Monday, July 7, 2014

Douchebags are Apparently Back

I’m not okay with this.

Not.

Okay.

With this.

Unironic braggadocio with stupid hat and doucheface. Performed by shamelessly moronic hip hop suburban choadwanks.  Flashin’ Benjamins, luxury (rented) cars, and lots of paid-to-boobs as proof of alpha male package.

The stupid. It burns.

Yet The Huffington Post just called this the proverbial jam of the summer.

Not okay.

Reeks like foot fung. Like donkey dung. Like the absolute worst of the mid 2000s.

I’m not saying HCwDB is back. I’m focused on my Podcast these days.

But after we’d accomplished so much over the years, I am not okay with this. A pile of rank taintstain. A pustulous music ‘video.’ It is a step back into a fetid pile of sheep piddle.  It rankles the cockles of my benevolent soul.

# posted by douchebag1
3:18 pm July, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

Boss,
Just when you thought you were out they pulled you back in. I feel your pain and best of luck with your podcast, family, life etc;

3:21 pm July, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

I made it through 32 seconds of that video and my disgust with society and the all important quest for 15 minutes makes me want to punch a puppy which i would never do as puppies rule!!.

3:31 pm July, 7 Ted Brogan said...

What are those things?

3:35 pm July, 7 Ted Brogan said...

Also, what happened to my Gravatar?

5:28 pm July, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A few questions:
.
Doesn’t the driver of the truck know what reverse is?
.
Does the driver of the car know that the long pedal speeds it up?
.
Why did that guy open up the back of the truck? They were so close to the border.
.
Why doesn’t someone smack that asshole playing the trumpet in the face while he’s playing. That shit hurts like hell when it happens. (yeah, surprise surprise, I was a band geek in H.S. and I played a trumpet)
.
Who let these fuccks out of the basement he admits that they were in?

5:45 pm July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

So, …. here’s the lyrics to “Let’s Ride”
.
I said it, I meant it – all that money I’m spendin’
All those rims that I buy, all that wreck in my engine
I guess I’m a menace, don’t you eva forget it
The life of the party, I might end up sorry
But now I can say that I’ll never regret it
.
(Hook x2)
Let’s ride, muthafucka let’s ride
Do it off till the day I die
Let’s ride, muthafucka let’s ride
Tried it all cause I can’t decide
.
(Verse)
Game through, word to the crew
One to the head always turned to the two
Tryna make a name off the words I use
Now I’m up the game with a bird’s eye view

.
.

Deconstructing these lyrics I’m going to go with : this is a story about a 16 year old boy that just got his license and Uncle gave him a fairly decent older car. He’ll be receiving 5-6 tickets within the next two months, most likely rear end a Lexus and will drive from mile one with no insurance.
.
The DUI that eventually revokes his driving privilege will be a win for society and hopefully cost any/every dollah earned from the pimply-faced 12 year-olds that purchase this shittier than shit tune
.
Thank you Hollywood hype machine and the deep pockets that paid Huffington Post to write a glowing review
.
Assholes

6:10 pm July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Like the way that awful synth rock was destroyed by Nirvana in the late 80’s , Jack White needs to repeat history. Today’s pop music is quite possibly the worst ever. EVER, I says
.
A generation turns it’s lonely eyes to you, Mr White:
.
Lazaretto

6:23 pm July, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin,

Mr. White is the man!!!, also note the tubes amps in the video, loves me a tube amp.

8:13 pm July, 7 Wheezer said...

“Tried it all cause I can’t decide”
.
This shows his inner desires for self-exploration. He thought he liked “da bitches,” but there’s self-doubt.
.
“Game through, word to the crew
One to the head always turned to the two”
.
I think he has made up his mind, and this means where he makes “#1″ is always wanting to be inside where his bros make “#2.”

8:31 pm July, 7 Wheezer said...

Welp…..let’s see if we get a couple of new visitors to the site, eh?
.
[wheezerYT
1 second ago
.
I came here from "Hot Chicks with Douchebags," figuring this song would be terrible.
.
Choking after 30 seconds, I had to shut it off. This is awful. I'm surprised I made it this long.]

