Wednesday, December 7, 2016

The Shunning of the Trump Voter

crazy-trump-supporter
You. Yes, you.

You voted for Trump?

You are a human Zika virus. A walking Walking Dead walker with the rotting, fetid stench of seasons five through seven seeping through every cell of your corporeal body. Every pixel of your online presence. You are to be psychologically and conceptually quarantined. Forever.

I curse you with every elemental fiber of my being. I expunge you with every ounce of my soul, my shmeg, and my spirit. Let you be forever damned as the rank choadscrote that you chose to become due to your own misguided volition.

You deserve no forgiveness.

You deserve no retrial.

You are hereby cast out.

You are not a part of the legitimate discourse of a civil society. And you are certainly not invited to my next birthday party. And that party will be awesome. It will contain real people. It will have cheese dip. And premium gouda. And tasty Hostess treats. Yes, even Chocodiles. And people with actual souls. People with consciousness. From Socrates to Billy Ocean. The collective progress of Humankind. Of which you are no longer a member. Sorry, toad pimple. You forever vanquished your right to lay claim to the progression narrative of the human race.

You are douche.

But not just any douche. We need an invented moniker for the hypertext vortex of ferret pus suckage that you embody in the apex of wretchedness that your life choices reached. You are not merely standard issue douche. Nor are you an amusingly eccentric scrotey nitwank. You fall neither hither nor thither on the spectrum of ‘bag.

You are a new form of pimple lick. A collage assemblage of various marsupial poo, each a differing shade of fecal brown. The collective effect is one of patchwork shite. To name you a single feces is to do a disservice to the many sphincters and colons that collectively excreted the various elements that make up your kaleidoscopic dung discharge.

As such, we are at an impasse. For there are not enough neologisms to express my contempt for your retched life choices that you exemplify, occupy, taint, or otherwise smear with the vile spittle that pours forth like mildewy Mountain Dew from your scaly manure-built form.

You have an excuse for your actions, I’m sure. You hated Hillary. You just wanted a tax break. You wanted a certain kind of Supreme Court justice or just thought it would be hi-larious to mix it up by voting for an orange simian rhesus hemorrhoid.

Unacceptable.

Shove it up your ass like a week old slurpee stained dumpster outside a 7-11 in Sheboygan. Even if that 7-11 was once a White Castle. And even if the memories of those savory square burgers still haunts its myopic walls. The dumpster don’t lie. Once you pulled the lever for a preening con-man sexual abuser, you exemplified the narcissistic diuretic spew of that most craven core embodiment of American Douchebaggery.

For what is a douchebag if not you? Douches ignore the larger world in favor of the narcissistic self. ‘Bags discard consciousness, thought, communication, and honesty in service of core lizard-brain pleasures rooted in cartoonish fantasy. The fist pump and the hair gel are nothing more than extensions of amoral self-worship. And so is the Trump vote.

And therefore ipso facto cognito ergo leggo, so the mucky muck are you. You sorry, pathetic milk teat on the taint of a toad.

Douche.

You.

I’m talking to you.

You never shaved your chest but voted for Trump? You are douche. You never chugged a Bud Light Lime while calling a girl “bro” but voted for Trump? Douche.

I hereby micturate on your rug for all eternity. Because you live in the age of infinite, accessible information laying at your fingertips. And yet you chose ignorance and hysteria over consciousness and thought. Enlightenment beckoned. And you chose the Great Orange Darkness.

There is only one course of action left.

“Hot Chicks with Douchebags” calls for a complete and total shunning of all Trump voters from every aspect of respectable life. You aren’t just to be mocked for eternity. You are to be held in utter fucking contempt by all that value anything beyond the navel gaze. All that value the notion of humanity above primal animal urges and violent impulses of the jungle.

To the millions of us on the side of righteousness, I call on you to join me. Participate in this collective shunning of those that deserve nothing but shun. De-friend any Trumpdouches in your midst. If they’re family? Cut them off. Scientology style.

Gone. Dismissed. Forever.

They do not deserve reasoning. They do not deserve negotiation. They do not deserve even a rabbit fart iota of respek.

Christian Audigier and Ed Hardy are dead now. But the legacy of their wretched narcissism lives on.

