Monday, December 8, 2014

Somewhere in Sheboygan, A Lone Fartfungusface Twaddles With Kelly

111002

And as they twaddle, two lonely Bud Light Limes go undranked upon.

# posted by douchebag1
8:15 pm December, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmmm…………… Side B( . )( . )b Reveal.

8:55 pm December, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d let her give me the Throat Gonnorreah.

8:59 pm December, 8 Vin Douchal said...

I’m going to go ahead and state the obvious here……… that ring is WAY too big , proportionately, for her hand

9:02 pm December, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

What’s up with her hair? is her head that long front to back?
.
@VinD
.
http://www.jambase.com/Articles/123356/Zappa-Plays-Zappa-To-Honor-One-Size-Fits-All-Anniversary

9:38 pm December, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I was distracted by….that stoopid fuccen zipper on the side of his … whatever the fucck that is.
.
Stay classy douche. All bleeths want to investigate the New York sewer system at one time or another in their lives.

10:15 pm December, 8 hermit said...

Long Live the Mother Ship.
.
These two have the collective charisma of Grandma-in-Law Kroeger’s benign tumor.
.
As a youthful hermit, I was often mistaken for Frank Zappa.
.
Now I’m often mistaken for Ruth Bader Ginsburg and shit.

10:18 pm December, 8 hermit said...

Sorry.

12:46 am December, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Thanks for the concern Hermit. I was pretty stoned on the cannabis and forgot I wrote that.
.
@Et Tu
.
With that head her last name must be Johnny.
.
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/034/5/e/Rubber_Johnny_WIP_by_mx.jpg

4:57 pm December, 9 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

I keep looking at that side boob, and there’s something just wrong with it.
.
.
.
Mostly that my hands are not cupped around it.
.
.13. Again!

10:32 pm December, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

As I look at this picture again it dawned on me that these 2 represent the current state of whatever generation they’re called.
.
She, concerned about her and herself only, and how she has to portray herself to get thee utmost attention vis a vis shamelessly auditioning her, what look to be, fake yibs. I’m sure not long after that picture was taken it was uploaded to FB, Instagram, whatev.
.
He, totally nonplussed, wears the the look of the pill generation. Adderal, Oxy’s, Molly etc; whatever he can get his hands on to ease his so called pain.
.
Devoid of ambition and goals they will plod along through their 20′ well into their 30’s concerned with nothing that doesn’t concern them.

3:08 am December, 10 Liam Gallagher's Monobrow said...

Her daddy paid for em, so she’s gonna display em. Diagonalzipperdouche cares not.

1:26 pm December, 10 Dickie Fingers said...

Her doctor threw in the third implant for free. She regrets having it put on the back of her head.

9:20 pm December, 10 Vin Douchal said...

I’ve got only one thing to add to this discussion:
.
Olga Freakin’ Ospina

1:22 am December, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like the weather in LA.
.
Fucking snow!
.
http://ut03.xhcdn.com/t/657/9_b_1791657.jpg
.
I hate that pig.

12:12 pm December, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I would say that is more Armpit Boob rather than traditional Side Boob.
.
So is HCWDB a thing again?
.
Twenty-friggin-nine

8:09 pm December, 11 DarkSock said...

Meanwhile, on March 30th 2005 we first met the insufferable Biff Precious:
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/03/friday-haiku-361/
.
And since 2005 was 9 years ago I’m not at all late with whom won with last week’s best “Caption/Fraiku This” as my IT guy tries to rook whatever crawl outa PornHub and into my computer using nothing but a rusty coat hanger and a Bic lighter.
.
18 or olders

8:30 pm December, 11 DarkSock said...

Awright…here’s the winners from last week’s Fraiku, including an easter egg Hott stashed in Doc Bunsen’s winning comment:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/03/friday-haiku-360/
.
And of course here’s this week’s new Fraiku:
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/03/friday-haiku-361/
.
14

6:49 pm December, 12 FredN. said...

