Friday Haiku
The pale globe sets ‘ere,
Hark! Aye, ’tis the douche-face lick.
Wrong. So very wrong.
Mama’s little boy
She’s given birth, something’s wrong
baby is a douche
— george dubya douche
dont look now hottie
but your ashtray’s licking you
put out smoke in eye
— bcs
Spider-man comic
Stenciled on this douchebag’s arm
Stan Lee is not pleased
— mr. white
hott – cigarette burn
to face best way to fight off
gene simmons douchebag
— summer’s eve satchel
wifebeater douche licks,
hot has pooch face, great hogans
I miss breast feeding
— douche bigalow
Night Oranger
Sister Douchebag, oh your tan has come,
As you know that you’re the only one,
To say, lets spray,
Where you going, what you douching for,
You know those boys,
Don’t want to spray no more with you,
It’s true.
You’re scrotoring
What’s your price for flight
In finding mister tight,
You’ll be orange tonight…
Redbag / Not a Redbag
Okay, so Red’s not really that ‘baggy. More like caught in a bad moment.
But Reindeer Girl-Next-Door has that innocent pouty bedroom eyes of a vicodaned up Hilton sister on a three day bender through Tahoe.
So maybe it ain’t the best HCwDB pic. I’m already drunk and it’s 2pm. So up goes Red.
The Boobonic Plague
And here we were thinking it was rats that spread the 14th Century plague.
When all that time, it was this guy.
Rhode Scholars
Irish Eyes writes in:
—-
DB1-
GodDAMN, your site is genious. I have spent endless hours of horror on HCwDB, perusing bleeth and choad… You are providing a much-needed service, sir.
However, Jersey–while it may be the original spawning site of the doucheplague–is by no means exclusive to all things scrote.
Rhode Island, that festering toilet of Mafioso wannabes and s@#tty clubs with lame house music, has a douchebag community that is quite spectacular in its own right.
Not cool enough to be Boston, or hip enough to be NYC, the Providence-Johnston-Warwick area is known as a quasi-Bermuda Triangle…you can send a fresh-faced, truly nice kid of 18 into one of those dance ghettoes, and he will invariably emerge as the newest member of ClubDouche.
Keep up the excellent work!
—-
Some call it the smallest state in the United States.
I call it a half hour drive.
The Vampire Boob
Ever lie in bed and night and think to yourself, “Hey, I wonder what a creepy old vampire with a fake rubber boob in his mouth would look like partying with two college chicks?”
Well wonder no more.
Deep in the Scrote of Texas
Dallas.
Some call it a city in Texas.
Others, a cheesy primetime soap opera from the 1980s. Still others, Jack’s upstairs neighbor.
I call it one of the Five.
Along with Chicago, Miami, Las Vegas and the Jersey/L.I. Corridor. One of the originary Grieco Virus nexus points.
And so very, very poo.
'Strailian Autopsy II
Oh, Australia.
First, Olivia Newton-John.
Now this.
Wednesday Limerick
Two no-shirt spiky haired trains,
The rain in Spain couldn’t purge their stain,
The blond is Hott,
Although slightly fembot,
So lets ship this nasty oil slick back to Bahrain.
Tiki Wiki
Add army cargo pants to the “white belt” category of emerging 2008 douchal trends.
And yes, I see you, perky Lithuanian Princess in the white hat. You’ve been on the site before. But each time I want to tickle your inner thigh with a tiny ostrich feather and a satchel of licorice.
I also see you brought your friend with the belly button star-tatt. Kendra. The one majoring in “hair styling” over at Florida State.
You can bring her, too.
Just flush the muscle turds down the sink first.
