Crosshair McJohnson Says "I Rock"
Crosshair McJohnson reminds you that he rocks.
Pouty Paid to Pose hott has the full Monica Bellucci lips that cause feral alcohol syndrome albino dwarfs from outer Floren to cast themselves into the pit of dispair.
Crosshair McJohnson Says “I Rock”
Crosshair McJohnson reminds you that he rocks.
Pouty Paid to Pose hott has the full Monica Bellucci lips that cause feral alcohol syndrome albino dwarfs from outer Floren to cast themselves into the pit of dispair.
'Bag Tagging: Charleston
Elyse writes in with a brevity tag:
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Hey DB1-
Check it out: Charleston Douche. That’s me on the right, this guy is a doof.
Thanks DB1!!
Elyse
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A doof indeed, Elyse. A doof indeed.
You have a lovely Karen Allen in Raiders thing. I would make you wear a white dress and let you drink me under the table after grabbing the butter knife, just for the chance to Temple your Dooms. And pretend IV never happened.
‘Bag Tagging: Charleston
Elyse writes in with a brevity tag:
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Hey DB1-
Check it out: Charleston Douche. That’s me on the right, this guy is a doof.
Thanks DB1!!
Elyse
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A doof indeed, Elyse. A doof indeed.
You have a lovely Karen Allen in Raiders thing. I would make you wear a white dress and let you drink me under the table after grabbing the butter knife, just for the chance to Temple your Dooms. And pretend IV never happened.
The Fratstain
The sorority sisters of Putta Cappa Enuras enjoyed playing with the latest life size inflatable doll, the Fratstain.
Dale the Carpenter
Look, I’m not an elitist, nor a classist. I try to be egalitarian.
I believe semi-employed working class salt-of-the-earth middle age outer Swampscott living carpenter workmen, like Dale here, have every right to save up their income after hanging around outside a Home Depot and go out to neck-tackle sorority girls from nearby Bunker Hill Community College, like Kelly here.
But must you 45 tilt the hat, Dale?
It just makes you creepy.
Orange Jeter's Cynthia
She may not have won the Monthly along with Orange Jeter, but Cynthia is what noted physicist Niels Bohr once described as “The Shniznit Ass.” Therefore we honor her barely legal hottness with a rare HC Only pic.
Although that dude in the fedora way in the back is a potential stage-1 Hipsterbag.
I would para-sail over the Bolivian salt flats of Salar de Uyuni on a sixteen year odyssey to locate her discarded mascara tissue that eventually settled into a sand dune after being carried on a freakish oceanic down-wind Nor’Easter back in 2007.
And then I would use it to make Cynthia Eye Sweat Soup.
Which the Maori believe can cure rickets.
Orange Jeter’s Cynthia
She may not have won the Monthly along with Orange Jeter, but Cynthia is what noted physicist Niels Bohr once described as “The Shniznit Ass.” Therefore we honor her barely legal hottness with a rare HC Only pic.
Although that dude in the fedora way in the back is a potential stage-1 Hipsterbag.
I would para-sail over the Bolivian salt flats of Salar de Uyuni on a sixteen year odyssey to locate her discarded mascara tissue that eventually settled into a sand dune after being carried on a freakish oceanic down-wind Nor’Easter back in 2007.
And then I would use it to make Cynthia Eye Sweat Soup.
Which the Maori believe can cure rickets.
Crimson Ted Celebrates Winning HCwDB of the Month
Today’s DB portion of the HCwDB of the Month Winner, Crimson Ted, seems to have lost his car keys.
Reader Mail: The Brotherbag
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Dear Douchebag1,
I was recently introduced to your website by a classmate and upon viewing the images that adorn your lovely page I gasped out loud, “My God! They all look like my brother!” It is true, I am a blood relative of a 100% Grade A douchebag (pic attached).
I live with the fear that one day, if I were to have a son, he may be afflicted with this unfortunate and shame-inspiring malady that has affected the males in my family for generations. But, at least I have now found a place of like-minded individuals who share my frustration with Douchebagitis. Thank you for bringing attention to Douchebagitis, and let us hope that one day there will be a cure. But until then we can all laugh our asses off.
Sincerely,
A Douchebag’s Sis
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Much like when a family member converts to Scientology, joins the Hare Krishnas, or starts watching Dancing with the Stars claiming ironic detachment but you know it isn’t, the sibling you once knew is now gone, A.D.S. The only solution is to firehose his ass when he’s crossing the street, and then mock his hat tilt from a safe distance.
