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Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Trapped in a Skeezer Sandwich
Don’t look down, Kelly!
Those aren’t barstools poking you in the thigh!
Yeah, I got nothin’. Too early. Stupid coffee. Not strong enough. Yet so delicious.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012Herpsters Suck
This reminder brought to you by scarves and the letter “E.”
Tuesday, June 5, 2012Breaking: Marissa Miller Still Married to a Twatwaffle
Just as she was in January of 2011.
And May of 2009.
And February of 2008.
This coupling atrocity will always be breaking news. Until the inevitable Divorce or Bleething occurs.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012Billy Bartleby Is Way Too Excited to Be Working Part Time as a D.J. In Sheboygan
Thought bubbles:
Billy: I hope Cheyenne is digging my sweet dyed faux. Hope she doesn’t think I’m losing my hair.
Cheyenne: WTF? Who dyes their hair and turns it into a faux when they’re going bald?
Suzanne: Are porcupines where they get porcelain from? If so, I’m totally throwing out my kitchen table.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012Australian Ladies Grade the Ab Reveal
In Australia, Ladies grade you! For douchey ab reveal.
And on an unrelated note, Aussie Hotts rank just slightly below Semitic Librarian Suckle Thigh for hottest regional pooch gnaw.
Monday, June 4, 2012The Good, The 'Bag, and the Douchey
Groin shave reveal.
Still out there.
Still the douche that shot Liberty Valance.
Monday, June 4, 2012Mack the Nozzle Approves of the HCwDB of the Week
Mack the Nozzle. HCwDB legend. Still running with the Goose. Still with tatted up douche everything.
No sign of the lucious Francine, though.
That reminds me. I gotta put this pud in the Hall of Scrote. That’s an epic run.
Monday, June 4, 2012HCwDB of the Week: Infectious Rick and Connie Thong Pear
A lil’ of the ole’ classic HCwDB takes the Weekly.
Your humble narrator is in NYC, stalking the hipster hotts at the East Village Dog Run. NYC hums with the nostalgic hues of a post-Beastie-Boys universe. And yet it carries on, even as the last remnants of the East Village fade into a hazy obscurity of American-Appareltopia and Starbucks coffee shops.
Nostalgia, as Don Draper’s carousel taught us, is the puncturing wound of a memory that never was.
Sunday, June 3, 2012Lego Porn
“You can guess what happens next.”
“He fixes the cable?”
Saturday, June 2, 2012Comment of the Week: Mr. Scrotato Head
Mr. S.H. waxes briefly poetic in the Karl’s White Shoes thread and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:
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When the wind kicks up at the county fair Kelly’s hair flies like blades of pale golden straw rippling under the hot mid day sun.
Most of it lands near the horse corrals, but some of it goes as far as the statue of Johnny Cash made entirely of butter. Just remember to check your wafflecone for any loose strands because the peroxyde ruins the taste.
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