Red Lobster
Please Sarah, whatever you do, don’t try the crabs.
The Real Housewives of Choadklahoma
And the milfs ask, “Is that a banana on your shirt or are you just a heaping pile of smelly douchepoo?”
Oh Sarah Jessica mom on the right.
How your zebra boobies refuse to stay concealed with the firmest of resistances.
How I applaud those resiliant boobies in this, the time of your 30s. With two annoying kids in the back of your SUV.
Your life suggests vacuous middle class suburban malaise. Endless Red Lobster dinners and CostCo shopping cards. But your boobies refuse to give in to the mediocrity of culture sprawl.
And for that, I touch them awkwardly with my pinky.
I guess we're live
Hell. The site’s a mess and it wasn’t supposed to go live until next week, but fuggit.
I’m gettin’ drunk.
I guess we’re live
Hell. The site’s a mess and it wasn’t supposed to go live until next week, but fuggit.
I’m gettin’ drunk.
Friday Haiku
Stallone Douche says “yo!”
Shows toxic Groin Shave Reveal,
While Pam’s boobs implode.
Those pink ta-maters
Give me wood this fine morning
Douchebag kills the mood
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Flesh-eating worms grow
big in each abdomen. Feed
on Axe and plastic.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Her name is Nena
Not all of the poofed balloons
Are long, white and bent.
– Wheezer
Weather looks steamy,
A polka-dot bikini,
One tiny weenie.
– scrotum pole
Today’s episode
Of Douching for Dollars is
Brought to you by splut
– saulgoode42
Her boobs are legit
As Gypsy Three Card Monte
Using three d-cups
– Vin Douchal
Karen's Ear Wax Problem
This new douche run Ear Cleaning Business is really taking off.
First Cindy.
Now Karen.
Karen’s Ear Wax Problem
This new douche run Ear Cleaning Business is really taking off.
First Cindy.
Now Karen.
The Abs of Boe
Looks like the Barely Legal Giggle Hotties of Kappa Kappa Woo have found the Face of Boe’s abs, missing for four billion years.
Yeah, that’s right, fellow ‘bag hunters.
Doctor Who references.
Miami Bohunks
Still out there.
Still hitting on delightful gnaw shoulders like Maria here.
Still multiplying like rabbits.
Ask DB1: Whither the Pucker?
—-
DB1,
After three years of browsing your virtual playground of douche-nozzles, one overwhelmingly perplexing question remains: why do bag and bleeth alike pucker their lips when posing for what will soon become yet another passing memory in the Hall of Scrote?
Most sincerely,
Kierkegaardouche
—-
It is a psychoanalytic response to the presentation of the collective gaze in the form of the signifier of the technological.
In other words, when confronted with the alienation of the digital image capture of the self, the body must contort to become virtual spectacle.
Without contortion, the body cannot exist in the medium of the new representations.
And also, these morons think the chicks dig it.