Think The Rev. said it best back in 2011:

I’d give her $350 for the porn star hour. She’d be all analized and gooed on like a sweet little glazed custard croissant at one of Choad The D.S. favorite French bistro’s. The carnage of her prolapse rectum would resemble a strawberry trifle with a heathy portion of sherry hinting at notes of cassis and elderberry. Three weeks later my cock would look like a calzone with mushroom sauce and extra cheese while the doctor prepared the syringe and unbrella scraper, anybody remember those, Ouchy!!
My favorite STD detector was the swab shoved down your cock. Jesus, why wouldn’t they just give us two weeks of penicillin. Fuccken cocksuckers! Buzz on sons.

11:35 pm December, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Good memories Fred N. I was really fucked back then. Did you see my new poem?
.
Bill Cosby voice.
.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Friday Haiku

HoverBag FinishesBiff Precious chuckles
As he ogles at these two;
“Hell…I’ll buy them BOTH!”
hermit said…

I live for things like
The twinkle in Blondie’s eyes
And Beth’s tinkle hole.
Vin Douchal said…

Biff chuckles, head back
Sent these babes loaded drinks
Windowless van waits
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

It puts the cleft in
The palate, or it gets the
Hose. Kirk Douglas Hose.
hermit said…

Biff reels in horror
As Cindy’s boiled eggs and beans
Turn solid to gas.
DoucheyWallnuts said…

Kurt Russell Douche macks
On the Boner Twins but they
Have Sapphic intent
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Biff was gonna go
All Cosby on those chicks ass.
Drugged himself instead.
Magnum Douche P.I. said…

Insecurity
over uneven nipples.
Donkey punch is fine.
Capt. James T. Douche said…

That tranny’s nipples
Gave me a huge shame Renob
Biff views tuck technique.
Dickie Fingers said…

Drinks for all my friends!
yells barfly Biff as he falls
the tab was six bucks.

**^Runner up! D.S.**
Capt. James T. Douche said…

I have now Hitler’d
A couple billion tadpoles
Thinking of clam bump
Wheezer said…

Dat Willem Dafoe
knows how to bag the hotties;
Green Goblin’ dem boobs
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Tranny bashing is
All the rage. Never makes it
To the Sock’s first page.
# posted by admin

@ 7:51 PM
Categories: Fraiku
80 comments

8:44 pm December, 11 hermit said…

I live for things like
The twinkle in Blondie’s eyes
And Beth’s tinkle hole.
8:49 pm December, 11 hermit said…

Juxtaposition:
The brunette’s happy nipples,
and sad, mannish face.
8:49 pm December, 11 hermit said…

^I’d still hit it.
8:49 pm December, 11 hermit said…

^gladly
8:54 pm December, 11 hermit said…

Biff reels in horror
As Cindy’s boiled eggs and beans
Turn solid to gas.
9:24 pm December, 11 Vin Douchal said…

Duuuude! Don’t I remind
Like Big Lebowski guy, dude
I’m just like him, dude
9:26 pm December, 11 Vin Douchal said…

Biff chuckles, head back
Sent these babes loaded drinks
Windowless van waits
9:29 pm December, 11 Vin Douchal said…

New Fox News Net show
Stripper/Lawyers discussing
G-string financials
9:38 pm December, 11 Vin Douchal said…

Biff smiles broadly
Grabs cocck through hole in pockets
Fills pants with man paste
12:53 am December, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said…

That see-through bra and
chubby thighs makes my meat hard
and…damn, it’s a man.
3:24 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Biff is the love child
Of Sting, Dennis Leary and
That Lena Dunham.
3:25 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

It puts the cleft in
The palate, or it gets the
Hose. Kirk Douglas Hose.
3:27 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

A nation laughs and
Drinks while the black man is down.
I have to breath. Son.
.
N-words
3:28 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

