Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Brothabag Trey

Your humble narrator is finishing up a quiet weekend of semi-vacation in beautiful New York City.

I’ll pick up the posting tomorrow, but won’t be back at full speed until a week from Monday.

In the interim, I meditate on the Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh, and consider the cultural branding of eroticism as product in the age of mass stimulation.

While you perform your own HCwDB Meditations before 2009’s hunting begins, here’s Brothabag Trey macking on Nicole, The Tasty Sorority Hott.

Note Brothabag Trey’s scrotorious underwear poke and kissy-lips. Buddha says they are Poo.

"Douchebags" by Runawaybox

Runawaybox contributes to the growing musical sub-genre with a moderately amusing tune, albeit featuring the genius line, “because a party can never have enough dudes.”

At this rate, I need to put out an HCwDB Concept Album.

Reader Mail: Jerz 'Bag Tag

Nicole writes in with a Four-Pack Jerz Scrote ‘Bag Tag from her archives:

—-
hi! i absolutely adore your site and felt the need to send you these pictures that i took of myself and my friend in Jersey (where else?) a few years ago.

xoxo,
nicole
—-

I enjoy these pics too, Nicole. Nice ‘bag tags.

Now send me the pics afterwards, when you and your friend decided to engage in a pillow fight, then rub melted marshmallow peeps on each other’s shoulders while giggling and gasping breathy moans, and then deciding to take a group shower to wash each other’s perspiring kneecaps fully clean.

That is what happened next, right?

Where's Waldouche: Skinny-Ass Tool Edition

Somewhere in this lineup of girl-next-door rural midwestern cutes, I’ve carefully hidden a skinny-ass Waldouche Orange Spitbucket of Poo.

Look closely.

Can you find him?

Yeah, this pic’s got nothing to do with the post-Christmas ambiance, as we chill out the site during the pre-New-Years malaise.

But I’d still like to set his Yuletides on fire, then take Tiny BlueStripe Nurse out for gingerbread cookies, Egg Nogs, and light thigh-cheek paddlings with a large black Santa belt and a minidisc playing bootleg Tom Waits in the background.

Because nothing goes with black Santa belt butt paddlings quite like bootleg Tom Waits.

Friday Thoughts and Links

Friday Thoughts and Links on this quiet post-Christmas Friday:

A clean-shaven, pensive, Brothabag Leon celebrates his 2008 Douchie Award by gettin’ down with tha Jerz Ladiez. That hair is getting creepily Milennium ‘Bag on us.

Burger King is now selling bodyspray. The scent of seduction mixed with flame broiled burgers. Have it your way.

2008 Douchie Runner-Up for “Most Likely to be Part of the Guggenheim’s Permanent Collection in 2023,” Sundays’ in the Part with Jorge’s Jorge celebrates with a friend.

Awww… isn’t it cute when High School seniors get all emo and porny for their prom.

Up north in Canada, they have their own issues with “Mystery”-like clubchoad asshats trying to “score the ladiez” in a show called Keys to the VIP. And by “VIP,” they mean something that uses the acronym “V.I.P” but means cockgoblins.

Nub loves the barely legals. And the barely legals love Nub.

MTV douche Brody Jenner emulates the legend that is Samurai Scrote. And speaking of Samurai Scrote…

Finally, the most important link you will ever click on:

The Legend that is Samurai Scrote Infiltrates the silent raw footage off a music video shoot while Carly Hott dances (no sound)

Carly Hott first appears at :26 seconds, while S.S. rocks the pink guitar in the foreground. S.S. finally makes his full presence known 1:15-1:50.

And you say I didn’t get you anything for Christmas.

Fan Mail

aNDY writes in:

—-
Subject: yOU r THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG!

i REALLY HAVE A HaRD TIME UNDERSTANDING YOUR “MISSION” YOUR JUST A JEALOUS LITTLE PRICK WITH A PROBLEM BECAUSE YOU CANT COMPETE!!

I would love to meet you! You have no Idea what it takes to be a real man!
—-

It’s like Tony Montana used to say. First you get the Viagra. Then you get the penis enlargement. THEN you get the walkin-around-money.

Friday Haiku

‘Roidbags in the bar,
mug Pushup Bra Exchange Hott,
Inga: “Ja? Du Smell poo?”

Post-Christmas shopping
will see many gift returns,
though she kept saline.

— Don’t wheeze the douche!

No regs on Haiku,
Me and DWTD hang,
Enjoyin’ Saline.

— Douchebag1

Two douche moon’s
Collide into heavenly stars
Is that the female “Bra”?

— Marcos Douchebagdatis

nipple ring on left
then it’s star-way to heaven
monkeyboy confused

— Anonymous

Way up firm and highs
Violate Natural Law
Hairless scrotes violate all

— Baron Von Douchehausen

Gunther's Merry Christmas

Creepy Swedouche Singer Gunther says “Merry Christmas!”

Merry Christmas

From all of us here at HCwDB. And by all of us, I mean me.

May none of your Santa’s Elves Hotts find themselves being mugged by a Criss Angel wannabe douche twatwaffle at any of your holiday parties this holiday season.

And may Blonde Angel be wrapped in a red bow and placed by my chimney this ‘eve.

And by tree, I mean my yuletide log.

And by yuletide log, I mean phallus.

And by phallus, I mean tasty chocolate HoHos.

T'was the Night Before Douchemas

…and outside the house,
two putzbags were Shocking,
while sandwiching Lola’s boobies.

Hmm. That didn’t rhyme.

Haven’t seen a leather pop this annoying since the Lenny Kravitz “I want to Fly” craze of the late 1990s.

Run, Lola, run!

Yup. The DB1 is clearing out the Christmasbag pics from the pixel attic and enjoying his first tasty can of Natty Light. It tastes like pee. Bring back the PBR.