In the Trumpdouche. The faux tribal tattoo on the bicep of humanity. They deserve to be scrubbed off and flushed down the toilet as soon as possible. As soon as the rest of us can gather enough Lysol to scrub your toxicity away. Forever.

This is our next challenge. Our calling. This is a war. Choose your side. And do not go weak kneed simply because a meat-sack in human form resembles an actual human when justifying their Faustian bargain.

View them for what they are. Condemn them for failing to be what could so easily have been theirs. A world of knowledge. Intelligence. Humanity.

They rejected the modern world. We reject them.

# posted by douchebag1
4:26 am December, 8 Jeet Kune Douche said...

FRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

If i’m not allowed to post here ever again I will feel genuinely bad.

It will force me to spend more time with my inflatable trump doll. LOTS more.

In fact, just the thought makes me tumescent.

And, just for fun:
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, HIPPIES!!!!!!!!!!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WON!!!!!
YOUUUUUUUUUUUU LOST!!!!!!!!!!!

TRUMP PRESIDENT FOR LIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

I knoa you all agree with me…………..

11:55 am December, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I still love ya DB1. Wait, they didn’t let me vote cause I was a white illegal.
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If HCwDB was still a thing, Trump would not have been elected. Abandoning your role as cultural role model left us with a void. A void filled which morphed into the alt-right.
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As Commandant of the Eastern Ontario Aryan Star Chapter, I will ask that you are spared the wrath of the coming purge of intellectuals and lesser celebrities.
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First to go on the boxcars will be complicit late night hosts, Lena Dunham, Wolf Blitzer, and all professors of the softer social sciences.
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Heil, and shit.

1:57 pm December, 9 Charles Douchewin said...

And now, for something completely different:
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Happy news of tragedies averted, for Doc Bunsen:
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http://abc7.com/pets/pit-bull-credited-with-saving-teen-from-rape-gets-his-day/1647673/
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http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/
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^Doc, is the mug of that dog photoshopped, particularly happy, or just normal?
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Who the hell is Wolf Blitzer?

6:40 pm December, 9 Carlos Danger said...

A 7-11 dumpster up the ass? How is that even possible?

1:11 pm December, 10 The Dude said...

Word.

3:23 pm December, 10 creature said...

I name my stools…for the past month they have all been ‘Donald’. The evacuation process is known as ‘Trumping’. Now I gotta go take a Trump

12:35 pm December, 12 hermit said...

Is it just me or does it seems as if DB1 is not very happy with the results of the election?
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No worries though. America’s newfound glory will benefit all her citizens. Even those who are currently less than enthusiastic will be singing praises to the Orange One when greatness is made manifest.
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Every knee shall bow to the magnificence that is Donald the Triumphant.
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And the baby Jesus will smile.

12:37 pm December, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Trump is the least of your problems in the U.S. of Israel. You do all know that all wars are bankers wars, and all bankers are Jews. I own three and I don’t even trust them.
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The funniest website since HCwDB is an alt-right site. Funny shit.
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http://www.dailystormer.com/washington-post-jew-michael-kinsley-calls-trump-a-clinical-fascist/

3:01 pm December, 12 creature said...

Yup, just flushed another Trump…called this one Baron, cuz it was smaller

10:27 am December, 13 Chadburger said...

YOU MAD, BRAAAA?

1:57 pm December, 13 hermit said...

http://mountainvagabond.tumblr.com/post/154399519598/letswatchgirls-nathalie-x-sven-hildebrandt
“Does anybody remember laughter?”…..or ass pear?

6:46 pm December, 13 Vin Douchal said...

I don’t give a shit

I wrote in Killer Kowalski for Prez. Hilary was as bad a candidate as Sarah Palin was for VP and Donald shares a lust for his daughter, Ivanka ,with me. That’s sick, man, because I’d eat her out
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Let’s all relax and just see how we’re looking in two years when there’s a chance to vote out the congress that’s done his bidding, if neccessary.
.
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Also, peep Valentina Gallego

6:52 pm December, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Ooops
.
Valentina
.
More
.
And yet more

9:30 pm December, 13 Charles Douchewin said...