She has saggy boobs
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
3:30 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Asian nipples and
Poon Flaps are always darker
And smell cunt sweat.
3:32 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Asian chicks have the
Horizontally placed crack.
I dig the chink stink.
3:33 am December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

She may be nanny
From Phillipines. I fuck you
Long time Joe….with cock.
9:33 am December, 12 Charles Douchewin said…

Red carpet event
bleeth makes sure that all of her
drapes match their carpets.
12:03 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Biff was gonna go
All Cosby on those chicks ass.
Drugged himself instead.
12:11 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Kurt Russell Douche macks
On the Boner Twins but they
Have Sapphic intent
12:13 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Blonde, nubile Kim
Has a hankering for short
Paunchy Asian Trannys
12:20 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

When Mooslims win war
Pictures like this won’t happen
Again, Infidels
12:25 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Tai smells like Kim Chee
Yet blonde Kim plans to eat her
Cabbage with gusto
12:31 pm December, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said…

Consent ? Biff don’t need
no stinking consent. Their drinks
laced with Rohypnol
12:47 pm December, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said…

Trust fund Biff knows the
rules. Bleeths plus free drinks and blow
equals a three-way
12:53 pm December, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said…

Insecurity
over uneven nipples.
She will do anal.
12:54 pm December, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said…

Insecurity
over uneven nipples.
You can piss on her.
12:55 pm December, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said…

Insecurity
over uneven nipples.
Donkey punch is fine.
3:03 pm December, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said…

That tranny’s nipples
Gave me a huge shame Renob
Biff views tuck technique.
3:04 pm December, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said…

Biff returns from men’s
Room smelling of cheap cologne
In post blumpkin daze
3:06 pm December, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said…

There is nothing real
In this picture, Biff’s hair, the
Tits and the faces!
3:09 pm December, 12 Ed Hardy Har Har said…

Blonde Kim has hijacked
Taylor Swift’s shorts! Tranny has
hijacked anal beads!
.
13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13
3:12 pm December, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said…

For the right price you
Can Hot Karl both of them
Biff empties savings
3:16 pm December, 12 Ed Hardy Har Har said…

Biff makes his “O” Face
as he thinks about three way…
with new bathroom bros!
3:19 pm December, 12 Ed Hardy Har Har said…

Are impure thoughts of
manny tranny okay to have?
Asking for a friend.
4:19 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Does getting Hander
From Tranny make you homo?
Asking for a friend…
4:21 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Shame Renob sprouts forth
Consumed by shame, passion and
Ejaculation
4:22 pm December, 12 Dickie Fingers said…

Biff Precious brings his
daughter to the club for drinks
and tranny penis.
4:23 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

If blonde is Tranny
I’mst still banging it silly
It silly, I says
4:48 pm December, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…

Biff is really a
Cialis rep trying to
drum up some business.
.
two dozen
4:51 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Blonde in Taylor Swift pants
I’d like to prick. She would then
Write Jesus-sized song.
4:51 pm December, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…

Biff Precious yells “SCHWING!”
as onomatopoeia
fails to impress bleeths.
.
legal drinking age
4:54 pm December, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said…

I have now Hitler’d
A couple billion tadpoles
Thinking of clam bump
5:11 pm December, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said…

Biff will pay extra
To have them queef in his face
Blows toupee clean off
5:26 pm December, 12 Dickie Fingers said…

Drinks for all my friends!
yells barfly Biff as he falls
the tab was six bucks.
5:41 pm December, 12 Ed Hardy Har Har said…

Blonde Kim offers drink
to you! But Manny Tranny
offers to drink you.
8:26 pm December, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Two fingers in ass
Is worth one thumb in the twat
Or some fuckin thing
8:28 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

I’d waterboard the
Tranny and give the blonde hard
Anal hydration.
8:29 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Peter Piper picked
A plumb from tranny crotch and
Pulled out a prolapse.
9:46 pm December, 12 hermit said…