8:37 pm July, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d Fenny her Argentina. Oops wrong site

4:09 am July, 8 DarkSock said...

In other old news, back on Feb. 22, 2005 there was a possible Irono-Douche conundrum…
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/02/ironic-hipster-beard-goes-for-the-jugggular/

4:32 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

Podcast?

.

Hmmm… I shall investigate this seeming conjoining of Pod Peeps and Fishermen. I just finished listening to Bill Hanstock discuss the merits of Primer vs. Looper… while eating Costco chicken bakes in the empty bedroom that used to house my son before The Smart came and took them away.
.
Meanwhile, Der Doucheland has stripped the Brazzo’s of every shred of ball kicking dignity they had. Achtung! Baby.

4:22 pm July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

One way to improve this video would be if these kids stalled their car next to a Social Distortion concert and the mosh pit’s natural wave ventured over to them and swept them up in a tornado flume of kicks to the shins, kidney sucker punches, hard shoulder to shoulder bumps and elbows to the temples leaving them disheveled, bloodied and barely standing/breathing to the point where they spell and speak in grammatically correct English knocking the stupid right out of them

7:48 pm July, 9 douchebag said...

Holy smokes, this is quite possibly the saddest website i’ve ever come across!

7:57 pm July, 9 Bob said...

Wow, what happened to you all in high school?

2:15 am July, 10 Ryan said...

from the replies i’ve gathered that the people on this website are no fun, 9-5 working middle class americans who went through high school and college with no friends. these guys are probably making more money than you, WHILE enjoying their lives. what are you doing? waking up every day and going to your boring job making enough to get by.. maybe you can learn a thing or two about happiness from the guys in this video

8:25 am July, 10 brian said...

I think the song is pretty good. And I dont need to put in fancy words to say so. This website is pretty childish and judgementle if you ask me. Bunch of pencil pushers who never thought outside of the box.

11:33 am July, 10 The Duke said...

Damn, I mean the song is good.. I don’t believe these commenters would have self generated these opinions if they came across the video/ song on their own. Instead they are simply following the opinions of their fearless leader.. Also, at least the person who wrote the article could have said something.. There is literally just a mash up of made up poop words. ‘taint stain’ ‘chode wank’ ‘foot fung’ ‘donkey dung’ ‘sheep piddle’ way to really drive home your point bro.. douchebag.

12:40 pm July, 10 Judge Mentle said...

Looks like some of the band have decided to post. You guys should try to work sheep piddle into your lyrics. It would make as much sense as what you’ve done so far. Enjoy your two months of fame.

2:04 pm July, 10 Kasey said...

This video and song were created by several very hard working individuals who have dedicated their lives to doing something they love. You can sit on your self appointed high horse and make insignificant insults about them but all you’re doing is motivating them. I wish I could make a living writing simplistic articles online about people I don’t even know. Must be nice.

3:27 pm July, 10 Judge Mentle said...

They need more auto tune to emphasize their talent.
Damn the view is good up here on my high horse.

6:12 pm July, 10 Wheezer said...

Awwwww, look at the multiple personalities of one lonely choadwank “all” posting whiny defense of a bunch of other nitwits. LOL!

2:44 am July, 11 admin said...

February 23rd 2005 – Suffer ye the red pantelones…EEF YOU DARE
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/02/friday-haiku-272/

2:45 am July, 11 DarkSock said...

Bloody Hell…I mean,
.
February 23rd 2005 – Suffer ye the red pantelones…EEF YOU DARE
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/02/friday-haiku-272/

5:53 am July, 11 Number1 said...

Didn’t your mamas teach you all if you can’t say
Something nice don’t say anything at all??
You all have way too much time on your hands
Sounds to me like somebody is a bit jealous
Get a job and do something constructive with
Your lives … I couldn’t be more proud of this
Fabulous group and what they have accomplished
It’s funny how quickly the green eyed monster
Appears as soon as somebody does well.
Jealousy is the best form of flattery … As a fan
I thank you … Keep it up … And…LETS RIDE!

