STD #2
In case there was any doubt as to the Stereodouchtonic Twin Douchebags (STDs) deserving to be in the hallowed Hall of Scrote, let this pic of STD #2 serve as Exhibit D.
STD reminds you that it’s Friday, which means it’s time to get out there and get drunk, save a hottie, and wake up in Tijuana next to a donkey named Clover. Or was that just me?
Brunette with the now orange ubiquitous water bottle makes me want to build overpriced condos on some crappy midwestern lake.
The Splotch
Why is it the bottle blonde Little Miss Sunshine is orange, and it looks delicious, but on dudes, it looks like douche?
It’s Friday, so The Splotch goes great with the alcohol I’m about to consume. Sun burned in spots. Mealy green in other spots. Not overtly ‘baggy, but with the spiky hair and douche-face enough to qualify for the site.
But it is Brunette Jeanne Tripplehorn Hott that shakes my martini and honks my hooter. She is delightful. I will buy lots of Peroni now.
Where's Waldouche?
Somewhere, buried deep within this picture of a triumvirate of sexy post-collegiate Sorority Hotts, I’ve carefully hidden a nipple revealing toilet flush.
Hint: He has the shlong-n-balls “Mark of the ‘Bag” on his forehead.
Look carefully.
Can you find him?
'Bag / Not a 'Bag
PIC DELETED
Outside of a quasi zoot-suit and a douche-face pucker, there’s really not enough evidence to firmly convict Steve Douchemi here as a ‘bag.
But we do know that Cornfed is two Iowa stalks of pure goodness. She is not in doubt.
But the dude, I’m not so sure about. So I turn it over to you.
What do you say?
‘Bag? Or not a ‘Bag?
Friday Haiku
Moulin Rouge head grease,
Chickenlips and flaming hair,
Girl Next Door chose poor.
Spankerific Hott
Adjacent douchetrosity
Bone Zone recipe
— scrotebob douchepants
It’s Freaky Friday!
The girl and guy swapped bodies.
Neither adapted.
— duke of douchester
Bowie spins in grave
Ground Control to Major Douche
Take your helmet off
— darksock
Creator Face are you
Ricky Martin you are not
Nor is she that hot
— vaccum cleaner bagg
Let’s Dance wannabe
Just met a girl named BlueJean.
Eurotrash Douchebag.
— clementine of cappadoucha
drama class drop-out
now working make-up counter.
uses what he sells.
— pfah
Stray cat you are not
pumpkin pie hott is so sweet
what’s with that necklace?
— sir lanceadouche
Parker Lewis Likes Strippers
I’m just pleased that Parker Lewis still can’t lose.
Dammit. I’m probably the only one that remembers that show.
The Loaf of Bread in Sunlight
Ever leave a loaf of bread on a windowsill, and after a day of sunlight, it began to sprout weird multicolored fungi?
That’s tongue turd here.
Douche Fungi. I’d roll him up in a carpet and drop him down a flight of stairs until the hair fungus wilted with shame.
I love big cheekbones ambiguously Hispanic lip pout, even if she may be large in the stomach area.
Why? Because she looks vaguely like a space alien. And that’s some freaky deaky extra-terrestrial fantasies right there.
The Unicorn Says
There once was a unicorn on a hill. It stood boldly, its feet planted in plush fields of grass and daisies, with cascades of orange sunlight filtering through the foliage like amber shafts of nutrigrain.
The Unicorn stops. Sniffs the air.
And The Unicorn says, “I smell douche.”
The Unicorn shakes its soft white hair and neighs quietly. Nervously.
Because the Unicorn knows that two leathered up douchebags are pawing a Stripper Hott in a greasy sandwich formation.
And the Unicorn knows that many a woodland creature will suffer as a result.
Douche Baldwin
I’m sort of confused by Douche Baldwin’s aqua plaid “nerd” look. It’s like he raided Ken’s wardrobe from Real Genius, then launched into the brilliant scenery chewing I am God speech from Malice.
Dammit, too many film references for a Thursday.
Pokemom’s boobs and bling are a toxic swirl of hott and douchebaguette, rendering a deep rooted phallic confusion. Do I want to hump the Pokemom like a cracked out ferret? Or is there about to be a phone call in the background from a little boy looking for his mom, Maggie?
Yeah. I’m film referencing scat style like a riffing Cab Calloway because I’m hung over. I blame it on the booze. And the In-n-out Burgers. Those are good burgers, Walter.
The 2007 Douchies: Starts December 17th
HCwDB Hall of Scrote member, The Gator, is breaking out the orange tan and forehead grease as he gets ready for the 2007 Douchies.
But which Douchie will The Gator win? HCwDB of the Year? Lifetime Achievement? Douchiest Orangedness?
The 2007 Douchies. Smell the Axe.
Awards will begin being handed out the week of December 17th.
