Monday, February 16, 2015

Aquatool Advocates For Peace

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Despite the cacophony of vacuity in which Aquatool exhausts his credit card salad days, therein lurks a deepward hope for a lasting global peace.

Sure those thoughts only reverberate for a few seconds.

Here and there.

When the drugs wear off.

And the boobosity is not too distracting.

But they do recur. Within those few moments of repose before the DJ drops another sampled pre-recorded boom-siss-boom-siss.

Aquatool credits himself for proving, at least for a moment, that he is more than just an overpriced douchey Yankees cap wearing numbers runner for the Long Island Gambinos. He does have a soul. For does a person without a soul not occasionally think about world peace? If you prick his Dolce and Gabana, does it not fray?

And then, like Keyser Sose, they are gone.

Vacuity returns.

And joyless compulsion carries onward until dawn.

# posted by douchebag1
5:41 pm February, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

Didn’t pay much attention to Aquastool as the Boobisty had me in a trance. I do believe them is some midwestern naturals or at least I hope they are.

5:49 pm February, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Me and the Misses are selling everything and moving to Israel. Israel is calling. Will you answer.

6:05 pm February, 16 Charles Douchewin said...

^ Not on shabbat I won’t. That’s how you get a callback.

6:52 pm February, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why would you ever go back to the strip club you work at on your day off?
.
Pole cleaners

6:54 pm February, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Some Lahng Eyeland trailer park is missing the head of their home owners association and his daughter.

6:54 pm February, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I’m glad a paid extra. This one’s got TWO boobs!”

8:18 pm February, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Time will tell whether or not this generation of Eminem mimicking toolboxes have the stones to fight back the jihadist hordes, or will they retreat into mom and dad’s basement and enter into a Vicoden and Red Bull and Vodka haze before they are beheaded.
.
And whilst she’s cute, her cankerous lip is off-putting. Off-putting, I says.

12:12 am February, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Hey bitches.
.
What’s shaking?

12:26 am February, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Wtf? That’s me?

12:40 am February, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Almost afraid to ask, but how’s The Rev doing?

1:46 am February, 17 Vin J Douchal said...

“I have two. I have two chances with this chick. I have two chances with this chick if I can get her looped on booze and roofies. I have two chances with this chick if I can get her looped on booze and roofies and can lift her into my Chevy Vega and get her to my cardboard house under the I-278 RFK bridge……”
.
“If it’s still there….. better make that THREE chances….”

2:25 am February, 17 DarkSock said...

Speaking of public sodomists…Fraiku – April 9th, 2005…
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-8/

3:53 am February, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

stoooooooned. old-style opium time.
.
Moriarties

9:37 pm February, 19 jonezy said...

it pains me to say, but I gotta give the guy a notta/go-in-peace. And I was hoping to get my kicks in with a good old fashioned D-bag-bashing.
.
That hat is straight on, no garrish tatts or tags, normal fitting shirt- no particular sense of self entitlement being expressed. I gotta say, go on and enjoy those almond joys. I mean… Mounds.
.
oh yes those glorious mounds. Golden Globes nominee 2016, or perhaps retro-active to 2015?
.
It’s actually quite scary that the boss’s Guggenheim exhibit is only like 8 years away at this point. AmIright?

4:08 am February, 20 creature said...

Wha?….where am I?….WTF?
Did someone spike my rye whiskey? Head hurtz!
.
.
.
…goddamn Darksoc!
.
.
.Boobies! Fleshy mule earred warmers, dangling redtoed tube socks of jiggly jelly…..w blue veins
.
.
Uhm, that & fuck FishSlap!

11:49 am February, 22 The Dude said...

That’s a girl I’d take home to mom, and by ‘mom’ I mean Kate Upton.

6:35 pm February, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

We are but mere millimeters from a nip slip…c’mon titty… c’mon titty…

3:56 am February, 24 DarkSock said...

Apparent newcomer “Tackle Box” won teh interwebz for the last Fraiku; check out the taut supple easter egg he won here:
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-8/

4:59 pm February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

http://www.hark.com/clips/ygmhswwswk-brown-acid-warning
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Do not take the Wesleyan Molly!

8:43 pm February, 26 Charles Douchewin said...

Softcore Retro Bangles Thursday.

2:49 am February, 27 DarkSock said...

WordPress cuts back on;
DarkSock posts the next Fraiku;
Y’all go take a look:
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-9/

4:19 pm February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AphxyjrH4SE
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A Few Good Jews

11:01 pm February, 28 creature said...

Forget about wench
Preferable to these chaps
Flamingo scratch-hole

11:02 pm February, 28 creature said...

Oopsie…this is not fraiku!

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