5:19 pm July, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

” I couldn’t be more proud of this
Fabulous group and what they have accomplished”
.
wow. way to set the bar so low.

8:03 pm July, 11 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Damn! And I wanted to be Judge Mentel!!!

8:30 pm July, 11 Wheezer said...

[Didn’t your mamas teach you all if you can’t say
Something nice don’t say anything at all??]
.
Nope. Our mothers and fathers (yes, we had both…..and in the same house) taught us to be adults and to be productive once we were on our own. You know, getting jobs and paying our own bills and all that kind of adult stuff. That happened by the age of 18, too, not 27 (maybe) for yahoos like you.

8:50 pm July, 11 FredN. said...

Hahahhahahah. Spelling-ness ability to cumguzzler ratio is super high for the Lets Ride bois and girlz. Or is it super low. Whatevs, I have to run downstairs and mix another vodka and lemonade while the kid naps.

Happy Friday slutbutts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3_mGMk5IPo

1:18 am July, 12 Pfft said...

It’s been a while, boys.
Thought you were gone, but like a phoenix you are rising from the flames.

Anyway…
1:59 – front left chick adjusts her bra.
On that budget, there are no retakes.

3:59 am July, 12 Ghost of Pumpy said...

I know this will make me sound like a hatter, but it was a buyer’s market when you got into the blog game, but every swingin’ dick has already had a podcast for 3 years at this point. It’s going to be a hard slog

Maybe you could interview Snooki???

7:21 pm July, 12 huh? said...

I’ve always found that flattery is the sincerest form of flattery. Jealousy tends to end in murder/suicide, hurt feelings, lost jobs, lost lovers, all kinds of shit.

Fabulous or not whatever these guys are doing, it’s not called ‘working’.

I wish I could make a living–waving my hands in the air and spouting clichés that rhyme. Oh wait, no I don’t. I have some pride for fuck’s sake.

8:54 pm July, 14 MC900FootDouchebag said...

I just had to scrub my eyeballs with bleach and brillo.

As someone who had a little toe in the cesspool that is music videos and the bands that go along with them, I’ll say this to the chumps praising these sheep piddles… short of this thing being THE hit of the year, these guys won’t be able to move out of mom’s double wide. Seriously, musicians don’t really make shit any longer. Illegal downloads have bent over and ass raped clowns like these guys. Singing this same song for 2 hours ain’t gonna allow them to tour either, which is where they could possibly make a little scratch.

9:38 pm July, 14 hermit said...

Mary Poppins is gagging on anthrax and hemorrhaging viscous blood into the tops of her tightly-laced plastic boots and yet, you laugh.

3:50 am July, 15 admin said...

Time machine post. Nancies.
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/02/81490/

6:52 pm July, 16 colossus of choads said...

worse than Helloween

3:43 am July, 18 DarkSock said...

Wayyy back in the day (February 26th, 2005, to be precise) Hatters gonna…hat?
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/02/friday-haiku-4-hatters-yo/

6:20 pm July, 19 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Here, enjoy a rare photo.

Mongor with a second facial expression, other than the generic blank stare.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=285680941595257&set=a.169889343174418.1073741826.100004600595234&type=1&permPage=1

11:19 am July, 20 Wheezer said...

Here is Mongor showing a variety of emotions. I think he inspired Kristen Stewart’s acting chops:
.
http://tinyurl.com/ox3wp3j
.
A Mongor fan writes in:
“sickkkkk, keep up tha dubstep bro”

5:27 pm August, 4 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

What Vin Douchal said.

8:19 pm August, 5 jonezy said...

I know.
.
I said I hope I never see Emo Hulk again.
.
But wouldn’t it be sweet to watch him bite off the head of one of these… um, rappers?
.
I’m guessing that the commenters defending these kids have a veritable trophy case of participation awards from their AYSO soccer leagues, various “sportsmanship” awards from their junior varsity glory days, and a stack of attendance certificates for individual months of the school year.

3:41 am August, 28 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Soooooo, have these guys hit it big? I watched this video here, once, and have never heard the song again.

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