HCwDB
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Monday, March 29, 2010
Willy Has a Thought
“If dark matter is made of neutrinos, then our universe’s entropic expansion may be accelerating faster than previously thought.
And my mandana, hat and glasses may look way stupid. but Sharlene digs it.”
Monday, March 29, 2010Where's Sorority Girl?
Somewhere in this lineup of fresh squeezed, taint filtered juicedouche, I’ve carefully hidden one, maybe two, Sorority Girls.
Look closely.
Can you see their fathers weeping and rending their garments and cursing Ganesh?
Monday, March 29, 2010Where’s Sorority Girl?
Somewhere in this lineup of fresh squeezed, taint filtered juicedouche, I’ve carefully hidden one, maybe two, Sorority Girls.
Look closely.
Can you see their fathers weeping and rending their garments and cursing Ganesh?
Monday, March 29, 2010Frankie the Greasehead Gets His Gall Bladder Checked
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my many days traversing the globe as a spice runner, anthropologist and part-time pimp, it’s this:
Gall bladder tongue removal just isn’t sanitary.
No, not even in Tijuana.
Monday, March 29, 2010No HCwDB of the Week This Week
Regular voting will resume next week.
Instead, I’m giving Antonio and Vanessa, a coupling of classic Jerz Guid, an honorary HCwDB of the Week.
Because bra popping out of low cut white tanktop is about as douchebaguette as it gets for Vanessa.
And Tony busts toxic eyebrow sculpt, Ed Hardy 10 Degree Hat Tilt, and the bizarre white belt substitute phallus trend that we’ve been tracking for a year now.
But props to the Snack Shack on the Long Island shore for maintaining such quality health standards on their floor.
Sunday, March 28, 2010Questionable Self Portrait #561
At what point does a douche, at 2am with his sorority hott half drunk and sloppy, think “now would be a great time for a mirror self portrait”?
And who gets a tatt of Archimedes on their upper arm area?
Yup.
More random questions as the DB1 sits around on a Sunday and hopes his tech team decides to help get the new site back online today. So far, no luck.
Sunday, March 28, 2010How to Seduce Women: The Push-Pull Technique
Remember kids, “consistently tease her while giving her compliments.” Works every time!
Saturday, March 27, 2010Euro Crud at a Florida Old Folks Home
Note to Euro Douches:
There is one, and only one, instance in which the low cut pec-reveal shirt is acceptable. And it is pictured here.
Otherwise, unless you’re chasing down terrorists for kidnapping your daughter, button it up, greasyfreak.
Belinda, you make the duckface and my soul dies a tiny bit.
But since Grampa Al forgives you, I will too.
Saturday, March 27, 2010The 2010 Tax on Orangeness
One thing we can all agree on about the new healthcare bill:
The Orange Tan Tax is a nice blow to douchal narcissism.
Between this and last month’s pollution penalty levied on the makers of Axe Bodyspray, the first serious pushback on douchal product has kicked into overdrive. And not a moment too soon.
Now if only we could tax douchey-ass frosted tip spikey hair.
Saturday, March 27, 2010Your Hipsterbag Saturday
Dave just got back from South by Southwest, and, as he wrote on his blog, Ice cream I Scream, it was “almost Burning Man rad.”
Shelly has the dancing doe eyes of eternal haunting.
And so I slap a penguin in honor of her thighs.
