Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

The Check-Please Guy

There’s always one in every crowd.

The dude who’s got a sure fire stock tip and brags about the engine in his white BMW 535.

Yup.

That guy.

Finger guy.

The guy who ruins the various games the other four are throwing at Cute Officeworker Cindy.

Stare at it long enough and a Ron Howard movie might break out.

Your Monday Morning Bob Puker

While ginormous douche-watches haunt the collective unconscious, and Bob Puker macks on Paid-to-Woo Sandra, it’s time your humb narrs fired things up around here.

Lots of pics in the hamper, but always grateful to all who send in bag ‘tags. If ya have want to track down some quality HCwDB pics to submit for the site, send em to douchebag1 at hotchickswithdouchebags dot com. Or use the link up top.

This site’s quality mock relies on the hard work of the pic hunters, and I tip my diaper-stained cup of Night Train to y’all for helping me to keep this place humming along.

Your #2, DarkSock, is also recovering from some pretty heavy surgery. He’s fine, and will rejoin us shortly, but light a sparkler to Vishnu in his honor. These horses ain’t gonna pee in themselves.

Music in the Key of "Hey!"

Herpster folk rock.

Shouting “hey!” in rhythmic form since early 2011.

Douchebusters

Nothing gives me greater joy than seeing the douche mock continue to go global.

Our work here has not been in vain, my friends.

Friday Thoughts and Links

Ya know, it’s one set of trashiness when the ladies are getting the frontal tramp stamps to mark their skin with the taint of collective poo.

It’s quite another when average joes like Fwippy are doing it.

Not a good career move, Fwippy.

Combine the Groin Shave Reveal, fwip hair, and tonguedouchery, and it’s enough to kick an aarvark in the sphincter.

But I can’t be too upset. For it’s Friday.

And you know what that means.

Me. Scratching myself. Watching TV. And changing diapers.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Retro Alt Lit Book Pic of the Week: “They’re whackin’ off to it, fer chrissake!”

The day Leonard Nimoy gave a cab ride to John F. Kennedy. An amazing read.

Things that should not happen in life: Dudes in speedos at sporting events. Regardless of whether linkbait borg website Buzzfeed finds him “hot” or not.

So it turns out if you record crickets chirping and slow it down, it sounds like people singing.

Sign #5 that the apocalypse is nigh.

Brothabags, Abs, and Nipple Reveal. (nominally NSFW)

Instagram and the female douchebag.

Qatar stadium looks like a giant, um… oyster.

Here are some porn videos for your weekend entertainment. The greatest of all women, Pornstars in videos here for you to compare you girlfriend or wife with. Once again we have found the best sex videos for you to enjoy until our next update 🙂 (Sponsored Links)

Funny faces in everyday objects. Green pepper faces for the win.

The advantages of the Pear.

Bleeth. No. Strike that. Awful human being.

Ok, here’s your pear:

Coffee Pear

And all was settled in Liliputia.

Friday Haiku

Creeper Max Headdouche,

Ruins Bro Pete’s mad sexin’,

Sad clowns weep at fair.

——–

Festival Omen

Harbinger of Doom

– Bag Em Tag Em

The Thing with Two Heads

Rosey Grier weeps

– Charles Nelson Douchely

My mannaries fail

Provide mommy’s milk

– The Dude

Kim regrets Christian

out his conjoined twin

– Magnum Douche P. I.

You don’t bring your Mom

Monkey on your back?

– Dickie Fingers

The Nazca Lines dress

Planet of the Douche!

– Charles Douchewin

Misplaced boob fondle

MILF gets impatient

– Dr Magnifico

It puts the glasses

The hose. New Wave Hose.

– The Reverend Chad Kroeger

JB Sings Limp Bizkit Covers at Karaoke Tuesday

Chiquita Vanessa, a quality selection of quality suckle bobble, is unamused by JB’s choice of life-preserver wearing antics.

Suburban Gangsta Joe is Totally Gangsta

Little known fact about throwing gang signs in outer Long Island when surrounded by loving friends and family: It makes you a douchescrote.

Wait.

That’s actually a well known fact.

I’d also like to welcome the long time fans of HCwDB over at Girls Gone Wild who just bought an ad to help keep the site going. Show them some love. They’ve come a long way since whassisface left.

Jen Kim's Wild Night

This isn’t going to end well.

Nice Guy Chuck Wins at the Game of Life

Even with the barely pubescent ‘stache, Nice Guy Chick Wins.

His prize?

Sclutsy Sophia.

What’s “Sclutsy” you ask? Sclutsy, a word I just made up, is when slutty and classy cohabit to form eternal loin want.

Enter that one in Urban Dictionary.

Either that, or Officer Sclutsy was the chief villain in West Side Story. I can’t remember which.