“No Way”
If you run the lyrics through the Douche-to-English translator, they read:
I bring shame to my ancestors,
I’m the cause of grease fires at fast food restaurants,
Why does my peepee burn?
Noooo wayyyyyy
Where's Waldhipsterbag?
Somewhere in this lineup of five top quality buttgrabby teethsinkery and teddy bear fondle peach pumpkin hottsicles, I’ve carefully hidden a Waldouche Hipsterbag.
Look closely.
Can you find his ironic hipster sunglasses?
Where’s Waldhipsterbag?
Somewhere in this lineup of five top quality buttgrabby teethsinkery and teddy bear fondle peach pumpkin hottsicles, I’ve carefully hidden a Waldouche Hipsterbag.
Look closely.
Can you find his ironic hipster sunglasses?
Ask DB1: Why the $#@s and *@#s?
—-
Deebs1,
Why you always adding those weird @!#$@ things to curse words? Like writing “f*ck” instead of the real thing? I mean c’mon bro, surely you’re not afraid to curse on the site. What’s the deal?
– Marco Vesputin
—-
The explanation is a silly one, M.V. HCwDB has been fighting a long, losing battle with large corporate work I.T. filters that refuse their employees the enlightenment that comes with practicing the Zen art of Hottie/Douchey mock.
Apparently HCwDB has been determined to be “non work related” in nature.
You’d think boobie lusting wasn’t the reason why most men go to work in the first place. And douchebaggery the reason most women hate their jobs.
HCwDB 2.0 is live!!
If you bookmarked this site, and/or are coming here through a link, the original HCwDB URL is active again, so head on over there for the latest hottie/douchey mock:
This site is dead, but will remain up as an archive of the old site. However the new updates are over there, so head on over.
Friday Thoughts and Links
It’s sunny and 74 degrees in Los Angeles, as your narrator gives you the weather report with a nod of homage to the great David Lynch.
The Margarita sisters are drinking out of RareAss Clear Cup, while meatheads Vin and Sal pose like scrotal rocks.
My obsession with Hostess Fruit Pies continues since the local bodegas began stocking them above the Ring Dings.
I nosh on some chemical fruit. And I laugh at silly watches on douchescrotes.
Life is good.
Here’s your links:
HCwDB legend Joey Porsche arrested?
Hot Chocolate Bunnies with Douche Chocolate Bunnies.
Speaking of greatest things, how about the greatest closing title sequence of the 80s . Weller + Goldblum = win, even if one of Bonzai’s crew is a proto-douche.
For there is only one collar pop that gets a nottadouche, and it is Buckaroo Bonzai. Rockstar Leniency Rule exemplified.
Giant Isopods feast. Or, as they call it in Jersey, “All You Can Eat.”
You know you want it. You know you’ve earned it.
So who am I to deny you your reward for another week of douche mocking?
Not enough? Okay, one more.
Hourglasspear. I want to teethe upon ’tis cheek.
Red Lobster
Please Sarah, whatever you do, don’t try the crabs.
The Real Housewives of Choadklahoma
And the milfs ask, “Is that a banana on your shirt or are you just a heaping pile of smelly douchepoo?”
Oh Sarah Jessica mom on the right.
How your zebra boobies refuse to stay concealed with the firmest of resistances.
How I applaud those resiliant boobies in this, the time of your 30s. With two annoying kids in the back of your SUV.
Your life suggests vacuous middle class suburban malaise. Endless Red Lobster dinners and CostCo shopping cards. But your boobies refuse to give in to the mediocrity of culture sprawl.
And for that, I touch them awkwardly with my pinky.
Friday Haiku
Stallone Douche says “yo!”
Shows toxic Groin Shave Reveal,
While Pam’s boobs implode.
Those pink ta-maters
Give me wood this fine morning
Douchebag kills the mood
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Flesh-eating worms grow
big in each abdomen. Feed
on Axe and plastic.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Her name is Nena
Not all of the poofed balloons
Are long, white and bent.
– Wheezer
Weather looks steamy,
A polka-dot bikini,
One tiny weenie.
– scrotum pole
Today’s episode
Of Douching for Dollars is
Brought to you by splut
– saulgoode42
Her boobs are legit
As Gypsy Three Card Monte
Using three d-cups
– Vin Douchal
Friday Thoughts and Links
This is the new site, but it’s a mess right now, so don’t look anywhere but here. Nothing else is online.
It’s sunny and 74 degrees in Los Angeles, as your narrator gives you the weather report with a nod of homage to the great David Lynch.
The Margarita sisters are drinking out of RareAss Clear Cup, while meatheads Vin and Sal pose like scrotal rocks.
My obsession with Hostess Fruit Pies continues since the local bodegas began stocking them above the Ring Dings.
I nosh on some chemical fruit. And I laugh at silly watches on douchescrotes.
Life is good.
Here’s your links:
HCwDB legend Joey Porsche arrested?
Hot Chocolate Bunnies with Douche Chocolate Bunnies.
Speaking of greatest things, how about the greatest closing title sequence of the 80s . Weller + Goldblum = win, even if one of Bonzai’s crew is a proto-douche.
For there is only one collar pop that gets a nottadouche, and it is Buckaroo Bonzai. Rockstar Leniency Rule exemplified.
Giant Isopods feast. Or, as they call it in Jersey, “All You Can Eat.”
You know you want it. You know you’ve earned it.
So who am I to deny you your reward for another week of douche mocking?
Not enough? Okay, one more.
Hourglasspear. I want to teethe upon ’tis cheek.
