Is this Anya?
Is the lovely flotation device enhanced hott in the middle, the legendary Hall of Hott member, The Smearkat’s Anya?
All boobs point to yes.
And is Chinpube McNapkin on the right “the shit”? Or a turd log?
And I see you too, tiny Swedish Pixie Stick. I would humbly place my head betwixt your breasts and make creepy, gutteral cries like the mutant baby in Eraserhead.
22/7
It’s nice to see noted character actor Mark Margolis can find time in between gigs to douche it up with some Vegas ladies.
No comment on the large lady on the left, but Cindee on the right is wholesome cuteness, and has the classiest tattoo since this one.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Designer Oompa
Gwyneth Paltrow, still lookin’ relatively good. Even after marrying into the most hacktacular echo band this side of The Led Zeppelin tribute band, Stairway to Zoso, playing live through Sunday at the “Lazer Floyd” show at the Hayden Planetarium.
Coldplay is like an alien slug from Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters. It slithers onto a real body and converts it into an empty shell of meaningless void. They are the group equivalent of John Mayer. Well packaged “authenticity” as rubric of achieving Suckle Thigh and cash from the tasteless masses, too blitzkreiged by iPod campaigns to smell out the difference between talented artists who produce art, and talented artists who repurpose warmed-over reductive U2 riffs.
But I digress. Back to this pic.
Rudolph Valentino looks very much alive. And he looks up ladies dresses, as they sadly pass him by.
Ask DB1: Accidental "Ten Degree Hat Tilt"
—-
Dear DB1-
This past weekend I was at a local watering hole enjoying some friendly company and looking at all the boobies.
At one point in the night I adjusted my hat. My friend across the table recoiled from me in absolute horror. He started pointing at me like I was a 17th century plague victim while screaming “Ten Degree Hat Tilt!!”
Without realizing it, I had tilted my hat. While I’m not convinced it was a full ten degrees, the tilting of the hat ruined the remainder of my evening and my quest for the hott.
My question is this; Does a hat tilt automatically signify douche, even when it’s applied unconsciously for comfort?
I’ve noticed that wearing my hat slightly tilted and propped up is very comfortable. Please help. I don’t want to wake up one day and find that I’m reaching for the Axe body spray.
-grady bagmore
—-
Accidental Hat Tilt (AHT) is generally forgiven unless allowed to persist for more than twenty-three minutes straight, at which point the event horizon is crossed, and suspicions will set in that AHT is actually TDHT in irono-disguise.
At this point, full mocking of the HT is allowable, and should be encouraged, by any nearby friends, neighbors, hotts and small woodland creatures named Tigger.
Ask DB1: Accidental “Ten Degree Hat Tilt”
—-
Dear DB1-
This past weekend I was at a local watering hole enjoying some friendly company and looking at all the boobies.
At one point in the night I adjusted my hat. My friend across the table recoiled from me in absolute horror. He started pointing at me like I was a 17th century plague victim while screaming “Ten Degree Hat Tilt!!”
Without realizing it, I had tilted my hat. While I’m not convinced it was a full ten degrees, the tilting of the hat ruined the remainder of my evening and my quest for the hott.
My question is this; Does a hat tilt automatically signify douche, even when it’s applied unconsciously for comfort?
I’ve noticed that wearing my hat slightly tilted and propped up is very comfortable. Please help. I don’t want to wake up one day and find that I’m reaching for the Axe body spray.
-grady bagmore
—-
Accidental Hat Tilt (AHT) is generally forgiven unless allowed to persist for more than twenty-three minutes straight, at which point the event horizon is crossed, and suspicions will set in that AHT is actually TDHT in irono-disguise.
At this point, full mocking of the HT is allowable, and should be encouraged, by any nearby friends, neighbors, hotts and small woodland creatures named Tigger.
Slappy goes "Wooo!!"
At a state fair, somewhere off the interstate, Slappy leaned in with his Doc Brown sunglasses and hoped the Brunette Suckle Model and her best friend Cathy would notice his sexy tribal tatt.
They didn’t.
Slappy goes “Wooo!!”
At a state fair, somewhere off the interstate, Slappy leaned in with his Doc Brown sunglasses and hoped the Brunette Suckle Model and her best friend Cathy would notice his sexy tribal tatt.
They didn’t.
Kelly's Tard
Sexy Next Door Brunette, Kelly, knows who she’s voting for in the Weekly. And she brought her Tard along to show you.
Also, Dude, Tard is not the preferred nomenclature.
Retard, please.
Kelly’s Tard
Sexy Next Door Brunette, Kelly, knows who she’s voting for in the Weekly. And she brought her Tard along to show you.
Also, Dude, Tard is not the preferred nomenclature.
Retard, please.
HCwDB of the Week
It was a relatively benign week last week for toxic HCwDB, but three decent finalists emerged to vie for the Weekly. Since your narrator spent much of it drunken, unshaven, and stumbling around under the Brooklyn Bridge trying to find his keys, it’s a miracle he’s even up in time to write today’s Weekly.
But he is. And that foot is me.
Here they is:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Bandaidto
Quality Alba Hottness doesn’t come along that often, so when it does, we should sacrifice a goldfish to Buddha and then flagellate ourselves with chicken feathers to honor her buttocks.
She is Latina Goodness.
He’s a gangsta wannabe with a bandaid that looks like it was perfectly placed above the sunglasses-at-night to achieve a level of authentic gangsta toughness.
For that, he is to be Hello Kittied somewhere in Osaka by a gang of Yakuza.
I have nothing more to add, except that it appears someone is performing a colonoscopy on someone else on the monitor in the back.
One should really wear surgical gloves before performing a colonoscopy on TV. Otherwise it sends a bad message to the kids.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Purple Lips and Carmen
Some argue the “Gaybag Exception” applies here. Gaybag Exceptions were a concept developed on the site in 2007 to describe the fact that gay performative douchosity in presense of the hott lacks the true rage-inducing dialectics since gay/hott offers no legitimate threat of hott pollution.
I refuse to grant the G.E. in this case.
Something tells me Purple Lips knows what he’s doing. The flaming hair, the douche-scarf + Rosary beads, and the table cloth shirt suggest too much clash to be authentogayery.
He is het. And as such, working the signifiers of gay subculture to achieve mass culture dominance, he is the HCwDB equivalent of the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
Carmen is delightful, even with the cheesy hair extensions. She is bashful and bronze and I would fondle her best friend’s collection of vintage Cabbage Patch Dolls until she kicked me out of her house.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Spring Break ‘Bag
This was taken by a reader, and it also features that prime category of ‘bag of whose categorization is the site’s main purpose.
So for those two reasons I decided to give Breaky and Captain Morgana their shot in the Weekly.
Do not underestimate the primal douche signifiers in this pic.
The suckle abs on the Sorority Hott. The dual hand gestures + douche-lips on the Fratchoad. Mandana. Jesus tatt.
All around a prime case of all that is douche/hott in the universe, and all that needs to be mocked.
So them’s your three. Which rises to the top? And by top, I mean bottom. And by bottom, I mean ass pear.
Dishonorable mention to Kurt’s Florida Tag, lacking only facial specificity to make the weekly, and the craptastic The White Shadow, which just missed the cut. Honorable mention to Hot Peeps with Peepbags, which was tasty marshmallow boobie suckle thigh goodness and fake yellow tans.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
