Friday Thoughts and Links
May your weekend pass like a photobombing Warren Beatty Bro in presence of a scaled down Patsy Kensit party hott and her sexy Malaysian friend at a creepy wedding in Sheboygan.
Sadly, as I learned the other day when I queried a room full of hott appreciators, no one knows who Patsy Kensit is anymore. This makes your humb narrs sad. As a fallow teenager, I weeped tears of action-adventure sadness when Kensit was forced to die as part of Riggs’s grieving process in Lethal Weapon 2.
It broke my Hebraic heart that this lithe Aryan suckle hott with the alpaca-like overbite would need to die so an alcoholic anti-Semite could quell the crazy for an hour or two.
So here’s to you, Patsy Kensit.
You may have married one of the douchiest flash-in-the-pan British rock stars of all time and consigned yourself to a 1990s Trivial Pursuit card for eternity. But I still poke your proddle.
Here’s yer links:
Your HCwDB Buy Some Shit To Support the Site Link of the Week: What HC1 will ideally be wearing on Halloween. 
In Soviet Union, guitar play hot chick.
The Griecobag himself, source virus of the entire douche plague, Richard Grieco posted his latest artwork to Facebook. Here it is: Dawn of the Wolf. You’re welcome.
Internet sensation and Semitic Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh Meytal Cohen. Still out there. Still without a discernible form of income.
When they ask you about the 1980s, tell them this.
Want proof we’re winning the war on douchebaggery? Victory!
The latest Chinese beach trend: Face-kini.
Here’s 38 images of Brechtian genius.
Okay. Nuff that. For those of you in the winter climates as it grows colder:
Wave butt.
Friday Haiku
Mia said “Good night;
I’m feeling a little horse…”
…I’ll be here all week…
Donkey Douche out
for a night on the town
forgets people mask
— Chris in ‘Baghdad
Girls call him “Mister
Trifecta”. Horse face, rough ride,
finishes real quick
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Unclear on concept:
Save a horse, ride a douchebag?
Cowboys sing the blues.
— Charles Douchewin
When Orwell wrote “Two
legs good, four legs bad” he could
never thought of this.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
PCP. It’s not
Just for breakfast anymore
She rides the pony.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Sarah Jessica
Parker enters club. This guy
says “hey sis, what’s up?”
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Herspters
Herpsters with stupid ‘staches.
A plague on Los Angeles’s Silverlake area for the past ten years.
Ther is only one ‘stache that is forever exempt from mock. It is The Holy Stache of Oates.
The rest are mere pretenders to the throne.
Asian David Arquette Parties Like A Rock Star
There’s David Arquette.
And then there’s Asian David Arquette.
And somewhere in the middle, there’s a cinnabon.
Pomping Irene
Elvis? More like El-MISS!!
Ha!
Ahaha!!
Ahaha…
heh…
(ahem)
So, where you all from?
The Flobot Snags Hard Rock Heather
And the Lilliputians rejoiced!!
I have no idea what that means.
I fondled a kitten once.
Bros Bored By Pear
This post brought to you by broccoli, the brontosaurus, and the nation of Bromania.
Reader Mail: Unclear on the Concept
Angry Felicia writes in with one of the more dubious , inaccurate, and probably just the classic “spurned ex” douche tags of recent times:
———-
Subject: Shit talking doiche
This Travis he is a special kind of stupid meanin he doesn’t know how to open his mouth without talking shit to everyone around him. Travis might be compensating for only being 5’4″ but he has a habit of f@#king up anything good that comes into his life, but he would never admit it.
———
Sorry Angry Felicia, totally not seeing it and you’ve presented no supplementary supporting evidence. Without probable cause, we must acquit.
Nottadouche.
The Slovakian Boob Meld
I read about this in my sociology class.
It’s an ancient ritual that has something to do with honoring those who brought forth the fruit of the vine on this the day of hairtonement.
Joan Largeman is having nothing to do with this strange ritual. To the appletinimobile!
Yup. Got nuthin’.
Hey, whaddaya want. It’s Tuesday morning and my shirt smells of pee.
