Reader Mail: My Stupid Website Can Kiss His Ass
Reader Rod writes in with another thrust:
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i see you published my last email duchebag. nice. just proves i was right n ur a total jeoulous bitch. thats what i thought. u and your stupid website can chew my ass! kindly take your funny jokes, haha, and blow me.
loser.
Rod
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Well, since pics of hot chicks with douchebags are not your cup of tea, Rod, perhaps I can interest you in a pic of moobs and a lion?
Donkey Douche says, "Not So Fast, Xenu!"
Wait… Whats this?!
It’s the Donk!!
Yes, HCwDB legend and 2009 Lifetime Douchechievement Winner Donkey Douche heard that Xenu and Joey Porsche were coming by to prove their bonafides, and the Donk said, “Oh hell no!!! I can top those douchebags.”
Well, what he actually said was, “Grunnnghhhhh. Me like tacos.” But I extrapolated the rest.
Here’s the Donkster bringing another HCwDB legend of taint, 2007’s Chandlerbag, three (!) Ubiquitous Red Cups and the sweet, innocent drinkability of Julianne and her innovative boobal cell phone storage system. That’s one power-packed HCwDB pic, people.
That’s why the Donk is Hall of Scrote legend. There are many douches in this world. Few, who can bring a consistency of arm grease like the Donkster.
Donkey Douche says, “Not So Fast, Xenu!”
Wait… Whats this?!
It’s the Donk!!
Yes, HCwDB legend and 2009 Lifetime Douchechievement Winner Donkey Douche heard that Xenu and Joey Porsche were coming by to prove their bonafides, and the Donk said, “Oh hell no!!! I can top those douchebags.”
Well, what he actually said was, “Grunnnghhhhh. Me like tacos.” But I extrapolated the rest.
Here’s the Donkster bringing another HCwDB legend of taint, 2007’s Chandlerbag, three (!) Ubiquitous Red Cups and the sweet, innocent drinkability of Julianne and her innovative boobal cell phone storage system. That’s one power-packed HCwDB pic, people.
That’s why the Donk is Hall of Scrote legend. There are many douches in this world. Few, who can bring a consistency of arm grease like the Donkster.
No More "Skippy Gets Lucky"
First, Kelsey writes in:
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hey there a pic of me and a friend is on your site and I would like it removed please. Its funny but it could get me in trouble with my career. I also think its kind of weird u have a picture of me but whatever. Its the one of “skippy gets lucky” posted on april 13th
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So far so good. But then “Skippy” writes in:
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serious. skippy gets lucky take that down you do not own rights to that picture.
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Serious? Serious.
EDIT: The original image with this post was just a tad too disturbing to leave up on account of creepy Douchebaguette, but if you’d like to fry your eyeballs, check it out here.
No More “Skippy Gets Lucky”
First, Kelsey writes in:
—-
hey there a pic of me and a friend is on your site and I would like it removed please. Its funny but it could get me in trouble with my career. I also think its kind of weird u have a picture of me but whatever. Its the one of “skippy gets lucky” posted on april 13th
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So far so good. But then “Skippy” writes in:
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serious. skippy gets lucky take that down you do not own rights to that picture.
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Serious? Serious.
EDIT: The original image with this post was just a tad too disturbing to leave up on account of creepy Douchebaguette, but if you’d like to fry your eyeballs, check it out here.
Xenu: Lord of Scrotentology
Often, ‘bag hunters will email me and ask me about our hallowed Hall of Scrote legends.
“Surely these people can’t maintain their intensity of scrotological burn as they chase hotties?” they ask me. “Don’t Hall of Scrote legends burn out?”
Were that it were so, imaginary conversation person.
Earlier this week we checked in with Joey Porsche, just as douchey as ever. Today, it’s Hall of Scrote legend Xenu. Classing it up with the barely legal hotties by puttin’ on a matching tie and coat.
You go with your formal self, Xenu, Warlord of Scrotentology. Your people look up to you from their clarity tests and know you are level-8 poo.
And I see each of you, powdered bottom girls from Dusseldorf. You knew not what Americans were like until you visited on your summer exchange program. And now you curse Western hegemony. But it’s too late.
The Carrot
Diana heard that beta carotine was good for the skin. The Carrot heard that fake tanning would turn him a strange, ethereal glowing shade of crimson.
And somewhere ‘tween the two, the universe found dissonance.
Where's Pooper Mario Brothers?
Somewhere in this pic of chaste sapphic cuddling quality U. Mass Communication Major Sorority Girls, I’ve carefully hidden the Pooper Mario Brothers.
Look closely.
Can you find them?
Where’s Pooper Mario Brothers?
Somewhere in this pic of chaste sapphic cuddling quality U. Mass Communication Major Sorority Girls, I’ve carefully hidden the Pooper Mario Brothers.
Look closely.
Can you find them?
The Nipster 'Bag
There are good nip slip revealing shirts. And there are bad nip slip revealing shirts.
This concept breaks linearly by gender.
And Danny is unclear on the concept.
While Cowgirl Ronnie inspires rodeo clowns to bitchslap pedantic panhandlers with nunchucks. Which doesn’t make sense. But, boobies.
