Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Joey Lipps

Joey Lipps knew the ragin’ frat kegger wouldn’t be complete without his pink balloons.

Tina may be, like, so wasted. But the bustier is 19th Century class, so don’t forget it. Tina was a big fan of Sense & Sensibility in 5th grade.

And a special shout-out to RareAss Yellow Cup, who hasn’t been spotted in months.

Guyliner Jack

Nothing says settling into mid 40s doughy middle age quite like the slit t-shirt and the guyliner.

Sorry Jack.

Jenny’s award winning curves are Paid-to-Pose only.

No, not even if you pull your patented flippy spin move. That worked so well back in college in ’87.

HCwDB Turns Four!!!

Happy birthday fellow hunters and huntresses, mockers and boobie hottie suckle thighs!

I was hoping to have your birthday gift ready (the new site), but alas, the going is slow when the tech team is drunk.

But soon. Soon, mocking mandanas and lusting for cleavite will go to the next level.

Or maybe it won’t.

Hell if I know anymore.

Either way, we’se four.

When Frat Parties Go Wrong

After the physics conferences are over, and their papers on Quantum Mechanics and the variations of string theory have been presented, Willy and Sharlene like to unwind.

In the boiler room of a Turkish waystation and part-time torture chamber.

Meanwhile, Joey and Pete celebrate their limited futures.

Willy Has a Thought

“If dark matter is made of neutrinos, then our universe’s entropic expansion may be accelerating faster than previously thought.

And my mandana, hat and glasses may look way stupid. but Sharlene digs it.”

Where’s Sorority Girl?

Somewhere in this lineup of fresh squeezed, taint filtered juicedouche, I’ve carefully hidden one, maybe two, Sorority Girls.

Look closely.

Can you see their fathers weeping and rending their garments and cursing Ganesh?

Where's Sorority Girl?

Somewhere in this lineup of fresh squeezed, taint filtered juicedouche, I’ve carefully hidden one, maybe two, Sorority Girls.

Look closely.

Can you see their fathers weeping and rending their garments and cursing Ganesh?

Frankie the Greasehead Gets His Gall Bladder Checked

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my many days traversing the globe as a spice runner, anthropologist and part-time pimp, it’s this:

Gall bladder tongue removal just isn’t sanitary.

No, not even in Tijuana.

No HCwDB of the Week This Week

Regular voting will resume next week.

Instead, I’m giving Antonio and Vanessa, a coupling of classic Jerz Guid, an honorary HCwDB of the Week.

Because bra popping out of low cut white tanktop is about as douchebaguette as it gets for Vanessa.

And Tony busts toxic eyebrow sculpt, Ed Hardy 10 Degree Hat Tilt, and the bizarre white belt substitute phallus trend that we’ve been tracking for a year now.

But props to the Snack Shack on the Long Island shore for maintaining such quality health standards on their floor.

Questionable Self Portrait #561

At what point does a douche, at 2am with his sorority hott half drunk and sloppy, think “now would be a great time for a mirror self portrait”?

And who gets a tatt of Archimedes on their upper arm area?

Yup.

More random questions as the DB1 sits around on a Sunday and hopes his tech team decides to help get the new site back online today. So far, no luck.