Why must the Friaku™
devolve to tranny-bashing?
You ‘all should be ashamed!
9:48 pm December, 12 hermit said…

Risperdal’s a bitch
Didn’t help Juan’s A.D.D
but he grew nice breasts.
9:57 pm December, 12 hermit said…

That Deborah Norville
Is either dating trannies
Or else Ann Curry?
11:36 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Tranny bashing is
All the rage. Never makes it
To the Sock’s first page.
11:41 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

If you have only banged
Mullattoo trannies, still gay?
Asking for Hermit.
12:38 am December, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Jennie McCarthy
Always looks for a way to
Be irrelevant.
12:45 am December, 13 hermit said…

Tranny sex is fine
If you don’t cuddle and shit.
Don’t ask how I know
1:28 pm December, 13 hermit said…

The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
.
“Asian nipples and
Poon Flaps are always darker
And smell cunt sweat.”
.
^ If that’s not front page material, then I’m sorry, this whole thing’s a sham.
.
20
2:13 pm December, 13 hermit said…

Wisps of fabric, sheer
doth not cloak the darkened breast
Sliced poon flaps concealed
.
25
2:41 pm December, 13 The Dude said…

Twinkle eyed blonde hott
likes to watch when guys try the
Shocker on Tran Hee Shee.
.
17
2:49 pm December, 13 The Dude said…

Nipple mounds beckon
from behind a see thru bra
but blondes have more fun
3:54 pm December, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Tranny gives you head
Not gay if you don’t give back
Don’t ask how I know
3:55 pm December, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Anal rehydration
Won’t work in the NFL
At least during game
3:57 pm December, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Tranny bashing is
Better than Homo Bashing
Or some fucking thing
3:58 pm December, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said…

Why do Asian Bleeths
So often look like Trannies?
Asking for a friend…
4:47 pm December, 13 Dickie Fingers said…

Later that night its
gyroscopes and monkey holes
but no Biff Precious.
8:54 pm December, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said…

Tranny or not a
Tranny a mouth is a mouth
Or so I’ve been told.
1:18 am December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Anal Hydation
Is the name of Hermit’s next
Rammstein-style band.
.
https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A0LEViaq.YxUe4cAWjsPxQt.;_ylu=X3oDMTBsa3ZzMnBvBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2JmMQR2dGlkAw–?p=rammstein&tnr=21&vid=6F209AF6E2BF3536FEA36F209AF6E2BF3536FEA3&l=235&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DUN.608048338782128128%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-gZ25MYwWpM&sigr=11bp0vlql&tt=b&tit=Rammstein+-+Du+Hast+[Official+Video]&sigt=114h79htg&back=https%3A%2F%2Fsearch.yahoo.com%2Fyhs%2Fsearch%3Fp%3Drammstein%26ei%3DUTF-8%26hsimp%3Dyhs-001%26hspart%3Dmozilla&sigb=12l72714v&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-001
.
Glad we won the war Son.
1:22 am December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play?p=rammstein&vid=05af41d08cfce8d99aec516a0b3e4bdc&l=6%3A00&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DVN.608022495963057715%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dv6XxCnJPb7I&tit=Rammstein+-+Keine+Lust+%28Official+Video%29+HQ&c=11&sigr=11b0ngaep&sigt=11cci0gkv&back=https%3A%2F%2Fsearch.yahoo.com%2Fyhs%2Fsearch%3Fp%3Drammstein%26ei%3DUTF-8%26hsimp%3Dyhs-001%26hspart%3Dmozilla&sigb=12l72714v&ct=p&pstcat=arts+culture+and+entertainment&age=0&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av%2Cm%3Asa&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=mozilla&tt=b
3:03 am December, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said…

Does it count having
Your ass kicked by a girl if
She has a huge rod?
3:49 am December, 14 The Dude said…

Does anyone know
where to put the gyroscope?
Asking for the Biff.
10:49 am December, 14 hermit said…

^ Lacking monkey hole
Biff’s cock would find its way to
The winky stinky
3:56 pm December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

I’ve been dreaming of
Being raped by a tall, handsome
Woman named Ripley.
.
For thirty years.
9:35 pm December, 14 Wheezer said…

Dat Willem Dafoe
knows how to bag the hotties;
Green Goblin’ dem boobs
.
21
9:50 pm December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…

Reverend Chad has
A Christmas Carol. Change to
The Bill Cosby voice.
.

