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Friday, August 10, 2012
Friday Haiku
In bed, Lance causes
Seven seconds of terror,
Much like the Mars probe.
Space man is not thrilled.
Ground control to major Tom:
You’re gay as Bowie.
— hermit
Steve’s new pick-up line:
“Open the pod bay doors, H.A.L.”
results in dry balls.
— Douche Wayne
Luke Guystalker just
Wants these icky girls to go.
Saddles up Mugwomps.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
One small step for man
One giant step for douchebags
These steps are backwards.
— DoucheyWallnuts
Thursday, August 9, 2012Tunahead Is About to Make an Awkward Fish Joke to Ashley
Ashley will not get it.
Thursday, August 9, 2012Superspeedo
Look! At an overpriced Vegas event!
It’s a ‘bag!
It’s a douche!
It’s… Superspeedo!
Yeah, got nuthin’. I need a coffee.
Thursday, August 9, 2012Papa Smurf Got Eaten by a Brothabag
Serves him right for trying to peep into Kelly’s cabana.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012Champagne Katie Vs. Nipstachio
Speaking of HCwDB legends, for those wondering what’s up with confused HCwDB hottie, failed Hall of Hott Candidate, lawsuit filer, and all around internet attention ho’, Champagne Katie, turns out she’s currently in congress with failed Lucho Libre sensation Nipstachio.
Oh well.
There’s always tautpooch chew toy C.K. Beach Pear to help us recover.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012King Douchuous the IV Laughs at Kisseus Vomitorious's Efforts By Gettin' Busy
HCwDB’s legendary pimplenutter and celebrated entrant in our hallowed Hall of Scrote, King Douchuous the IV, laughs at pretenders to the Douche Crown such as Kisseus Vomitorious.
Any pretender ‘bag can show up, spike the hair, make the douche face, reveal the abs, and pose like a choadal clown with a bevy of hot chicks.
But only the true douchal legends can maintain consistency over years and years. That’s real dedication to the nihilism and disassociation required to become douche royalty.
Through economic boom. Through economic recession.
The seasons may change. The hot chicks most certainly change.
But King D keeps carryin’ on.
Like only the King that wears the Douchecrown can.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012A Japanese Man Sings An Ode to Chickens
Because someone has to.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012Kisseus Vomitorious Has a New Tattoo
And by “tattoo,” I mean the crotch rash.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012One Word Tuesday
Marcus Works Through the Trauma of his Pre-Teen Years
Just a few hundred more flex pics with the Paid-to-Pose Lalaina Sisters and that’ll teach ’em to make fun of anyone who dribbles too much with a juice box.
