Nub Stinks
Yeah yeah.
Nub first appeared on the site back in November, stalking the Sorority Hotts, and then proved his fratdouchery here, here and here.
Okay, the truth is we kinda like Nub. He’s harmless.
A non-threatening a douche. Kind of amusing, actually. But he pulls the A-list college hott and makes the stupid hair.
And so we mock his sorry ass.
Hot Moms with Orange Anime Villains
Where’s Revolutionary Girl Utena to slay the Orange Demon when you need her?
Rusty's After-Prom House Party
This may be a first at the After-Prom house party.
After an intense Senior Year of study, Cindee finally lets out her inner slutt and get down on the dance floor.
But Rusty’s too busy making his patented “hand gesture with digital camera” move.
Thankfully, there’s excellent pre-framed artwork, purchased at Bed, Bath and Beyond, to add $19.95/per worth of class to scene.
Rusty’s After-Prom House Party
This may be a first at the After-Prom house party.
After an intense Senior Year of study, Cindee finally lets out her inner slutt and get down on the dance floor.
But Rusty’s too busy making his patented “hand gesture with digital camera” move.
Thankfully, there’s excellent pre-framed artwork, purchased at Bed, Bath and Beyond, to add $19.95/per worth of class to scene.
Cookie Party
What kills me is I may just have to give Ryan a nottadouche, as there’s nothing really offensive about him.
And judging by the company he keeps, Ryan wins at the game of life.
This post is just making me depressed. Thankfully, I have a solution.
For when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom:
Mother Mary: Blow it out your ass, Ryan, you giant sucking gaping chest-wound of scrotal taint!
Thanks Mother Mary. I can now let it be.
The Pfahbag
This post and pic are dedicated to longtime HCwDB comments thread ‘bag hunter, Pfah.
After suffering for months when his company filtered HCwDB from his work computer, Pfah has convinced the I.T. guys to make an exception for the hottie/douchey dialectics, and he is back on board.
One of the earliest and most dedicated ‘bag hunter and boobie lusters on the board, Pfah also did the excellent photoshop illustration tweaks for the chapter on Douche History (B.G. and A.G.) in my book.
For that, and for excellency in ‘bag hunting, this hottie/douchey coupling goes out to Pfah. Because something tells me he has a thing for reedy blondes.
And yes, I had to go to Australia to find this pic.
KC Hott Tags "Tooly"
KC Hott writes in with a descriptive tag:
—-
Hi there!
—-
Nicely done, KCH, but that “promise” that you never dated him reads remarkably unreliable in light of your extensive knowledge of Tooly’s douche habits.
Nonetheless, nicely summarized list of a classic club scrote.
KC Hott Tags “Tooly”
KC Hott writes in with a descriptive tag:
—-
Hi there!
—-
Nicely done, KCH, but that “promise” that you never dated him reads remarkably unreliable in light of your extensive knowledge of Tooly’s douche habits.
Nonetheless, nicely summarized list of a classic club scrote.
The Douche Virus Spreads
There’s nothing that ruins my enjoyment of a good bowl of Corn Pops while I sit on my living-room rug quite like having to stare at Grieco Virus in mid douche-to-hot transmission.
Give her 48 hours. Soon the “woo!!” and hand gestures will begin.
Followed closely by giant bug sunglasses and sneery expressions directed at any camera within a fifty yard radius.
HCwDB of the Week: Rusty the Frill-Necked Lizard
Proving even a “pro” Vegas spectacular douchpocalype and a Bleethy, bony hott can ride to victory, the win was solid by Rusty. The voters speak:
Alexander the Douche: My limited vocabulary lacks the proper verbiage to describe the pile of excrement that is Rusty.
Anonymous: Rusty the Frill-Necked Lizard is a “KICK FACE”!!! He wins hands down!
Billy Jag: i keep staring at this picture of this mohawked idiot by the pool and hoping that a giant disembodied fist will fly in from the right of the frame and punch him squarely in his annoying face. i agree that his hott is bleethed beyond repair and while i usually like my skanks with a little more meat on their bones, there is still something undeniably sexy about her… and when i say “undeniably sexy” i mean “chlamydia.” rusty ftw
ohiofj: Rusty – hands down – a lot of prep work went into this final moment that was caught ever-so-well by the photographer. Every thing clicks (actually booms) for a douche bag in this shot. I am writing in Jeff Reed for honorable mention.
Disconnected: Rusty the frill-necked lizard for the win! The best hott this week, and his facial expression is just so incredibly tense, that he can only be a) straining not to prematurely decorate his pants due to the proximity of the hott, or b) trying to pass that double-choc-protein-bar-mixture-thing that he has to eat to maintain those muscleoids.
douche equis: Rusty — he best evokes the “desire to slug in face” response that is so important to gut-instinct douchebag detection.
Ojo Rojo: Rusty TFNL, FTW. He’s got the copious markings of the urban douche tribe warrior that just absolutely scream, “LOOK AT ME!!!” only the way a douche can. The last time it was cool to look like that was at Little Big Horn.
Excellent job, panel. A solid victory for the write-in Lizard candidate and his Bony Hott in the tighty-tights. But the everypoo of Tony Broma came in a solid second:
Kennedy Smith: Tony Broma. I betting in that pic he’s playing a really sweet Night Ranger lick on his air guitar.
MD(ouche)C: While Lorie is the least hott (and/or sleazy) of the four hotts in the running, Tony is far and away the bigger douchebag. Decider for me was the mandana on his right wrist and the hint of a dogtag chain (could be a cross… or a shark’s tooth… who knows?!)
ehcuodouche: Tony Broma, on the other hand, exhibits exquisite punchy-face. I actually think he might be air-guitaring here, which explains the sign confusion. Note also the ring on the index finger, yet nowhere else, showing the damage the roids have done to his testosterone-addled brain.
Dolphe Douchegren: It’s gotta be Tony Broma. It’s the back to basics homegrown douche flavor that in the end triumphs over the glitzy and dazzling appearance of the more elaborate species. The balance between innocence and total scrotewank in the picture makes the ratio pretty close to golden.
In many ways, Tony Broma had a subtler yet more potent hottie/douchey cohabitation than the loudness of Rusty. But the voters spoke, so who am I to argue? And the Frat-genericism of “FTW” came in a distant and pooey third:
Count Douchekevitch: For The Wank, For the Weekly, on the potency of his stenchy frat-choadness plus the worst white boy tattoo ever. Way to qualify for the eminem “what hood are you from?” club. His 18 year old Id so suppresses the ego, that when his super-ego awakes (say in 10 years,) the “I’m 30 and I already regret my tattoo” feeling may drive this gimp to do us all a favor and jump off the top of Paris Las Vegas’ tower. Oh yes, plus the bikini lovelies on each arm.
But this was Rusty’s week to triumph. As Shpoople World Champion sums it up:
Rusty FTW. Only because I can imagine him saying something like this…
“FUGGIN HEAD SCARS AND TATTOOS, THAT’S WHAT RUSTY DOOO!!!! What kind of toppings for your sandwich?”
Exactly Shpoople. While I wasn’t sure Rusty and Lotus Flower fit the authentic “hott/douche”, the voters have spoken, and Rusty and tighty tight bony hott, have earned their well deserved seat in the Monthly.
