Friday Thoughts and Links
Your humble narrator is hard at work polishing his site’s redesign. And by “polishing his site’s redesign,” I mean a Madlibian euphemism for:
1. Masturbation
2. Alcohol
3. Tasty Mr. Pibb, which is superior to Dr. Pepper, even if it only has an undergraduate degree.
Yup. Makin’ no sense, takin’ no names, and playin’ no Pac-Man.
Here’s your links:
Who wants some fuccen Nesquick?
Anyone who thinks all those “Game” strategies to seduce women by acting like a choad have run their course, think again. There’s: Project Charm.
Reader Justin La Plante (no relation to Ass Pear La Plante) has started up a Facebook series on Douche Rock. Give a fellow ‘bag hunter some support.
Need a job? How about Tanning Butler?
Documentary I’m most excited to see in 2010? American: The Bill Hicks Story.
Best gameshow ever. French women are uber-gnaw.
Christian Audiger shits on a Cadillac.
And, even more depressingly, unveils the Ed Hardy Wedding Cake. Guaranteeing six months of wedded bliss and a lifetime of Valtrex.
“Ganguro,” a highly toxic new strain of Douchebaguette, heads for American shores.
Epic Fail finds Epic Freak. (Warning: disturbingly creepy)
Sometimes an HCwDB pic needs a little Facebookian Context for true ‘bag effect.
Ya know, some days I want to venture to a museum of modern art. I want to contemplate Degas and Van Gogh and Renoir. I want to drink in the highest accomplishments of the human race. And other days, I just want to watch Ass Pear playing xBox.
And while an actual Ass Pear pic seems anticlimaxtic after that clip, here’s your Friday Ass Pear:
Go forth, friends. Go forth, and ferment. For the weekend is thine.
They Like Pina Coladas
I have nothing to really add to this standard tropical Hottie/Douchey Bleethy/Fratty pic other than the fact that those drinks deserve their own show. They amuse me.
Friday Haiku
Sickly burned glow skin,
Orange, like nuked papayrus.
But boobs reassure.
Don’t look so surprised.
Those girls don’t really like you.
They just hate their dads.
— Blair
Despite the two tabs he dropped
And vacant dilation
Cleavage goes unnoticed
– Baleen
drinkstrong’s charity
ed hardy drive, brynne donates
her cans for the cure.
– Euripidouche
The hills are alive
with the sound of music. Ken
can’t hear the music.
– Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Kim was the last girl
Devon would ever serve a
Flaming Aqualung
– Mr. Scrotato Head
Clueless question face
Aggressive girls scare douchebag
Boobies go untouched
– MC 900 Foot Douchebag
Ian Ziering choad
Camden 08108
MTV next fall
– Vin Douchal
Lazlo and Jake Finally Throw That Pool Party They Were Always Talking About at the Frat
Lazlo is so excited, he’s showing off his patented “Groin Shave Reveal: Thai Style” (GSRTS).
Breaking: Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock Married to a Douche Nozzle
.
Now I’m not one for keeping up on the latest Hollywood gossip.
Heck, I don’t think I’ve seen a Sandra Bullock film since she left the cast of “Cheers” and gained all that weight. Although I did love her performance in “Summer School.”
But apparently after winning her Oscar, Mrs. Bullock was shocked to discover that her beefy biker husband, who goes by the name “Jesse James,” was cheating on her with a tatt’d up stripper. Yes, he gave up the Oscar Pear for this Bleethy ‘Baguette.
And, since I like HCwDB to stay topical with the latest Hollywood gossip, I thought I should post something on this fascinating and highly engaging entertainment news story!!
Yeah. You’re right. Who gives a frozen rabbit turd.
Back to real people.
Caption This Pic
The power of Joey’s chest sheen termporarily blinded Emily enough to cause her to collapse during the second chorus of “You Give Love a Bad Name” at “Karaoke Jovi” night at the Tube Bar.
Attention Canadian HCwDB Fans!
Is She Really Going Out With Him? Season 2 starts on MTV Canada on March 22nd at 8:30pm!
Checkitout, and let your humble narrator know what you think.
And notice I didn’t make any “eh?” jokes? Because really. I’m above that.
Jesse's Girl
Hey Rick, you might love the 80s. But word on the street is the 80s think you’re a ninnypud.
Euro Sandra deserves better. Like a tasty soda. And sound college advice. And awkward emails with headers that read “Hey, whatsup?” from me when she turns eighteen next year.
Jesse’s Girl
Hey Rick, you might love the 80s. But word on the street is the 80s think you’re a ninnypud.
Euro Sandra deserves better. Like a tasty soda. And sound college advice. And awkward emails with headers that read “Hey, whatsup?” from me when she turns eighteen next year.
