Holiday
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Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Douchey/Happy Holidays from HCwDB!!
May you and yours cuddle by the fire and enjoy a hearty cup of Egg Noggin, or whatever it is the Christians are drinking these days. Judging by the news, I’m guessing it’s Kool-aid.
But I am not here to rant about the current angry, white Christo-douchepocalpyse that has taken hold in our country. Or even the Orange Douchepocalpyse of yesteryear. No, not even the unholy Star Wars alien teat milk that is Crissmas Angel.
For this site would be a mere flicker in the darkness of the storm that soon must rage to restore a more balanced and equinimical world not only betwixt ‘bag and hott but human and fellow human. Or Human and Dharma ‘Bag.
I am here to wish you a Happy Holidays, a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Scientology Xenu Day.
Do not dispair, fellow hotts, ‘bag hunters, and those that traverse the socially constructed gender binaries therein. A better world is not that far off. Hold out hope. The Ghosts of Douchemas Past may haunt us yet, but tomorrow is another day. And the mock never truly dies.
Saturday, December 19, 2015The 12 Days of Douchemas
Happy Ramadan!
EDIT: Sadly the video of “The Twelve Days of Douchemas” that posted (via LiveLeak) wasn’t playing right and the great Mr. Scrotato Head appears to have removed the clip from YouTube. Which means it is gone down the memory hole. Alas, alack, it must live on only in our collective memories as the greatest tribute video ever produced.
So instead here’s a pic of two Yuletoads macking on Jenny.
And a few more Christmas HCwDB for your pleasure/pain:
The Dharmabag lights his orbs on fire
Saturday, October 31, 2015Happy Halloween from HCwDB!!
EDIT: Apparently upset at this revival mocking of Closet of Poo enshrinee The Poopaloompa, someone named Luna posted in the comments thread to offer a defensive justapoopafication:
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The funny thing about this “douche bag” is that he is one of the kindest people alive today, but none of you take the time to know this. He probably helped get those women into shape, you know, because he is a personal trainer as well as a very successful musician. What have any of you done to better your lives, you know, besides making a website dedicated to putting down other people you know absolutely nothing about. The real douche bag reward belongs to every single one of you on account of being jealous twats.
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Let us all marvel at the benevolence of this guy. For let he who is without ab crunch cast the first hottie training session.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014The Stuffed Turkwadius
And as a nation sits down to celebrate ritual festivity and familial obligation, a lone Turkwadius greases his chin fung uponst the plump, fertile cranberries of a dancer known only as ‘Harvest Season.’ And by polio blankets, I mean the groin itch.
Friday, October 31, 2014Happy ‘Bagoween!!
Ah, yes. The spectacular Pimpbag and his Gaggle of Woo.
Even the leniency of spectacle on this Hallow’s Eve is not enough to excuse douche essence.
Let this post be a shout-out to all ‘bag hunters and huntresses still occasionally dropping in on this creaky bloggy legacy of a previous internet age now banished to myth and legend.
No matter how much Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter take away the authentic voice in favor of a stream of carefully calibrated clickbait stim, HCwDB will remain in its purest form.
I may not post all that often these days. But your humb narrs is still wandering around this vast digital wasteland.
Still horrified at the vacuous state of digitally lubricated party insanity that transforms us into walking billboards of inconspicuous consumption.
Douchebags and party woo hotts may have sublimated their spectacle. But the choadspoo continues to spew like a load of rotting scrotal toad.
The ‘bag/hott dialectics rot the core of spiritual progress that all generations must necessarily undertake. Or abdicate, to the tragic detriment of all.
Enjoy the Hallow’s Eve and all wherefore to come as we head into the days of Turkey and Jesus. But carry on the mock for all to see the enlightment that oh so often penetrates the fog of an overstimulated, exhausted, frantic neutron dance decimated by too much media crotch fondle and not enough clarity.
Monday, February 17, 2014Happy Presidents Day!
Like a lost Vegas tourist caught passing behind an HCwDB disaster in mid trainwreck, your humble narrator is back in sunny Los Angeles.
A week well spent on the snowy East Coast.
Lots of pizza and burgers were consumed. Drinks were imbibed. Diapers changed.
Firing up some new pics for this week so we can get our mock on again. For those of you caught in yet another snowstorm, alls I can offer is this humble soliloquy.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014Happy 2014!!
Happy New Year!!
May all of your wildest dreams come true in 2014.
And may the douchenozzles macking on the hotts continue to be shunned and mocked by an evolving society that can and must know better.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013Merry Christmas! Now Look At This Pic And Realize Life Is Worthless and Devoid of Meaning
There is no Santa.
Only Zuul.
And by Zuul, I mean melonic tatinicas.
Boobs.
Yankees suck.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013Merry Christmas From HCwDB!!
A little nostalgia clip as this was also the band that played my Bar Mitzvah back in the late 1980s.
Needless to say, Grandma Ida was not amused.
Thursday, November 28, 2013Happy Thanks-hannukah!!
To celebrate this odd pairing of turkey and gefilte fish, I thought I’d seek out the least Jewish image I could find on the internets.
Musclebros and Party Chicks in mid pose outta do that trick.
Either that, or this one.
