that, we mock his tonguey doucheface.
Later, his scrote posse showed up to get his back.
And by get his back, I mean point out what went wrong with the education system in America.
'Bag Tagging: "Peoplez"
—-
Hello Douchebag1!
I am a huge fan of your site. I wanted to call your attention to the primo douche who refers to himself as “Peoplez.” Once, when asked why he earned such a nickname he responded “you know, because I like people.” Awesome, Peoplez. Awesome.
Recently he has added another moniker, Mr. Biggs, which he proudly displays on his hat. He fancies himself a rapper, hence the lack of orange glow and Ed Hardy.
Truly,
-Nic
—-
Peoplez…. who needs peep holes… is the scrotiest douche… in the world.
This douche is annoying me so much, I just made a freakin’ Streisand reference. I’m ashamed for both of us.
‘Bag Tagging: “Peoplez”
—-
Hello Douchebag1!
I am a huge fan of your site. I wanted to call your attention to the primo douche who refers to himself as “Peoplez.” Once, when asked why he earned such a nickname he responded “you know, because I like people.” Awesome, Peoplez. Awesome.
Recently he has added another moniker, Mr. Biggs, which he proudly displays on his hat. He fancies himself a rapper, hence the lack of orange glow and Ed Hardy.
Truly,
-Nic
—-
Peoplez…. who needs peep holes… is the scrotiest douche… in the world.
This douche is annoying me so much, I just made a freakin’ Streisand reference. I’m ashamed for both of us.
Criss Angel just Voted
2008 Celebubag winner and scrotal fungus Criss Angel, and his Generic Playboy girlfriend, wanted to stop by and vote in the Weekly.
What’s that, Criss? You have a comment you’d like to add?
Criss Angel: I like macaroni.
Yes. We all do.
Criss Angel: I like macaroni!!
Thanks for stopping by.
HCwDB of the Week
This is an absolutely epic Weekly.
Last week was the Monthly, so we have two weeks of hottie/douchey pics to process. And what a two weeks of spectral poo and angelic boobitude it t’was.
Here be your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The ‘Stachebagger and Various Jenny Hotts
For creepy oldbaggery hangin’ on to the dream, The Stachebag is all that is gross, leathery and skeezy about Vegasland.
The Jenny tiplets are bordering on “hot Long Island young mom” status, which is a legitimate form of hotness that cannot be discounted.
And Danger Blonde on the left? I see you.
Oh yes I do.
Your buns will not go unbongoed tonight.
Observe the Stachabagger’s epic run here, here and here. White belt. Frosted Faux. I just punched an emu in the balls.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Smoot and Crystal
Smoot first appeared as one of the Cactus Joes, before I realized one of the Joes was a Joe-ette.
By the time Smoot appeared in this pic, mugging Crystal with her cute tongue, his legend was born.
It was only a matter of time before his uberdouchosity would ring out in pics here, here , here and here as the Freakshow(? is it him?).
So many variations.
Tiki doucheland by day? Wrist mandana party bag by night.
Quality hotts being mugged. Consistent douche-face. Stupid $300 ts. Smoot is crying out for victory. And by victory, I mean extensive public shaming in this forum while lusting after his ladies
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Cheeto Man and Boobsie McGee
Cheeto Man has two things working against him in the Weekly.
1. Major potential gaybaggery. As mentioned many times, the Gaybag can be a douchebag, but by lacking a true threat to the hott, Gaybaggery is unthreatening, and thus forms a less potent HCwDB combo.
2. Secondary quality H.C. Sorry, Boobsie. You’re cute, and have impressive attributes, but not on the level of the ‘Stachebagger and Smoot’s hotts.
Then why include this pic in the Weekly?
Because Cheeto Man has one overpowering element that makes him a worthy finalist. Orange. Pure Cheeto Orange.
And no, this is not photoshopped. Cheeto Man first appeared in a Friday Thoughts and Links, and made one more appearance here that creeped me out so much, I pulled it from its own entry and hid it a link.
Think about how epic this clash of HCwDB finalists is. I had to leave off such worthy HCwDB couplings as The Temple Mount, The Pouter Puff, The Chinchilla, Nostradouchemas, Tung and The Bleach Baller.
That’s some serious hottness in presence of toad not to even make the Weekly. Yikes.
But these are your three. And only one coupling may triumph (fail).
Vote, as ever, in the comments thread.
Fan Mail: "yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass"
f’real writes in:
—
Somebody needs to run up in herre and kick all yalls asses maybe if yall get a job instead of type on pictures you could pay to go out and have fun instead of mock people who do but whatever it dont mean shit to me yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass you talk shit about another one of my boys tho i will find this website and roll up in it with some hard ass muthaf&ckers and axe handles and pull this shit down. you think you cant be found but when you do the shit talk will end then, son
—-
I resent that. My ass is more a shade of light pink than red.
Fan Mail: “yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass”
f’real writes in:
—
Somebody needs to run up in herre and kick all yalls asses maybe if yall get a job instead of type on pictures you could pay to go out and have fun instead of mock people who do but whatever it dont mean shit to me yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass you talk shit about another one of my boys tho i will find this website and roll up in it with some hard ass muthaf&ckers and axe handles and pull this shit down. you think you cant be found but when you do the shit talk will end then, son
—-
I resent that. My ass is more a shade of light pink than red.
