Ask DB1: Russell Brand
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DB1,
First off, could you please do a full-tilt analysis of the Grieco known as Russell Brand? I was wandering Borders when I was infected by the ooze of his book, My Booky Wook, which should really be titled “I get pussy and you dont nyah nyah.”
Ugh, if anybody is a poster boy for douchebag posing, he’s it.
– Mr. Biggs
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Russell Brand is a key celebubag to our present historical moment, and you are correct to mark him as mock worthy, Mr. B.
Brand’s stratagem of douche is the incorporation of self deprecation as the tool of reframing his ego and narcissism. He is “Mystery” + humor, and thus, an important development in our war.
Brand wants to have his douche cake and gel it too. As such, we must mock with an increasingly sarcastic linguistic response. Playing off his own “persona” in comedies does not excuse the inherent doucheyness therein. It only couches it in irony as an attempt to get away with it.
Katy Perry, a stage 4 Bleeth is, on the other hand, about as alluring as a crotch blender set on “puree.” So perhaps it all evens out in the end.
Where's Waldouche: Ben Affliction Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of tasty “Jennifer Anniston before we realized she was more boring than cardboard” hotties, I’ve carefully hidden the star of such movies as “”The Sum of All Bodyspray,” “Gellgli” and “Pearl Necklace.”
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Where’s Waldouche: Ben Affliction Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of tasty “Jennifer Anniston before we realized she was more boring than cardboard” hotties, I’ve carefully hidden the star of such movies as “”The Sum of All Bodyspray,” “Gellgli” and “Pearl Necklace.”
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Retro Doggie 'Baggin'
One of the key douchebag maneuvers of 2008, The Doggie ‘Bag, has recently become as extinct as the dodo, saber tooth tiger, and the entire eco system of the gulf coast.
Normally this would be good news. Except that it’s been replaced in 2010 by Groin Shave Reveal (GSR).
Nonetheless, here’s a mini throwback pic, with Shirtless Elwood ‘Bag annoying hottie librarian Sandra. It’s more like a half Doggie ‘Bag, (a Chihuahua ‘Bag?) but it qualifies.
Retro Doggie ‘Baggin’
One of the key douchebag maneuvers of 2008, The Doggie ‘Bag, has recently become as extinct as the dodo, saber tooth tiger, and the entire eco system of the gulf coast.
Normally this would be good news. Except that it’s been replaced in 2010 by Groin Shave Reveal (GSR).
Nonetheless, here’s a mini throwback pic, with Shirtless Elwood ‘Bag annoying hottie librarian Sandra. It’s more like a half Doggie ‘Bag, (a Chihuahua ‘Bag?) but it qualifies.
Aimee Is Trapped by the Limitations of Her Environment
Maybe in another life, Aimee would’ve made it out of suburban Indianapolis. Gotten that scholarship at Bennington and a chance to major in costume design.
Instead, Aimee will just have to accept the limitations of her world.
Bros with sharpies, and posters of beer pong.
Starblazer Says "Not So Fast, Shark!"
The Starblazer and his hottie Astra, say, “We’ll see you in the next Weekly, Sharkboy!”
The gauntlet has been thrown.
And by gauntlet, I mean ridiculously dainty wristdanna.
EDIT: Starblazer and Astra also wanted you to know that there’s an “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” marathon on MTV today from 3-6pm. Checkitout!
Starblazer Says “Not So Fast, Shark!”
The Starblazer and his hottie Astra, say, “We’ll see you in the next Weekly, Sharkboy!”
The gauntlet has been thrown.
And by gauntlet, I mean ridiculously dainty wristdanna.
EDIT: Starblazer and Astra also wanted you to know that there’s an “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” marathon on MTV today from 3-6pm. Checkitout!
The Shark Begrudgingly Nods his Mo' at Lint Diesel
“You’ve proven your pudwackery in service of hott chasing, Lint Diesel. But I will bring assorted quality hotts, and ridiculous douche-head to the next Weekly. So be warned. For I am human walking herp sore.”
The gel-head crown does not rest easy. There are challengers around every club corner.
The Shark Begrudgingly Nods his Mo’ at Lint Diesel
“You’ve proven your pudwackery in service of hott chasing, Lint Diesel. But I will bring assorted quality hotts, and ridiculous douche-head to the next Weekly. So be warned. For I am human walking herp sore.”
The gel-head crown does not rest easy. There are challengers around every club corner.