I really can’t stay
(But baby, you’ve been roofied)
I’ve got to go away
(But baby, you’ve been roofied)
.
This evening has been
(Been hoping that you’d pass out)
So very nice
(I’ll hold your hands, in a tournequet)
.
My mother will start to worry
(Ho skank baby what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor
(Listen to my big cock roar!)
.
So really I’d better scurry
(Fucking bitch don’t you leave)
But maybe just a half a drink more
(Put some records on while I fuck your sleeve)
.
The neighbors might think
(Baby, your passing out)
Say what’s in this drink?
(No cabs to be had you skink)
.
I wish I knew how
(Your eyes are blood shot moons right now)
To break this spell
(I’ll take your hat, your cunt looks swole)
.
I ought to say, “No, no, no sir”
(Mind if I move to you ass)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried
(What’s the sense in getting pounded hide?)
.
I really can’t stay
(Oh baby hold that cock)
Ah, but it’s cold out side
(Baby, it’s warm in your poon)
.
I simply must go
(But baby, I’m angry now)
The answer is no
(But baby, I don’t hear no)
.
Your welcome has been
(How lucky that you are tied up)
So nice and warm
(Look out the window bitch, nobody there)
.
My sister will be suspicious
(Gosh your lips on my black cock look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door
(I’ll kill that honky you fucking whore)
.
My maiden aunts mind is vicious
(I’m gonna fuck like Nancy and Sid Vicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more
(Baby that was opium laced hash)
.
I’ve gotta get home
(But baby, I’ll leave you dead out there)
Say lend me a coat
(You get on your knees and lick on my bung)
.
You’ve really been grand
(I thrill when I fist you with my hand)
But don’t you see?
(How can you stay awake?)
.
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow
(Think of my lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied
(If you got deaded and died)
.
I really can’t stay
(Get over that you natty pig)
Baby, it’s cold
Baby, it’s cold outside
.
We still hanging out o there yo.

4:56 pm December, 16 FredN. said...

Yes. Yes, that poem is.
It is.

5:08 pm December, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Ok dudes. In the spirit of the Holiday Season, here is my gift to all. It’s a little website called , YOLOSELFIE , featuring NSFW selfies of every type of woman imaginable.
.
Objectify proudly. Your welcome

4:07 pm December, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Seriously, dudes, ^ that website is amazing. It seems like it’s updated every 5 minutes with a new bevy of amazing femalians. NSFW but it doesn’t pound you with popups either,…
.
.
Beeyoobs

5:05 pm December, 18 FredN. said...

Checked out that website. It’s a collection of porno shots mocked up as selfies. Reverse google image search one of ’em at random.

NOTE: I am not complaining about more free porn. Thank you Vin!

However, does anyone have a link to true amateur nudey selfies? Something other than AnonIB which is all stolen pics and malware infested??????

12:11 am December, 19 MC900FootDouchebag said...

Wanna talk douchebags? Here ya go:

http://gothamist.com/2014/12/16/santacon_millions_march.php

12:20 am December, 19 MC900FootDouchebag said...

I truly applaud the ladies of YOLOSELFIE, but could you please straighten up and make the bed before flashing the beaver? Not much to ask, is it?

6:17 pm November, 23 AndrewS said...

This chick I know dates a mega douche bag

http://www.nudeselfiespics.com/images/black-and-white

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