Boatbaggery

    Wednesday, June 1, 2011

    Douchebags on Boats

    This pic of unholy toxic boatbaggery in presence of hottie continues our growing inventory of photographic evidence that forces us to consider that most profound of questions:

    Does the douchebag like to hang on a boat with bikini hotties?

    Or does hanging on a boat with bikini hotties turn one douchey?

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, May 13, 2011

    This Guy Wins

    I wish there was more to mock with this Oldbag Boatbag Stupidhead. Unfortunately, stupid tribal arm tatt and day-glo douche shorts don’t give me much to go on.

    We’ll give him a stage-1 mock, and quickly move on to the real reason I posted the pic.

    For Zebra Bikini Ashley is all that is firm and glorious about prime specimen suckle thigh and viable womb.

    I would build a shine to her forefathers using only melted Jolly Ranchers, toothpicks and brill cream just for the chance to lick/gargle tea made from the gauze used to treat her thigh rash after a particularly taxing day of horseback riding before Kelly’s debutante ball.

    Which is to say I chomp approvingly.

    Even if she is using a Bud Light Lime cozy.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, May 5, 2011

    Where’s Boatwanks?

    Somewhere in this catamaran Darksockian boatcrashery, I’ve carefully hidden not one, not two, but three puddy boatwank Waldeeche.

    Look closely.

    Can you knock them off their penis substitute boats with an oar and hit on Kelly by offering her a Miller Lite?

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 30, 2011

    Mister Zebracrotch

    Interesting footnote to history, Pablo Picasso was originally nicknamed “Mister Zebracrotch.” But Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.

    The Orangenesss is strong in Granddaughter Karnie. She must resist the genetic impulse, or rampant boatbaggery will soon ensue.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, February 4, 2011

    The Scrub Boat

    Calling your girlfriend a “He” is one thing, Barney. Accusing him/her of being gay, now that’s just juvenile.

    What’s next? Spending your early 30s blowing all your money on hair gel, bad tatts, and hanging with your mandana-wearing bros on party boats so you don’t have to face down your lack of spiritual growth since you read “The Tao of Pooh” in Junior High?

    Yes.

    Yes it is.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, September 21, 2010

    Vanilla Lice Buys a Boat

    And discovers the power of boatbaggery to acquire a lineup of Lakepear.

    Even his wacky sidekick, Jethro, is getting in on the action.

    And by getting in on the action, I mean a part time shift at Bob’s Country Bunker. Where they got both kinds. Country, and western.

    Mmm… polka pear. So firm. So confused and frustrated by the limitations of small town living.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, August 30, 2010

    Blu Ray


    Blu Ray knows what the ladies want.

    And what the ladies want is a Smirnoff Ice.

    And years of emotional dysfunction due to low self esteem fostered in childhood.

    # posted by douchebag1