Friday, July 10, 2015

Death to Douchey

Christian-Audigier-Biography (1)The Typhoid Mary of Ed Hardy, arbiter of all things overpriced paint spackle and tiger tattoo, exploiter of the actual Ed Hardy and frequent target of mock on this website, Christian Audigier passed away yesterday at the age of 57.

I certainly do not mean to make light of the premature death of a choad style icon and spreader of cloth herpes simply because his life’s work made the world a douchier place.  By all accounts he was a good person.

Actually I have no idea if he was a good person or not. I haven’t read any accounts either way. I’m simply here to note that his product was really, really douchey.  Like source level toxicbag rot.  To those he leaves behind, I offer only condolences. To those who wore his choadlicious shirts, I will continue to mock your sorry asses with the wit and brevity of a crack addled ferret on no-doze.

At least when I bother updating this bloggy relic of a lost internet age. A memory of the Jurassic Web, I suppose. A place that sits encased in pixelated amber, refusing to give way to a streaming/app infested Facebookian controlled world. But one that wakes up when seismic shifts in the Douche Force occur.

And one occurred yesterday.

RIP Christian Audigier. I will remember you as you wanted to be remembered. Pimping overpriced, garish crap.

# posted by admin
4:59 pm July, 10 JJ said...

Awww…when I saw the news I immediately came here. IMMEDIATELY. Probably for the first time in 5 or 6 years. You and Christian Audigier will be forever linked. Like two sides of the same douchey coin. This mock-ying, to his douche-yang. I’m glad to see you are alive and well and still mocking in semi-retirement, DB1!

6:08 pm July, 10 Jeet Kune Douche said...

To honor his memory, I will vomit on one of his shirts.
As Auderriere’s polluted soul plummets into the pit of Hell, Satan himself prepares to evacuate, terrified of the arrival of such apocalyptic douchosity.

6:10 pm July, 10 Jeet Kune Douche said...

BTW: did N E 1 notice the slurpalicious blonde on the left? I’d douse my sack in charcoal lighter and hold a match to it just for the opportunity of having her scorn me.

12:25 pm July, 12 The Dude said...

In 2023, after the Googleheim retrospective of the DB1 tome, vintage stores on Melrose Ave. will jack up the prices on previously tainted Audigier vétements. And a baby seal in Santa Monica Bay will cough up a ten year old plastic bag of poodle poop that was thrown into a storm drain by one of his customers, demonstrating the never-ending cycle of life.

7:34 pm July, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

57? It must have been the consumption, or the AIDS. ROCK ON DB1 YOU LEFT HANDED JEW.

12:35 am July, 14 Jeet Kune Douche said...

I STILL can’t get over the two hussies in that pic. Just to be totally ignored by either one of them, I’d gladly pee into an electric socket.

9:51 pm July, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Fuck this guy. Opportunistic sleaze merchant with an audience of lemming-like followers bent on being individuals together with less than edgy sensibilities and just enough disposable income to make a show of themselves.
.
Didn’t that Von Dutch and Ed Hardy shit flame out awhile ago? At least Audigier did make first place per the 80’s era bumper sticker that stated, “Whoever dies with the most toys wins”
.
$250 million? What the fuck is wrong with humans?

1:55 am July, 15 DarkSock said...

Jacques D was ON FI-YAH back on April 27th 2005, and for that his Easter Egg takes him down to the river…worth chicking out, Sons…
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-large-edition/

2:18 am July, 15 DarkSock said...

April 28th, 2005….WAX ON, WHACKS OFF…
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-16/

5:24 pm July, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I shed a tear as one more target of mock bites the dust. And by shed a tear I mean laugh out loud and pump my fist.

3:49 am July, 16 Jeet Kune Douche said...

In honor of Mesewer auderierre, I will name my next bowel movement after him.

Krom shall not admit him to Valhalla, of this we can rest assured….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p0xy6hQscU

4:37 pm July, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Rev Chad
.
Did you finally go over the edge?
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8-vje-bq9c

5:48 pm July, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this a typical day for Dark Sock?
.
http://image.frompo.com/8c2f18953fcbfce5e3f72d1be60bdda5
.
Yeah, I’m bored. Get over it.

10:32 am July, 18 Charles Douchewin said...

There is so much more he had to share.
.
Like telling us why he’s wearing Jack Lalanne’s old clothes.

1:49 pm July, 18 Charles Douchewin said...

^ Like telling us about that day at the beach with his granddaughters.

11:08 pm July, 19 Adolf Skroatler said...

The news of his passing reminded me of my many good friends at HCWDB.com

Hope all is well, glad to see 99% of you guys are still going at it.

Keep it up!

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein
ASvB

2:46 pm July, 23 MC900FootDouchebag said...

Jeet Kune Douche… If you vomit on one of his shirts and nobody notices, did you really vomit on his shirt?
.
The eternal question which may never be answered.
.
Hopefully every person that bought one of his god awful shirts follows him. Quickly.

12:45 am July, 24 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Perhaps we should vomit on anyone we find wearing one of Auderriere’s shirts?

3:10 am July, 24 admin said...

@ Doc Bunsen:
.
FUCK YES

3:19 am July, 24 DarkSock said...

Speaking of Doc B, he won the last Fraiku round and got a natural Canadian Pear easter egg for his troubles:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-16/
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Do any of youse check for the easter egg pear or should I spend the 2 minutes it takes to imbed them eating tater tots/swilling Heaven’s Hill bottom shelf?

3:24 am July, 24 DarkSock said...

New Fraiku circa April 29th 2005…gettin’ close to Katrina, sons…
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-sons/

5:06 pm July, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

How the holy fuccen hell doesn’t Rev Chad has his own YouTube channel that’s up for an award at this?
.
http://vidcon.com/about/

2:02 am July, 30 admin said...

Speaking of Rev…he won the last Fraiku, and got a free pear:
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-sons/

2:07 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

April 30th, 2005: the real question is asked…
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-17/

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