Caption This Pic
Tony’s crop circle hair and face sucking ability inspired M. Night Shyamalan’s latest thriller, “The Hackening.”
Wedding 'Baggers
Da dum da dum… da dum da dum… da dum de scrotes, dum de scrotes, smells like poo poo…
As if the hand gestures weren’t bad enough, out comes the douche poses.
Wedding ‘Baggers
Da dum da dum… da dum da dum… da dum de scrotes, dum de scrotes, smells like poo poo…
As if the hand gestures weren’t bad enough, out comes the douche poses.
Reader Mail: Jennifer's Superdouche Tag
—-
TO DB1:
These are some pics of douches we met in Seattle’s infamous bar, Amber.
They thought it was necessary to do these outrageous poses for whatever reason. The lights were really dim, and one guy thought he actually pulled off the “just got off the yacht” tanned look. He almost did until we clearly saw his orange face from the flash in the pictures. LOL.
Anyway, let me know if any of these pictures make it onto the blog.
xoxo,
Jennifer
—-
I don’t know which of these three ladies are you, Jennifer. But I know that this is a quality ‘bag tag, worth at least 350 points on “Douche Hunter,” and so I would thank you. By massaging your temples with melted tuscan chocolates and light, powdered ‘nilla extract.
Until you grew bored and texted your BFF to come over before I went for the boob.
Reader Mail: Jennifer’s Superdouche Tag
—-
TO DB1:
These are some pics of douches we met in Seattle’s infamous bar, Amber.
They thought it was necessary to do these outrageous poses for whatever reason. The lights were really dim, and one guy thought he actually pulled off the “just got off the yacht” tanned look. He almost did until we clearly saw his orange face from the flash in the pictures. LOL.
Anyway, let me know if any of these pictures make it onto the blog.
xoxo,
Jennifer
—-
I don’t know which of these three ladies are you, Jennifer. But I know that this is a quality ‘bag tag, worth at least 350 points on “Douche Hunter,” and so I would thank you. By massaging your temples with melted tuscan chocolates and light, powdered ‘nilla extract.
Until you grew bored and texted your BFF to come over before I went for the boob.
Faux or Background Bottles?
Okay kids, time to play another round of the game that’s sweeping the nation, Faux or Background Bottles?
Ah what point does Party Patrick’s multi-greased fauxhawk end, and the bottles on the background shelf begin?
E-Blo just Voted
HCwDB of the Year finalist E-Blo (far left) just threw a hott party (complete with bros and alien light show) before casting his vote in this week’s Weekly.
You may not be able to tell how excited E-Blo is by the total lack of expression on his face. But he is overjoyed.
Note the sideways peace sign. Like with dogs wagging their tail, that’s the giveaway for E-Blo to demonstrate joy.
HCwDB of the Week
One more slot to fill before the HCwDB of the Year begins. You know what to do.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Dissected Frog
For giving me the chance to make the rare E.T. Erika Eleniak reference, the ‘Frog makes the Weekly.
And for punchable douche-face, chin dribble, hair spike and hieroglyphic hand gesture.
And on the H.C. side, she may not be conventionally hott, but pouty Long Island Princess, Vera, does it for me.
She just wants to finish cosmotology school. Because she wants to be an astronaut.
Also, lets not forget Frogger’s #2. There’s something fascinating about girls who giggle while their douche makes two “Shocker” hand gestures.
Tee hee hee, he’s describing what he’d do to your weewee and hooha!!
And for originally appearing back in June as Alpaca Farm Head, as well as possibly popping up elsewhere over the months, Frog gets his shot.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Robopud
Killer douche cyborgs sent to clean up crime in futuristic Detroit always make the weekly.
Robopud also brings two A-List brunette party hotts to the giggle table.
With bodies a slammin’. Of great genetic quality.
Expensive drinks and texting of friends.
But there’s something about Robopud that qualifies him as truly mockworthily scrotal.
Yup.
You guessed it.
Groin Shave Reveal (GSR).
One of the absolutely worst of the 2009 ‘bag innovations. The act of revealing the shorn testes to the world. I smell a 2009 Douchie Award for this concept. And by smell, I mean smell.
Also, Mona’s butt on the left deserves an Ass Pear award. Extremely biteable.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Salt Lick
For mackin’ on the barely legals with that douchey-ass hair.
And then actually scoring some drunk roofie makeout with ‘bag hand gesture, The ‘Lick earns his place in the Weekly.
Not to mention the Goofy gloves.
And not to mention the nip pinch of douche #2.
We even have “Lost Ed Hardy Zombie” in the background.
And Hustlin’ Vietnamese Trader Guy on the left.
Add ’em up, and it’s a worthy third entry in our Weekly.
(Dis)honorable mention to The Trollbag, who just missed the cut for being more freakish than douchey, and Brooke and the Tangelo, who sort of fascinate me but I’m not sure why.
Them’s your three. We have an abbreviated few Weeklys left before a final Monthly, and then the Yearly at the 2009 Douchies.
You know what to do.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Smoot Says "Grroooo"
HCwDB of the Year candidate and scoliosis sufferer, Smoot (without Crystal, on the right), has picked up the gauntlet thrown down by E-Blo on Friday by bringing in Hall of Scrote legend King Douchuous the IV to validate his chances.
As well as two Hoochie Blondes, a secondary douche, and Brothabag Vern. Who just wants to go home.
Yup. The Yearly is going to be a smackdown of epic proportions.
Just to get you ready, here are your HCwDB of the Year finalists who will be competing at the 2009 Douchies:
1. The Ghoulbag and Tri-Hotts
2. Crimson Ted and The Legs Girls
3. Crosshair McJohnson and Leia
4. Anchor Chin and Racquel
5. E-Blo and Brittney
6. Bucky and Kathy Hott
7. Smoot and Crystal
8. Mack the Nozzle and Francine
9. The Poopaloompa and Jane
10. Sir Sucks-a-Lot and Assorted Hotts (wildcard)
11. TBD
One round of three HCwDB of the Year semifinals (3 per), and then each winner in the finals.
Hmm. Eleven makes my job confusing, as I’m not sure how to break down into three groupings of preliminary voting to determine our final three couplings. May need to drop the bottom two from contention.
In the meantime, get ready. The 2009 Douchies are almost here.
Smoot Says “Grroooo”
HCwDB of the Year candidate and scoliosis sufferer, Smoot (without Crystal, on the right), has picked up the gauntlet thrown down by E-Blo on Friday by bringing in Hall of Scrote legend King Douchuous the IV to validate his chances.
As well as two Hoochie Blondes, a secondary douche, and Brothabag Vern. Who just wants to go home.
Yup. The Yearly is going to be a smackdown of epic proportions.
Just to get you ready, here are your HCwDB of the Year finalists who will be competing at the 2009 Douchies:
1. The Ghoulbag and Tri-Hotts
2. Crimson Ted and The Legs Girls
3. Crosshair McJohnson and Leia
4. Anchor Chin and Racquel
5. E-Blo and Brittney
6. Bucky and Kathy Hott
7. Smoot and Crystal
8. Mack the Nozzle and Francine
9. The Poopaloompa and Jane
10. Sir Sucks-a-Lot and Assorted Hotts (wildcard)
11. TBD
One round of three HCwDB of the Year semifinals (3 per), and then each winner in the finals.
Hmm. Eleven makes my job confusing, as I’m not sure how to break down into three groupings of preliminary voting to determine our final three couplings. May need to drop the bottom two from contention.
In the meantime, get ready. The 2009 Douchies are almost here.