Sometimes I have a hard time disambiguating good natured Ozzies, from braggadocious bags’. No offense to any one, or more, one of Nancy’s personalities.
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So, I can’t say if the guy in the link below gets leniency rules or not, but he does get get time with this OzHott. And for that, I commend him. And by commend him, I mean I’d lick the lint out of that vacuum trap just to imagine what that tastes like down under.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/today-show-vacuum-cleaner-hair_uk_57cd28aae4b09f5b5e36c91c

1:23 pm December, 15 Carlos Danger said...

Enjoy your last Christmass before the Orange Menace blows up the world!!!!

8:01 pm December, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If the (((liberals))) keep pushing, they get the hose. The multicultural hose.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATHTWAp-hEo

2:42 pm December, 16 The Dude said...

What’s the over-under on when the Cheeto Jesus is gonna start a war of his own? Day one?

11:17 am December, 17 hermit said...

Yes Dude, from day one he will declare war on unemployment, poverty and inept leadership. With pussy-grabbing intensity, he will vanquish the impotent media propagandists and lay to waste the elitist establishment.
Every (legal) man, woman and child will be joyously swept up as we shall march, ever-onward, in the unrelenting pursuit of Greatness!
Orange is the new awesome!

11:25 am December, 17 hermit said...

The salty tears of Martha Raddatz will water the seeds of liberty!

4:44 pm December, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Hermit.
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I’ve used the debacle of the liberal meltdown to expose the communist sheep in my life. I have disowned half of the people I know in my great socialist north. How they believed the lies of the jew media, Hollywood, and historical revisionism of the last century spins the brain of the most white Christian warrior? The Rev made enough money off the election to pay for all of his retroactively purchased weaponry and ammo, food stores, tents, etc for the bug out land of deer, pickerel, clean water, and fertile land. 200:1 was the odds on the day after the Glorious Leader proclaimed the rapist nature of Mexicans. God Bless You Trump and British bookies for making me rich again. For making my penis grow naturally again. For making my white brothers safe again. For turning my Jew wife into a neo-nazi again. All Hail the new order. Pray for the quick death of the cultural marxists, yuppies, and feminist.

4:45 pm December, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^and the holocaust is a myth.

10:08 pm December, 18 hermit said...

If that pantywaist socialist prime minister doesn’t appoint the Reverend Chad Kroeger Canadian ambassador to the U.N. then there is something inherently wrong with the system.
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And by “wrong with the system” I mean fuck the U.N.
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BOLQdbOFza_/?hl=en

6:24 pm December, 19 Vin Douchal said...

If Rev Peyton doesn’t get to perform at the inauguration then shame on all of us:

Rev Peyton Awesomeness

7:43 pm December, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I can not believe that DB1 is a part of the Zionist Occupying Government of the United States of Israel. HE has clemency as my friend. The UN is a Zio/Islamist conspiracy to fulfill the edict of the “Coughenouv/Kalergi ” Plan. The EU actually gives an award every year for the person most who does the most to destroy the white, Christian, patriarchy at the behest of the elders of zion. We will not take it anymore. The socialists will fail. The feminists will be boiled in a vat of patchoulli. The hippies have finally lost, but they gave us good tunes.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHsZxJlxHYw
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Every moslem attack is paid for by the CIA/Mossad cabal to inflame whites against moslems. The jew will survive.

8:58 pm December, 19 hermit said...

@Vinny D, I’ve known Josh Peyton since he was a crumb cruncher with Cheerios stuck to his pajamas. His father and I were business partners in the 80’s. Dude can definitely jam. I don’t see him playing at the inauguration, he hates Trump almost as much as our humble narrator.

7:19 pm December, 21 motorboat said...

“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.”

12:25 pm December, 23 Carlos Danger said...

I hope it was the GI Joe doll with the Kung Fu grip, otherwise your son might be a little fugaze….. know what I’m sayin?

1:15 am January, 16 Supersoar said...

Nice post, happy to read your blog

7:29 pm January, 19 Mr. Biggs said...

I’m just here for the comments section. As in, I kinda figured DB1 would have an unpleasant surprise on just how many of his regs support Trump.
Shun not, lest ye be shunned?

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