Hall of Scrote
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Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Gator Forever
HCwDB legends like The Gator don’t burn out. And they don’t fade away.
They just keep pulling A-List princess hotts like Maira. As they grow puffier and puffier.
EDIT: This may, in fact, not be The Gator (jury still out), in which case, I dub thee, “The Hatchling.”
Wednesday, June 9, 2010Joey Porsche And Crew Remind Us What Douche Is
Some of you are complaining that that last pic, The Prince of Poosia, isn’t douchey enough to mock, nor hottie enough to appreciate.
So have some vintage 2007 HCwDB of the Year winner, Joey Porsche Crew.
To remind us what we fight against.
And to remember what happens when young women with much physical gifts to offer, in their prime, cohabit with greased up Long Island driftchoad.
The whole thing devolves into a scrum of rancid armpit grease.
Monday, May 31, 2010Wishing You a Contemplative and Reflective Memorial Day
As we contemplate those soldiers who paid the ultimate sacrifice in blood and tears in times of war, let us also remember this:
The Starblazer and Astra are now cohabiting with 2009 Douchebag of the Year, the legendary Smoot.
No Weekly today. Regular postings resume tomorrow.
Thursday, May 13, 2010King Douchuous the IV Spikes Onward
It is clear as we move through 2010 that while many douches might rise up for a brief time while pursuing the hotts, only to burn out in an implosion of Axe Bodyspray and L.A. Looks hair gel, the true legends of mock are marked not only by douchosity, but by longevity.
And by longevity, I mean a lifelong commitment to being total assclowns.
Even as they get more and more leathery.
We’ve seen HCwDB legends the Donk, Xenu, Joey Porsche and Smoot carry their “game” into 2010, and now here’s Hall of Scrote legend King Douchuous the IV, proving his kingdom of pudwack continues to reign over the party blonde suckle thighs.
Average ‘bags drop by the wayside. Get jobs. Wash out the gel.
But not the legends. They scrote onward evermore. And so we are there. To to laugh at the silly hair.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010HCwDB in the New York Times: “Signs of Neanderthals Mating With Humans”
Speaking of Pumpito, The New York Times Science Section begins the long, arduous process of explaining the biology of Hottie/Douchey cohabit:
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Signs of Neanderthals Mating With Humans
By NICHOLAS WADE
Published: May 6, 2010
Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence.
The biologists, led by Svante Paabo of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, have been slowly reconstructing the genome of Neanderthals, the stocky hunters that dominated Europe until 30,000 years ago, by extracting the fragments of DNA that still exist in their fossil bones. Just last year, when the biologists first announced that they had decoded the Neanderthal genome, they reported no significant evidence of interbreeding.
Scientists say they have recovered 60 percent of the genome so far and hope to complete it. By comparing that genome with those of various present day humans, the team concluded that about 1 percent to 4 percent of the genome of non-Africans today is derived from Neanderthals. But the Neanderthal DNA does not seem to have played a great role in human evolution, they said.
Experts believe that the Neanderthal genome sequence will be of extraordinary importance in understanding human evolutionary history since the two species split some 600,000 years ago.
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Experts also believe the Neanderthal genome sequence will help explain douchebags like Smoot, pictured here.
Read the rest of the article here.
EDIT: And in related media news, the inane lawsuit filed against my book makes The Huffington Posts Most Frivolous Lawsuits of All Time.
HCwDB in the New York Times: "Signs of Neanderthals Mating With Humans"
Speaking of Pumpito, The New York Times Science Section begins the long, arduous process of explaining the biology of Hottie/Douchey cohabit:
——
Signs of Neanderthals Mating With Humans
By NICHOLAS WADE
Published: May 6, 2010
Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence.
The biologists, led by Svante Paabo of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, have been slowly reconstructing the genome of Neanderthals, the stocky hunters that dominated Europe until 30,000 years ago, by extracting the fragments of DNA that still exist in their fossil bones. Just last year, when the biologists first announced that they had decoded the Neanderthal genome, they reported no significant evidence of interbreeding.
Scientists say they have recovered 60 percent of the genome so far and hope to complete it. By comparing that genome with those of various present day humans, the team concluded that about 1 percent to 4 percent of the genome of non-Africans today is derived from Neanderthals. But the Neanderthal DNA does not seem to have played a great role in human evolution, they said.
Experts believe that the Neanderthal genome sequence will be of extraordinary importance in understanding human evolutionary history since the two species split some 600,000 years ago.
———
Experts also believe the Neanderthal genome sequence will help explain douchebags like Smoot, pictured here.
Read the rest of the article here.
EDIT: And in related media news, the inane lawsuit filed against my book makes The Huffington Posts Most Frivolous Lawsuits of All Time.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010Donkey Douche and the Art of Groin Shave Reveal
There are many douchebag pretenders to the act of Groin Shave Reveal (GSR) in presence of tasty suckle thigh hotties at the beach.
There is only one Donkey Douche.
All other douches can only cower and quake with their pube trimmers and hand gestures. For D.D. sets the standard by which all others are shorn.
Thursday, April 15, 2010Donkey Douche says, “Not So Fast, Xenu!”
Wait… Whats this?!
It’s the Donk!!
Yes, HCwDB legend and 2009 Lifetime Douchechievement Winner Donkey Douche heard that Xenu and Joey Porsche were coming by to prove their bonafides, and the Donk said, “Oh hell no!!! I can top those douchebags.”
Well, what he actually said was, “Grunnnghhhhh. Me like tacos.” But I extrapolated the rest.
Here’s the Donkster bringing another HCwDB legend of taint, 2007’s Chandlerbag, three (!) Ubiquitous Red Cups and the sweet, innocent drinkability of Julianne and her innovative boobal cell phone storage system. That’s one power-packed HCwDB pic, people.
That’s why the Donk is Hall of Scrote legend. There are many douches in this world. Few, who can bring a consistency of arm grease like the Donkster.
Donkey Douche says, "Not So Fast, Xenu!"
Wait… Whats this?!
It’s the Donk!!
Yes, HCwDB legend and 2009 Lifetime Douchechievement Winner Donkey Douche heard that Xenu and Joey Porsche were coming by to prove their bonafides, and the Donk said, “Oh hell no!!! I can top those douchebags.”
Well, what he actually said was, “Grunnnghhhhh. Me like tacos.” But I extrapolated the rest.
Here’s the Donkster bringing another HCwDB legend of taint, 2007’s Chandlerbag, three (!) Ubiquitous Red Cups and the sweet, innocent drinkability of Julianne and her innovative boobal cell phone storage system. That’s one power-packed HCwDB pic, people.
That’s why the Donk is Hall of Scrote legend. There are many douches in this world. Few, who can bring a consistency of arm grease like the Donkster.
Thursday, April 15, 2010Xenu: Lord of Scrotentology
Often, ‘bag hunters will email me and ask me about our hallowed Hall of Scrote legends.
“Surely these people can’t maintain their intensity of scrotological burn as they chase hotties?” they ask me. “Don’t Hall of Scrote legends burn out?”
Were that it were so, imaginary conversation person.
Earlier this week we checked in with Joey Porsche, just as douchey as ever. Today, it’s Hall of Scrote legend Xenu. Classing it up with the barely legal hotties by puttin’ on a matching tie and coat.
You go with your formal self, Xenu, Warlord of Scrotentology. Your people look up to you from their clarity tests and know you are level-8 poo.
And I see each of you, powdered bottom girls from Dusseldorf. You knew not what Americans were like until you visited on your summer exchange program. And now you curse Western hegemony. But it’s too late.
